32.I Expect ALOT Of Reward Sex For This

Edward's POV

"I can't begin to say how sorry I am about everything that happened the other day." I began, staring at her with sad eyes "Some how...an apology just won't cut it. Everything that could have went wrong did, and I'm so so sorry about that. It actually pains me to look at you right now, because I know it's all my fault." She just stared back at me as I continued with my apology "I just...wish I could turn back time and prevent what happened from happening. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for what happened..."

"Edward..." Bella said, her arms crossed over her chest as she gave me an amused smirk "Stop talking to the car."

"Bella!" I exclaimed, turning away from my beat up Volvo to look at my girlfriend "Don't call Claudia a...car! She'll hear you!"

"Oh in the name of..." Bella muttered, her hand flying to her forehead.

It had been 4 days since my Grandmother's funeral, and let me tell you something. Those four days had been the hardest of my life. Every morning I would wake up early and head down to the garage, hoping that the sight of my Grandmother's coffin sticking out of my car's window had all been a bad dream...but it wasn't. Every time I looked at her my breathing became ragged. The whole right side of my precious Volvo was dented, the windows smashed. She looked like she had just come back from a drag race gone wrong!

Stepping back to stand next to Bella, I winced at the sight. She looked even worse from a distance.

"Ugh..." I whined, my arms flapping a little "This is a disaster!"

"Oh Edward, stop being a baby." Bella chuckled a little "If it weren't for the fact that I have the ever growing bump and you have a penis, people would think you're the one who was pregnant with all the whining you do. It's not as bad as it looks. I promise."

"Not as bad as it looks!?" I exclaimed, marching over to the car "Exhibit A, Bella."

I grabbed the handle and opened the car, only to have my battered door come clean away from the car! Holy hell, all I thought it would do is creak a little. Maybe stick, but not fall off! Ugh, this is just another thing that my parents were going to go ape s*** at. Obviously Dad didn't take to kindly to the fact that his mother decided to make a break from her own funeral at about 50 miles per hour, but thankfully the hearse driver got more blame than me, so that was a plus. My Grandpa Jim found the whole thing quite amusing, until I told him to fork up the money to pay for my car.

"Wow." Bella said with a shocked expression "How fast was she travelin' down that hill to take a door off!?"

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. Not only was my car completely ruined, but I had to call in the help of someone that I really didn't want to see...Jacob Black. Now, I don't like the guy, but when it came down to cars, the boy knew his s***.

"So what you gonna do?" Bella asked walking up to me, running her hand up and down my arm in a comforting manner.

"Jake's coming down." I informed "Called him last night when you were sleeping."

I was expecting her to jump for joy, clap her hands. Basically do the whole 'Alice Routine'...but instead, Bella's hand fell from my arm, hanging limply at her side as she stared at me with wide eyes. What colour she had in her cheeks quickly vanished, and if it wasn't the rapid rising and falling of her chest, I would have thought she had actually died of fright. I'd be screwed then. 2 people in under two weeks.

"Uh...Bella...Babe..." I began with a slight smirk "You...you alright?"

"Jake?" She questioned, turning to look at me "As in Jacob...as in Jacob Black...as in Jacob Black from La Push? THAT JACOB!?"

"How many Jacob's do you know?" I asked, a little amused.

I was about to laugh at her expression, but was cut short when she grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me down to eye level, our foreheads touching.

"Call him!" She screeched "Call him, and tell him he can't come over...Tell him you'll fix the car!"

"Bella...could you please...let go of my nipples and tell me what the hell is going on?" I winced, slowly pulling away from her.

Hey, she's small, but she's strong with sharp nails.

"I thought you of all people would be happy to see Jake!" I said, slightly concerned now "Why don't you want him coming over?"

"Ok..." She sighed "Don't get mad...but there is an ever so small, tiny, iddy biddy, baby chance that Jacob doesn't really know about...the baby yet."

She gave a sheepish smile, and all I could do was give her a questioning look.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" I asked with a slight chuckle.

"Because I haven't told him yet." She replied quietly.

"Excuse me, what now?" I asked, not sure if I caught her "Did you just say that you hadn't quite told him yet?"


I knew it! I knew it! I knew there was some weird reason that I was still alive! How could I be so blind!? If Jacob had found out that I had knocked up one of his Best Friends, he would have dragged me out of the house, killed me and made it look like an accident! I ran my hands through my hair, giving a shaky sigh. Now I'm not frightened of a lot of people, and Jacob isn't one of them, but damn...that guy can punch! I learned that the hard way. Just to let all you guys know, never, and I repeat, never volunteer to let Jacob Black use you as an 'assistant' when showing someone self defense moves. I goes horribly wrong, and you end up in hospital with a concussion.

"Bella!" I finally cried "You're four months along! Did it ever occur to you that...hmmm...I don't know, maybe...YOU SHOULD TELL HIM!?"

"Would it help if I said 'Oops'?" She asked, trying to give a small smile, but I wasn't having it "Ok, Ok! I'm sorry! I was going to tell him...eventually...Why's it such a big deal?"

"Why's it such a big deal!?" I mimicked, only about ten times louder "It's a big deal because the guy can inflict pain by just looking at someone!"

"Hey!" Bella cut in, pointing at me "That was one time! How was Jake supposed to know that glaring at Tyler Crowley would result in him riding his bike down a hill and head first into a bee hive!?"

Ugh! Was I ever going to get this through to her. My mind was buzzing. What the hell are we supposed to do? I mean, it's none of Jake's business, but he has a right to know like everyone else.

"Whens he due to arrive?" Bella carried on, sighing slightly.

I glanced down at my watch.

"In about the next..." But I was cut off when the garage door knocked "Now."

Ok, time to suck it up. I need to show him that his freakishly large size and the fact that his fists are like basketballs don't bother me. I also can't be frightened that there is a very high chance that I could lose my nuts today. Who knew pregnancy could be so life threatening?


Bella's POV

I couldn't help but panic when Edward announced that Jacob was coming over. I mean, shouldn't he run these things by me!? Ok, probably not...and maybe I should have said something to the guy. Give him a little insight as to what was going on. Now I was being forced to tell him in the middle of a garage...In the middle of a garage that had a lot of sharp pointy tools. Ok, just keep calm Bella. Just tell him the second he walks through that door. Like ripping off a band aid...although those SOB's hurt like hell. Don't worry. He would never hurt you. You're his friend, and you're pregnant! But poor Edward can't use either of those excuses. Oh my gosh, it's like telling Charlie all over again.

"You tell him!" I practically begged my boyfriend, hoping that he would be my knight in shining armour and come to the rescue.

"And have him rip my balls from me!?" He exclaimed "No thank you. I quite like that region, and would love it even more if it didn't become permanently detached!"

Ugh, so much for my knight! Edward walked closer to the garage door, me following close behind in an attempt to stop him.

"But you did this to me!" I whined, pointing to my bump.

I wonder how many times I can use this excuse against him?

"Which means my three minutes are up!" Edward replied smugly, crossing his arms over his chest "Bells, I told Charlie, my parents and my Grandmother..."

"But I didn't ask you to tell her!" I said wide eyed, my hands flying to my hips "You owe me for that one."

The nervous look that crossed Edward's face was enough to tell me that he knew I was right. Ha! I had him! Gulping a little, he turned completely to face me, running his fingers through his hair. He's been doing that a lot today. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, trying hard to fight back a smirk that was threatening to show itself. I almost jumped for joy when I heard that familiar sigh of defeat.

"I expect a lot of reward sex for this." He muttered.

I just chuckled, walking closely behind Edward as he made his way to the garage door, but suddenly came to a stop when he quickly turned back to face me.

"Just do me a favour before you hand me my death sentence..." He began "...Hide."


Edward's POV

I quickly ushered Bella out of the garage and into the kitchen before letting Jacob in. Holy Crap, he's bigger than I remembered! This whole situation has gotten 'Wrong' written all over it. I can just picture how this day will end. Jacob in handcuffs, and me in a body bag. The minute Jacob's eyes landed on my precious Volvo, he burst out laughing, causing all the fear that had been building up to fade and be replaced by anger. Why does everyone always laugh when they see my car!

"So what exactly happened?" Jake asked with a smirk, nudging the bumper with his foot, only to have it fall to the floor with a clang.

"Stupid Grandmother tried to make a run for it at her own funeral." I muttered, clenching my fists when he laughed once more "Is she fixable?"

"Dude..." Jacob began, looking up from the car "With the amount of cars that you've ruined and I've had to fix, this should be easy...but it's going to take a while."

"How long is 'a while'?" I asked, a little alarmed now.

"...'Bout a month...two tops."

"Two months!?" I exclaimed "I'll have no car for two months!? That's b*******!"

"Well next time if you put the breaks on Granny you might not have this problem." He shot back "Plus, I'd give you a car during that time. Help you out a little."

"Why would you help me out?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the desk that sat against the wall "You hate me and it's no secret. Does it have anything to do with the fact that I'm dating our best friend?"

"Dude, you need to let this go." Jacob sighed "Nothings going to happen. She chose who she wanted. End of story."

It went silent for a while as Jacob looked round the car, eventually checking the engine. Sighing, I figured that now would be the best time to tell Jake the news about Bella and the baby. I just wanted to get it over and done with so we could move right past the 'screaming at me' part to the 'I'm going to f****** kill you' part. Nervously, I stood up from the desk, slowly making my way over to Jake who was humming happily.

"Hey Jake..." I began quietly.

"Yeah?" He replied, never looking up from the engine.

"What would you do if I told you one of our friends was...pregnant?" I began, causing him to look up "Would you get mad at the guy who did it to her?"

"Depends on what friend..." He replied slowly, standing up straighter until he was towering over me "Why? Who's pregnant?"

Tell him...Just get it over with...

"Promise you won't get mad?" I asked.

"I promise."

"Ok...Here it goes..."


Bella's POV

I sat in the kitchen with a glass against the door that led to the garage, hoping to hear every word that was spoken, but of course I could hear nothing. Groaning in frustration I sat the glass down, crossing my arms over my chest as I waited and waited. He should have told him by now. What the hell was taking him so long? I was just about to give up all hope of Edward actually breaking the news to Jacob until I heard a loud crash. Bingo! He's told him...which mean's I should probably get in there and save his ass...Should I be frightened?

Quickly finding my feet, I burst through the door, my eyes going wide at what I saw. No Effing Way! There, lying in the middle of the floor, was not Edward...but Jacob, passed out with an even more shocked looking Edward standing mere feet away.

"I swear I didn't hit him!" Edward quickly defended "I told him about the baby and instead of hitting me...he just...fell! I blinked and he was down! I didn't even have enough time to shout 'Timber!'."

A little shocked, I rushed over to Jacob's side, kneeling down next to him as did Edward.

"Jake..." I said, brushing his long hair out of his face "C'mon Jake, time to get up."

I jumped when his eyes flew opened, but instead of sitting up like I thought he would, he lunged at Edward, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pinning him to the floor. Now that's the reaction I was looking for!

"You promised you wouldn't get mad!" Edward cried, his voice about 8 octaves higher.

"You have three seconds to tell me why I shouldn't kill you!" Jacob fumed.

"Ok...One, you'd go to jail...two, it would hurt...and three...You should do the Christian thing!" Edward replied in a shaky voice.

"I'm Jewish." Jacob stated sternly.

Ok, I've had enough of this.

"That's it!" I roared, causing both boys to look up at me in shock horror, Jacob quickly getting off of Edward "I've had it with you two constantly fighting and arguing. Yes Jacob, I'm pregnant and Edward is the Dad. Deal with it. And Edward it would be nice every once in a while, if you would act like a man and not a child! And-..."

But I was cut off, my hand flying to my stomach, causing both boys to rush to my side quickly, Edward wrapping an arm around me.

"Are you Ok?" He asked, even more panicked than he was at the funeral "What's wrong Bells!?"

"The baby..." I said, a large smile splaying across my face "The baby...it's kicking for the first time!"

At the news, both Jacob and Edward's hands flew to my stomach, Edward slapping Jacob's away a little. I laughed a little when I felt the baby kick again, Edward joining in. This was the most amazing feeling ever. Looking at Edward, who had a smile bigger than the Cheshire Cat's, I couldn't help but feel tears form. This was probably the best moment of my life. Laughing slightly, Pulled Edward in for a kiss.

"That's our baby." He whispered, kissing me once again.

"Yeah..." I whispered back, placing my hand over his as my bump nudged under them once again "Our baby."

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loved it :)
loved it :)

you should become a proffesional. seriouslyy!
This is sooooooooo amazing i mean u culd make sooo much money for this story its dat awesome plz plz plz plz make MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need more!!!!!!!!!!
awww little baba :)
loving it more and more this story
i love this story so much!!!....keep writing!!!
These r really good!!!!!! I have read them all! U r very talented!
I started reading this yesterday and finally caught up with everyone else.
This story is AMAZING! and probably the funniest thing i have ever read.
Please continue, this is terrific!

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