Jackson smiled a small smile down at me. I went back to staring into the dark in front of me, as I stared the house across from me turned off their last light.
“What are you doing here?” I asked blandly.
There was only silence, I looked up at him again when I got no response, and I could see his angelic face in the moonlight. As I looked up at him he sat down next to me, and stared down at the grass.
“Well, you kind of took off suddenly, and told me not to come after you, I didn’t know what to make of it and then...I came by earlier but I saw you sitting at a table with some other guy...I’ve been waiting around outside, I haven’t been able to sleep I keep finding myself walking back here...to you” he said, I had never heard him struggle to talk to me before.
I stared down at the grass; I could feel his eyes on my face.
“Some friends from Florida are here for the semester, they came over for dinner tonight just to, you know, say hi” I said “that guy, was my boyfriend from Florida, we were together for three years until I had to come here to Portland. He was crushed when I left. I think he thought that we could get back together now that he’s here, but you and I know it’s not that simple”
I sat there in silence pulling up chunks of grass in frustration, by the time Jackson spoke again my hand was spotted with blood where I had torn half a fingernail off.
“I know it’s hard for you Amy” he whispered “having to chose, but you should know, it’s hard for us too, we fear about what we’re going to do if you don’t pick us, it’s frightening thinking about a life without you...painful”
I closed my eyes, I could feel the tears slide down my cheeks and jumped up in frustration, Jackson stared up at me in surprised.
“You think that what your saying is making this any better for me!” I shouted “Any easier? It’s not! Your making it harder, more painful for me telling me all this! Now Jace is here and I have no idea what to do! It was hard enough dealing with you and Taylor, now I have Jace to worry about too. I hate this! I hate feeling this pressure!” I cried, tears streaming down my face “This pain. I wish everything could go back to how it was before I came here.”
I spun and ran inside, leaving Jackson alone on the moonlight, I ran up the stairs and collapsed into bed feeling empty and tried to let the darkness overcome me.
I woke up to a knock on my door; my mom lent her head around the door.
“Honey there’s breakfast for you on the table, you have to be at school in half an hour” she said.
I nodded and she smiled at me before shutting the door gently, I could hear her footsteps fade as she retreated further away from my door. I got out of bed and stared outside, the sun was shining dimly through the gray clouds. I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair, it hung long past my shoulders, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a short sleeve green shirt with my leather jacket thrown over the top, with a pair of black sandals. I walked out of my room my backpack over my shoulder into the kitchen; I dumped it at the bottom of the stairs and walked to the table where a small stack of blueberry pancakes were waiting for me. I sat down and began to eat the food, the pancakes were moist and sweet, they were delicious. Once I was finished I rushed out the door to my car, I chucked my backpack on the passenger seat and began the drive to school.
I drove into the parking lot and saw a familiar figure pacing backwards and forth outside the front of the school. Despite Jace making everything more complicated I didn’t realise how much I missed him. I got out of the car, he smiled as he saw me walking towards him, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Hey” he said as I neared him.
“Hey” I replied.
“You’re wearing my jacket” he said smiling.
I looked up at him.
“What?” I asked confused.
“I gave that to you before you came to Portland, so you would remember me” he said “guess it didn’t work to well”
I looked at the ground feeling ashamed.
“So...” he said as we both neared the school’s front door.
I looked up at him, I knew that tone, he was using his voice that he used when he wanted to ask something he knew I wouldn’t like.
“What?” I asked.
He wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“You dating anyone?” he asked.
I felt frustration build up inside me as we neared our first classroom, Jace managed to convince the school to let him be put in all my classes, well with his eyes what would you expect.
“Well, I was dating two guys at once and then I realised what a horrible thing I was doing and stopped it but...I don’t know, it’s complicated” I whispered.
He didn’t reply. I stared at him as we walked to class, his sharp jaw line, curling lashed that girls would die for, the way his blond hair curled at his temple, the way his jacket showed the muscles in his arms, I could remember having those arms around me when I was in Florida.
“You’re staring at me, why are you staring at me?” he asked.
Luckily we had reached our class, and I didn’t have to answer. We sat together at the back of the classroom. The teacher began to talk immediately so we had no time to chat. Throughout the class I was distracted by the two girls in front of us who kept turning back and giggling, and whispering to each other. I knew the look on their faces, it was the look girls had when they thought someone was cute, and they were looking at Jace, surprisingly jealousy boiled up inside me. I shouldn’t care but I did. The bell rang then and the girls in front packed slowly, probably to try and stay near Jace.
“Those girls were staring at you” I said as we packed up.
He looked up at me and then to the girls.
“Of course they were I’m stunningly attractive” he said and winked at them as they looked back at us. They giggled and turned back to the front.
“Haven’t you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?” I asked as we stood up.
“Only from ugly people” he replied as he tucked his chair in “Do you want them to stop”
I couldn’t help but nod.
“Okay” he said.
As I looked up he cupped my face in his hands and gently pressed his lips to mine. I heard the giggling in front stop, and he pulled away. I turned to see the girls’ storm out of the classroom; he dropped his hands and smiled.
“See they stopped” he said, I looked at him he was smiling.
He walked past me and towards the door, he turned when he realised I wasn’t following.
“You coming?” he asked sharply.
I jumped and nodded and rushed after him out the door. As Jace and I walked to the cafeteria laughing and talking, Jackson walked past us with Ashley, they both looked at me when they passed, Jackson looked hurt and Ashley looked confused. I tried to ignore it and keep walking; I would deal with hard things later right now I should try to make Jace’s first day fun. We continued to walk towards the cafeteria, leaving my troubles behind.