Bella´s confession

Well, I had another twilight or I´ll rather say New Moon based muse and I´ve written a poem about Bella´s feeling right after Edward left her. Hope you would like it and comment it :)

Bella´s confession

Lying here alone,
with noone to pick me up
from this emptiness
which surrounds me.
I still have him in front of me
my blunt sight
doesn´t recognize anything else.
I´ve found my own world,
thought I couldn´t describe
how I feel, but I feel just
EMPTY, HOLLOW.
Closed up in my small room,
I was happy, too happy
so it could last longer.
It never made sense for me,
that he loved me.
I just cannot imagine my life without him.
How can I replace the h*** in my inner?
Fulfill the empty space,
which he left, when he´s gone?
I feel I would split in thousand pieces,
my soul would never be the same again,
I´m wounded, broken, in pain,
cause of my lost love.
How much time passed since he left?
Day? Week? Month?
I don´t care,
I´m like a porcelain doll,
so fragile and breakable,
someone just end the agony I feel,
I don´t want to suffer,
but it seems like I don´t have another choice.
I´m not able to go through it on my own,
I need a sun, I need a light,
but I´m bonded to him.
I´m caged in my own inner h***,
an empty h***, which cuts me into pieces
whenever I think of him.
I´m chocking every time I dream of him
every time I see him in my visions
I´m afraid to walk through the place
where I was the happiest
the time is irreclaimable gone
I have to sacrifice it,
no matter what would be,
I just have to try to live forward without him,
but how?
I´m feeling dead though I´m still breathing
the only way to forget,
is there a way to forget?
NO,
but I have to force myself.
Stand up on my feet and start seeking
looking for my personal sun.

27th October 2009 Neyma Sue
Inspirited by Stephenie Meyer´s Twilight saga book New Moon

Tags: bella, fanfiction, moon, new, swan