Chapter 1- La Change.
It was Sunday morning. Urg.. As if I wasn’t in a bad mood anyway, I mean I am 16 now, everyday waking up in the same room of the same house, in the same street of the same town, I’ve been here for 16 years now, I want to do things with my life not stay in the little town of Ammanford that nobody knows that nobody has never heard of.
I went down stairs to spend my lazy Sunday in my pyjamas in front of the television like always. But my mum was standing waiting for me. She had changed her clothes, she is always in her pyjamas too. She looked different, she was wearing black trousers with a black long sleeved t-shirt with a gray long top over her black t-shirt she had make up on, her eyes looked she had had them done by a professional her was down, that was a change she always has her hair in a pony-tail I never really realized how long I was, its was past her shoulders and dead straight with her side fringe just cutting off above her right eye. She was in an unfamiliar happy mood, I was still half asleep, my eyes were still half closed, she sat me down on the sofa closest to the television, my sofa, it was warm, as if someone had been sat on it for hours, that was weird, leather is never warm, especially not my sofa, my mother was standing over me, it was like a little ant looking up at a big sky scraper. The room was fairly light, it was sunny outside, what a change, but I couldn’t see, as my mother was leaning over me, I pulled my eyebrows closer together ,my face was in a pout. She was smiling, not the usual morning hello, she was looking like a Cheshire Cat.
“Morning mum, are you OK?” I asked with my eyes wide open now
“Morning Darling, I’m fine thank you, are OK hunny?” She asked back
“Erm.. Yeah I suppose, you look like you have something to say?” I asked
She hesitated. “Well how…” She paused. “Mam, what’s up? What is on your mind?” I wondered asking her.
She knows I don’t like waiting for anything, I am a very impatient person.
“How would you feel about moving?” She drew a big smile across her face, she realizes I always moan about the same place all of time. I know I always moan but when I comes down to it, I love this place, I love the quiet, I hate busy places, I like places I am familiar that I know, places where I’m known, somewhere I am myself and everyone loves me for, a place that iv lived in for all my life and thought that I would always be in. I though about a lot of things about what I love about Ammanford and all of my friends and my family I was thinking of so much at the same time, and my head kept on filling and filling of all different reasons to stay and go while I was thinking about all of this I forgot my mother was there I forgot why I was thinking about all of this, and I didn’t have a clue of how my facial expression was.
“Kimberley, Kimbers, Kim, are you ok love?” Someone’s low pitched voice entered my head, kept on talking, and talking and drove me out of my thoughts,
“Kim, are you there?” The same low pitched voice mocked me.
“Ye…Yes.. Yeah.. I’m here” I answered back as quick as I could, although it was probably a long time.
“So… What do you think?” The low pitched voice asked, I was still in a daydream so I couldn’t see, my vision wasn’t there, it had been taken away.
“About what?” I Asked.
The low pitched voice made a long sigh. Then all I could see was a bright light, it kept coming and going, coming and then going again. Then I blinked a few times and shook my head. I felt like I was in a movie, I could see, my vision was perfect it felt like I had never been able to see before, the low pitched voice was my father, he had an usual smile on his face too. The light that kept coming and going was my dads hand waving over my face, and when his hand when down the sun shone in my face, I closed my eyes again, this time in pain from my eyes being nearly blinded. Another tower stood over me then I could see again. I was happy now. This tower was my dad standing, blocking the sun out of my face.
“What do you think about moving love?” My dad asked
“Well mum, dad, I know I always moan about this house and this small town but I love this house and I love my friends and I love being around my family and I love how quiet this street is and” My father cut me of.
“Kim love don’t worry the place we’ve picked is really quiet, it is far away but the house we’ve picked is perfect too. We know you love your friends and they can visit anytime you want, the house is huge Kim darling, your going to love it and I know you always go and see Mam June on Thursdays. But Kimberley darling we’ve put everything in perspective for you and just trust us, you are going to love this place. This is your chance for a new life, your chance to make something of yourself”
I stopped him “Wow wow, wow hold on now. You think I need a new life? Well I don’t I love this place. And I you think I am nobody that I need to make something of myself?”
“Kimberley darling you know none of us think that..” My mother said sitting next to me on the sofa.
I stopped for a minute and thought how ungrateful I was sounding, I mean, everyday I get up and curse this house and say I need to go somewhere and I need to be someone. I had a chance to calm down. I stood on my feet, and leaned on the mantle piece and looked outside, my back was facing my parents. I turned around to face my parents.
“So I will love this place huh?”
They both looked at each other and smiled, my mum even let out a little giggle and stood up and started comforting me.
After warming up to the idea I couldn’t help but love listening to my new home, I asked so many questions and my parents didn’t seem to get bored or to not want to talk about the new house
“How many rooms are in the house?” I asked
“Five” my mum answered and with her bright white teeth gleaming, the sun was bouncing of her teeth and it to my eyes. I put my hand in front of my eyes to cover the blinding bright light.
“WOW! Really, but we only need two rooms, one for me and one for you two to share”
“I know” said my dad. “but the house is so perfect we couldn’t let it slip out of hands babe” said my dad.
“Have you met our new neighbours?” I mentioned
“Well our house is detached, its on its own, but the house closest to us is on the left and down the road a bit too, but there is a man living there his name is Billy. He is a really nice person, he’s got long dark hair, iv only seen him a few times, but every time I have come across him he has been very welcoming.
“aww lovely I said, does he have a wife or anything?” I asked curiously
“thinking about that Kim love I have never seen anyone else with him”
“Oh no, maybe he will be grateful for our company isn’t it.” I said happily
My mum and father smiled. So it was official. We were moving house.
I looked around the living room remembering all of the good times I have had,
‘16 years I thought to myself, 16 years I kept repeating to myself, and now I will never live in this house again. I couldn’t believe I was actually moving, actually doing something with my life. I looked at the fire place, hot it kept me on a cold winters day, and I remember how I used to come out of the bath, with a towel wrapped around me and I was freezing cold watching the television with the fire open and the heat bouncing on my side, It was the best feeling you could have, I love the heat, how the warmth comforting me it reminded me of the hot steaming sun that you get when you are sitting on a beach abroad with the sun heating your skin. Then I looked at my sofa, not so many good memories I can remember as all I used to do was sit there on Sunday and some holidays in my pyjamas watching the television I can remember how comfy it made me feel, in my own comfort. I remember nobody could make me feel awkward, how everything was just like comfy pillows a room of cushion like sitting in a padded cell of a mental institution everything is clear and white and soft. Then I looked out the window, I seen the children that live on the street just running around the pavement with not a care in the world, they were around 5, 6 and 7 I wish I could still be like that, although I am happy to say that iv actually got a chance to move on. To actually do something with my life to make new friends and to see some other part of the world.
Then I went into the kitchen, I remember running around the kitchen as a child when my mother was in the cooking, always getting under her feet always in her way, and the smell.. Anything she cooked always smelt good, smelt like it was supposed to be that way. I walked into the other dining room there were not much memories of my family there, all of these memories were of me my friends. All of us, just sitting down and chatting having a good proper talk, always laughing we were, on that table always smiling, there were hardly ever a bad memory there. Then suddenly it struck me, a huge pain in my throat, not really pain, just a lump it was stuck there, I could breath but I couldn’t as well, I was choking, but not dying just a pain, just memories that I know I am defiantly going to miss, how could I do this? How could I move? How could I leave everyone I love? All of my memories, all of my good times. Something caught my eye something rolling past the window, well it was actually someone, in a wheelchair, I ran to the window, thanking who ever this person was in my head for stopping my pain. I stared, my eyes straining through the nets, it was a man I couldn’t really see his face because he had long dark hair covering the side of his head, he was wearing a cowboy hat he reminded me of someone, then that also struck me I could remember my father explaining how out neighbour looked how he described Billy.
The I heard someone shout, it was my father, he shouted my name twice, not with range, he shouted it like he had another surprise, I hope this one wouldn’t be so intriguing and out of the blue. He was up stair though so I slowly walked up the stairs, one by one walking up the fourteen steps that I had to walk up and down at least five times a day. Then I remembered one single day. One of the most clearest memories. It was Christmas morning, it wasn’t like a Christmas you see on television, it wasn’t white and bright or covered in snow. It was just like any other day I woke up normal time which was good for me, I quickly ran into my brothers room to wake him up, he was always sleeping late his room was always dark and cold, his curtains were always closed and his window was always open. He stood tall, about 6 foot 2, dark hair and blue eyes iv always said he was a good looking boy and he has the best personality iv known for a boy, well man to be honest he turned nineteen four days before Christmas day. But this was Christmas day so I pulled the blankets off my brother and shouted in his year
“It’s Christmas day, quick get out of bed” I shouted in excitedly.
This was years ago though, this memory was when I was only about five years old and Christopher was about 9. My mother and father had bought him bought him a ‘Go Kart’ and he took the ‘Go Kart’ out of the giant box it came with and ran to the top of the stars with the box in one hand and me in the other, he climbed in the box and then put me in behind him, and he leaned forward once and we both bumped down the stairs in the box every step with a bump. My mum had spend a load of money on a ‘Go Kart’ and he would have rather played in a giant box that my mum could have had for free box.
I heard a clicking noise repeating all of the time in my face
‘Click click click’
It was my father, as I was remembering that clear memory I had already walked up all fourteen steps and I was already in front of my father.
“Do you want to start packing babe? Iv put a couple of boxes in your room already”
“Wh…Wha..What? Dad, when are we actually leaving?”
“Someday next week babe, but just pack the things you wont need until we leave”
“Next week? No… I… I cant dad, there is everyone to say goodbye to things to do I need more time than that”
“Babe don’t worry, you have plenty of time, its only Sunday, not next week, the week after” My dad reassured me. I was still wary
I walked into my room, everything pink, my favourite colour, the first thing that caught my eye was all of my pictures taken of my friends and me. As I studied every single picture stuck to wall I could remember the time and place, for example the picture of me and Briony, she is my best friend and my next door neighbour we have a picture together which is the most eye-catching as it was the time we were about to go to a fancy dress party so we were both wearing very bright coloured dresses, I was wearing pink, obviously, and Briony was wearing a bright baby blue colour. And then there was the one not long ago on my 16th birthday there was a picture of everyone that came starting from left to right there was Catrin Lewis, she was around 5 ft 4, dark brown short hair and dark brown eyes with a kind of tanned skin, not like she’s born with it but as if she had a fake bake but it was really nice, then there was Kayliegh Thomas-Harries, she was one of the girls I hang around with the most, one of the funny girls she had big dark brown eyes, they were beautiful the prettiest eyes I have ever seen, although I never tell her because she will only brag about it for hours days on end. She had naturally brown hair but she dyed it blonde and it suits her a lot although she had dark eyebrows it looked very nice, then behind Kayleigh there was Darren Warnes, he is one of my best boy-friends, I can tell him anything, and he would never betray me, he was a very sporty person, he loves playing for his teams in rugby and football in the photo he had his thumb up and his smile as wide as it could be and although I was in a daydream I couldn’t help laughing at how lovely he is. Then next to Kayleigh and Darren there was Briony Cutler the most prettiest girl iv ever met, she has lovely natural blonde hair with blue eyes, she’s very sporty and she has a few horses she loves riding and also helping to teach how to ride them Behind Briony was Sean, Sean is more one of my brothers friend than mine so I was really grateful he can to my birthday seeing as my brother couldn’t. Sean is very tall, taller than my brother he is around 6 ft 5 compared to me he a giant as I am only 5 ft 2 or something like that. Sean wore glasses and he was very skinny, I always wondered why because he doesn’t do sport at all, he just loves being on his computer and he loves playing his PlayStation 3. Then next to Sean and Briony stood Jessica Wooly. She is one of my best friends one of the girls that I hang around with everyday at school and also on weekend she was not much taller than me she was a girly girl like me, she loved pink, but now she is starting to develop a different style of blacks and dark colours, no matter what she likes, she will still be my best friends and I will phone her everyday after I move I know I will. Suddenly I felt something wet, it was a tear I was crying I loved my friends all of them and I would miss them all so much. Behind Jessica was my friend Daniel Richards, he was also tall, al of my boy-friends were tall, and next to me they were even taller. Daniel wasn’t a sporty person at all, he didn’t mind going out, like walking down the shop or hanging around with his mates outside but he didn’t like playing in sports or anything like that. Next to Jess and Dan was Cory Thomas-Harries, he is Kayleigh’s sister Cory was short, he had dark hair and blue eyes too. He was defiantly my best boy-friend. Then standing right in the front, short, dark hair, bright blue eyes, wearing a whit vest with a white cardigan and blue jeans and big round flashing birthday badge was me, in the front covered around all of my friends and that’s the way I loved it and I wanted it to be, forever surrounded in people that I love and love me, I didn’t even want to think of how I could even begin to say goodbye, there it was again a weird feeling like a lump in my throat and sharp could wet teardrops trickling down my face I was crying this time the lump was painful I couldn’t breathe and I let out a big gush of wind and flumped on the floor I lay down and that’s how I wanted to stay, the photo came off the wall and landed on the floor right next to me, I thought ’This is stupid, it cant be true, it just like something set-up in a movie’ I gripped hold of the picture and held it tight, even though I was there, with the picture and in my comfort room on the soft baby pink carpet I could help thinking, ‘What is this going to help with? I mean I could stay here for days but sooner or later I’m going to have to move sooner or later right?’
Somehow I told my self to get a grip, get up and start getting ready and looking forward for the beginning of my new life I remembered my dad and mom talking about how great it was and how I would love it and I was willing to move on, for the time being.
Even though I knew it was around two weeks since I was leaving I thought I should start spending time with my friends, even though they will visit me and I will visit them, it still wont be the same, so I started with Kayleigh as she only lives across the road to me I thought Id spend time with her and that she would be one of the hardest goodbyes I spent the whole of Monday with her, we did loads of fun things, we went to the park, had McDonalds for food, we also sat by the river for a couple of hours it was beautiful, the lovely colours of the plants, the green grass, the lovely colours of the hundreds different type of flowers and the sun bouncing off the swiftly flowing river that had the perfect colour of blue shining off, it was a lovely day the sun was beaming, we hardly ever get days like this, after our beautiful picnic by the river, out of nowhere I decided to jump into the river. I got up and Kayleigh looked at me confused
“Your not going already are you?” she asked sadly
“Of course not, silly” I laughed
“Well what are you doing?” she asked confused
I took three big strides back, the biggest steps iv ever taken then I ran as fast as I could booming down the little hill and I took a huge leap into the air and jumped off the bank and landed in the river with the huge splash. It was freezing, there was no way I could escape the cold water now. It was everywhere now the water was surrounding me, I was in to much of a shock to look at Kayleigh to see her expression all though I couldn’t hear her and I though she would be rolling on the floor laughing her voice should have echoed the river way but it didn’t. I stared to worry, was she OK?
The only thing I could then hear was another splash, obviously not as big as mine, and then I heard her laugh, that sound comforted me, I couldn’t believe I wouldn’t hear that laugh anymore, but I weren’t going to upset myself, again, because Kayleigh didn’t know why I was spending time with her she just thought it was our normal routine, I wondered how she would take the news? I would have to tell her today sometime, but not just yet I didn’t want to ruin our day. We both had a good swim around, the water wasn’t so bad when I got used to it, it was nice and warm and all my thoughts just slipped away, I felt like this is one of them moments which is here and now and don’t think about anything else my head was empty with my thought and that’s the way I liked it to be.
At the end of the day we were outside my house, soaking wet, we had walked all the way home drenched, although it wasn’t too bad because the sun was still beaming so it was still kind of warm ‘I really enjoyed today’ I thought to myself
“I really enjoyed hanging round with you today” Kayleigh said
“I was thinking the exact same thing” I told her truthfully.
She giggled but she probably didn’t even believe me.
She started walking away, “Kayleigh” I called, she turned to face me,
“I have something to say” I said but I was facing the floor.
“Yes.. Go ahead” she replied
“Well I don’t want to ruin our day because iv had a lot of fun, but, the thing is……” I couldn’t say it
“Yes, The thing is what?” she called
“I’m moving house” I sighed and looked at her face, searching for an expression nothing on her face changed, I wish something would change, but nothing
She breathed in, not too dramatically but she was shocked
“Wh…When? Wh..Where too? Ho..How long have you got? Do you have to go? Please… Don’t go, you, you, you cant leave me Kim” She sounded quite upset
I answered her questions straight as she asked
“Iv got about two weeks, Actually I don’t know where I am going yet, but my father said it was far away, Yes I must go. I just want you to know, you are one of my best friends, I know you weren’t straight away as soon as you moved here, but since I got to know you, you have been a really good friend, sometimes you can have your childish moments and most of the time you really do get on my nerves” I laughed and so did she, “but I really do love you, you have been a really good friend” I chocked out at the end
“I love you too” she weaned, we both had a cry and I said “I will still be here for two weeks so we have plenty of time” She nodded her head.
We both turned into different directions both still crying.
“Oh Kayl, One favour I need to ask you” I asked trying to force a smile
“Anything” She said back.
“Don’t tell anyone else, I want to tell them OK?” I asked
“OK” She forced a smile too
“Bye bye” She said
“Only for now” I smiled and we both let one quiet laugh out and went in our houses.
As I walked in to my house I could only think of one thing ‘If that was hard, what will it be like telling Briony, iv known Kayleigh for 5 years tops, and iv know Briony all of my life, for 16 years’ I didn’t want to think about this but I was trying to prepare for what will come when I tell her.
I went in my house, I stripped off all of my clothes and put a towel around me while I waited for the bath to run, I made sure I had more hot water than cold because by now I was absolutely freezing, I felt like a block of ice, I looked around my bathroom and found a bottle of ’Radox’ the lovely moisturising creamed bubble bath, I tipped half a bottle in the bath, and then watched the bubbles appear getting higher and higher, almost overflowing, then I turned the bath off and jumped in.
After a lovely boiling hot soak in the bath, I looked in my wardrobe for something to wear, all I could see was just the plain simple things that I am used to wearing this made me smile because I wouldn’t be feeling like this anymore, its my new chance to do something nice, I picked out two just simple tops and a pair of jeans, I put on a black long sleeved t-shirt, almost the same and my mothers, and I put over a long silver cardigan over it, I put the jeans on and looked in the mirror, something wasn’t right, I went back into my room and put on a black pair of trousers instead, then I went back and looked in the mirror, I looked nice, but not perfect ’ah ha’ I said in my head, ‘I know‘, I went back into my room and opened my draw it was full of silver jewellery that my friends had bought me over the years, and iv never worn them, so I picked out the most the eye catching necklace and bracelet and earrings and put then on, and in, I looked in the mirror and I was perfect, for one of the first times in my life, I felt pretty, I felt perfect, then I walked down stairs slowly, wondering what reaction my mother and father would give me, I said “Hi” trying to catch their attention, they were working on something, about our new house. They didn’t look but they said “Hi” back I cleared my throat “uh hum” they both looked, my fathers eyes widened, and my mother stood up off the floor and also opened her eyes
“You look beautiful” My mother said
“Why are you dressed so lovely?” my father asked
“Thanks mum, and I am going to hang out with Briony, you know, to say goodbye” I said cautiously
“But hunny you don’t have to change your style or change yourself, everyone loves you for who you are” my father told me in confidence.
“Thanks dad, but I just feel like a change” I replied back. My mum and dad just stood there smiling. I sat on the sofa because I had a few hours until I went out with Briony, so I asked my mum and dad. “So what is the new place like?” I asked smiling.
After about an hour of letting them brag up my new house to be I forgot one question which was very important
“So dad, you said its far away, where is it?”
He looked at my mum with a wary look at looked back at me and dropped his smile.
“Come on dad it can be that I bad” I said looking around with an uncomfortable look on face, probably matching my fathers look. He took in a deep breath and let out a deep sigh.
“Just keep an open mind OK”
“OK OK OK… Tell me!.” I was eager to know a lot of things, is it hot there? Or will it be rain all the time like Wales? Will we still even be in Wales? Will we still even be in the UK. I wanted to know everything straight away.
My father let out an uncomfortable sigh, I started to get impatient,
“Dad” I moaned, “Where is it for crying out loud” I was so anxious it was unbelievable
“Its in Washington in its on the borderline a small town called Forks, Its called La push.”