Chapter 3- Of First Light...again. I had a lot of messages from people looking for the older posts of this story so I am reposting them. Enjoy!!
My stomach was full of butterflies as we drove to my house just outside of Forks. There was only about an hour left of driving, and for the first time I wished we lived further away. Like
somewhere on the East Coast, perhaps. I was so worried how to act in front of
my parents when I got home. What would they think of this new development? I
looked over at Jacob driving and he looked perfectly at ease. He glanced away
from the road momentarily to look at me.
“Will you just relax?” he said smiling. “It will be fine. This isn’t as big a deal as you think it is, you know. You really should trust me a little more.”
I rolled my eyes at him, annoyed. “Easy for you to say. You aren’t the only miracle child of two dangerous vampires,” I retorted.
He threw his head back laughing. “It’ll be fine, Ness. Don’t worry. It isn’t like you’re bringing home a new boyfriend for the first time. I’m sure they’ll approve.
Besides, this was inevitable, remember?” He teased.
“Just do your best to control your thoughts when we get there, okay Jake?” I warned him. “Let’s not give him any visuals.”
I sighed at the thought of my utter humiliation as my father got the full instant replay of us kissing in the car, as he plucked it out of Jacob’s head. I could block my thoughts from him, but
Jacob’s mind was an open book unless he was making an effort to think of
something else. He reached over and took my hand in his.
“I have more control than you give me credit for,” he said defensively. “My brain may not have the same super self control as yours, but I can certainly think about something inconsequential for
an hour or two”
I laughed a little at his description of my gift.
“Control huh? I wouldn’t go as far as to say that.” I said.
“Well whatever it is….” He trailed off momentarily. “I never really asked you before, but now that we are on the subject….how does it work, exactly?” he asked.
I looked out the window thinking of the right words to describe how my gift worked. I didn’t know where to start. I never really had to explain it before.
“Well, it’s not that simple to explain” I told him. “It changes. When I was a baby it was the easiest way to communicate. If I wasn’t paying attention, my thoughts would flow over to
whoever I would touch. As I got older, I found I could do it more selectively
without having to concentrate so much on not doing it.”
I stopped for a second to make sure this all made sense to him. He nodded urging me to go on.
Of course, he could follow, and I was sure this much hadn’t gone unnoticed on his part. He had been with me practically every day since I was born.
“Well, now I have a much stronger command of my thoughts,” I continued. ”For the most part, I never transfer them unless I choose to, but I slip sometimes if I have a heightened emotion. Like
if I’m really happy, or upset, or angry- “
“Or when I kiss you,” he interjected
I looked down and smiled sheepishly. “Yes, I suppose that qualifies. It’s embarrassing though. I’ll try to work on keeping that under control, sorry.”
He didn’t respond right away so I looked up at him to read his face. His expression was still teasing.
“What?” I demanded.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to take it that way. Actually, I especially liked that part.” He shrugged non-chalantly, but the teasing expression was still welded to his face.
“Guys are always worried about what girls think of their kissing expertise. It is good to know I have such a dizzying effect on you. It does wonders for my ego.” He explained with a laugh.
His grin stretched across his face flashing his white teeth.
I made a face at him and looked away. Uncontrollably, my mind wandered back to that moment and quickly realized that he was right.
“Just out of curiosity….does one of those wonders happen to be modesty?” I ventured. He chuckled and kissed the top of my hand.
“Nope.” He answered jokingly.
If it wasn’t for the fact that I was irritated I would not have been able to stop staring at him. It felt strange that he looked so different to me now. It was like looking at a
different person- or as if I was looking at him for the first time.
I loved how the muscles in his arms flexed when he gripped the steering wheel, and how his white cotton t-shirt stretched across his sculpted body. I wanted to reach
across and run my hand down the length of his arm, but thought better of it.
That would not be ideal considering I was just saying how I was going to work on keeping those types of thoughts under wraps for now. Instead, I moved to get the conversation back on track.
“What was I saying?” I hedged
“Oh, you were talking about the unyielding command you have on your thoughts,” he replied sarcastically.
“Right, well aside from that, I can also transfer thoughts that aren’t really what I am actually thinking.”
“So, you mean like pretend thoughts?” He asked confused. “Why would you want to do that?”
I looked at him nervously. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to the next part.
“Well, I didn’t know I was doing it at first. I just noticed that my Dad wasn’t able to hear my thoughts if I didn’t want him to. What I didn’t realize was that I was using a different part
of my brain to focus on an entirely different thought, but yet thinking of everything
all at the same time. After a while, I started to notice both.
I paused for a moment debating on whether or not to continue. Jacob still looked composed so I kept going.
“I finally worked up the nerve to tell dad about it one day, but of course he had picked up on it right from the start. He told me it was normal for talents of vampires to evolve and get
stronger over time, and since I’m half vampire he imagined that it would also
apply to me on some level. It wasn’t till just recently that it morphed into
I looked at him again and he raised one eyebrow at me. I looked out the window and sighed. I didn’t want to ruin a perfect afternoon by freaking him out.
“Keep going,” he said evenly, but I could hear the edge creeping into his voice. I took a deep breath and continued anyway. It wasn't like I'd be able to keep this a secret from him forever.
“Well, I found that if I thought hard enough on a certain thought, or something I wanted, I could transfer that to someone if I touched them….and then they would do whatever I was thinking.”
That did it. Jacob’s eyes flew wide open and he looked at me like he was having a hard time holding onto reality. Tremors rocked his body so hard I could feel the vibration across the car in my seat.
“What the-?!” he exploded. “Are you telling me you have mind control? That’s insane!”
I kept quiet trying to give him time to calm down. When his breathing slowed and his tone became more even he glanced at me from the corner of his eye.
“Does Edward know? Do you do that to me? “He asked sequentially, but as if it was one question.
“Yes, dad and Carlisle were the first to know. They had me practice it with both of them, but it is more a persuasion than control, unless I really concentrate.”
Jacob looked like he may relapse into hysterics so I hurried to get the next part out.
“You know how they are…the 'Doctor' and the 'Scholar?' They thought it was fascinating. Carlisle thinks I have a dual talent, which he has never seen before. My ability to block my thoughts acts as a
shield, but I can also use my gift as an offensive skill if I need to. And NO I
have never, and will never use it on you, I swear! I don’t use it on anyone in
our family…or any of our friends either. Besides, even if I was some kind of
mind control freak I’d get caught.” I explained.
“Oh really, how?” he huffed.
“ My dad would know. He’s the only one who can tell when I’m doing it. I can’t block my thoughts from him and transfer the fabricated ones at the same time. Anyway, it’s not that I’m not
allowed- more that I don’t want to do it. It’s kind of….freaky actually.”
I looked down at my hands ashamed. I had known about this for over a year, but was keeping it a secret. I didn’t want the people closest to me not to trust me. My family had their own powerful
talents so they took it in stride, but I was worried about how Jacob would
react. He took a deep breath and smiled half-heartedly.
“Well….I guess it isn’t that different than what Jasper does….and that’s not so bad. It's annoying, but not bad.” he surmised.
“True” I said relieved. “Except Jasper can use his gift from a distance and I have to actually touch someone. I can’t project like he can.”
“Whatever. Just don’t do it to me, okay?” he said seriously.
“Okay, I promise”
I could see our driveway up ahead and worked diligently on getting my head together. The twinge of nervousness crept back into my stomach as Jacob pulled in the garage and took the key out
of the ignition.
“Do you think they have anything to eat inside? I’m starving” Jacob said as he walked me to the door.
“Yes. I’m sure once mom and dad are finished with us there will be plenty of ‘dead meat’ to go around.” I joked.
“Nah, don’t worry. They have been angry at me for worse before. It’ll be okay,” he assured me.
His confidence didn’t help one bit. I put my shaking hand over the doorknob and walked inside to face our doom………