I'm writing a book about Vampires and Werewolfs(nothing at all like Twilight)..Tell Me What you Think??

chapter 10
The Bite
The Bite is a little shack deep in the woods,away from humans and police."what do you think?"he asked "well it's a little rough around the edges."i said"well it's a place WE can come,have a few drinks and,hang out with other vamps."he commented.well thats good."shall we."he said and waved his hand toward the bar.when we walked his family met us."jermey what took you so long,she is about to go on?"his mother figure asked."well it took her some convinceing to get her to come."he responded then see a i was there."oh,this is her jermey she is very pretty especially for a human,and she really doesn't smell of blood acually she smells a bit of cinnamon."she said "thats my perfume."i responded"well here let me introduce you to the rest of the family,this is dominick,and that is amber."she pointed to a blond girl at the bar talking to the bartender."heather we'll be on...now."and sure a enough out walked a black haired small built girl then she started singing a beautiful soulfull song."would you like to dance,brooke."he wasn't going to take no for an answer he once again pulled me in his big arms for the second time to night,"i mesmerize you don't i"he asked."let me catch my breath."i said and he laughted."i wish i had this effect on vampire girls,i would have had a girl by now,but then i wouldn't have met you and that would have been a mistake.""why did you chose me?"i asked"if you didn't notice you are unique i've never met any girl like you human or vampire,when i first saw you in that clearing i knew i had to be with you no treaty could stop that."he told me i didn't know i thought i was just a normal girl."your sister is good."i comnted when the song was over then a upbeat rock song started."come on she wants to met you she beged me to bring you here tonight."wow no one has ever wanted to met me before."heather this is brooke."he introduced me again."hi,wow you are really pretty and you smell good too."i got complemented again on my perfume."so i've hurd,you're really good how did you learn?"i asked "i thaugt myself well radio helped,come on lets go to the bar."she grabed my arm and pulled me there."amber this is her,brooke."she turned and looked at me."this is her,jermeys love?"she asked "yea, isn't she pretty?"mmm,yea."can i get you something?"the bartender directed his qustion to me."no thats ok." "well let me know."he smiled."you ready."jermey asked me.
chapter 11
busted
when we made it back to my house i relized"how do you expect me to get inside without wakeing up my parents?"i asked "do you want to try the window agian?"NO!"he laughted"ok,ok no more windows i promise." he said holding up both hands palm up." your not the only one who is strong i'll climb the tree into the window." i grabed the first branch and lifted myself up and kept climbing into the window. then jermey just grabed one branch and yanked himself onto the ledge of my house and into my window,it was amazing. "wow" i mumbeled under my breth. "that was so much fun,but what is up with amber." "she resents you." "why?" i will tell you tomarow it is a long story you need to sleep." "ok,i am a little sleepy."i yawned."oh i forgot i will be home alone tomarow,mom and dad's going on there second honeymoon tomarow and will be gone for a whole week." i rememberd. "do you want me to stay and protect you?" he offered. "your not even suppsed to be here right now." "oh yea." well i guess i will change."i went into the bathroom and changed."can i try something before i go."i was confused. "ok." he leaned in and kissed me i was completly out of breath, i gasped.he pulled back and said."i will see you tomarow then."then he leaped out my window and was gone.

" we're leaving now don't forget to feed the fish." "ok i love you,have fun see you in a week." i went back in the house and realized it was a mess so i changed my colthes and cranked my ipod and just got into the music. Before i knew it time was flying by and as the song started to change to ' I Hate Myself for Loving you" and i was danceing and singing then i truned around and Nick was standing right there.i took out my headphones "how long have you been standing there?" "long enough." "how long is long enough." "long enough to see you play the air guitar." he demonstrated by playing his own,"well thats embassing." "where are your parents?" "on there second honeymoon." "so you're alone?" "yea" "well i need to stay and protect you." he was honast. yea a huge snarling warewolf needs protecton. "i was coming over to ask if you wanted to go out,but i guess we can stay here." "well there's not much to do here,we can watch a movie pick one and i'll pop some popcorn."i said as i motioned to the stack of dvd's beside the tv.i went into the kitchen and put two bags popcorn in the microwave and set the time,then went back into the living room."so what are we watching." "twilight." "isn't that the one about the vampire and the warewolf?" "yep" "hum,sounds intresting." "oh no the popcorn!" i ran to the kitchen and yanked the mircowave door open and pulled both bags out just in time. "so vampire movie." he pressed play on the remote and i turned out the light then setled on the couch next to him the summit sign appeared and the movie started

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this is good. but it has alot of twilight related things in it. the only thing i would have to say about it was that it was kinda hrd to follow the characters but i got it after a while. i just dont get one part. is the p.o.v. a human or a werewolf? email me when you can answer
it is from a ware wolfs p.o.v her name is brooke.

Delica Black said:
this is good. but it has alot of twilight related things in it. the only thing i would have to say about it was that it was kinda hrd to follow the characters but i got it after a while. i just dont get one part. is the p.o.v. a human or a werewolf? email me when you can answer

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