His name is Randyl. He and I were best of friends. Nothing seemed to be wrong… We laughed and joked till we were blue in the face. How we met? We met randomly actually…I um…*shakes head and swallows back pain* I was going to commit suicide… And before hand I texted a bunch of random numbers… His being one.  But right before I commited the act… He texted back saying he didn’t want me to do such… A complete stranger… Tell me No? Him actually caring about me… Wow. I never felt anything like it.. So We talked and ended up becoming best friends…

After a while we confessed our ‘love’ for each other.. Don’t know if that was honest or not… But I was honest with him. I told him my fears my secrets my hates my everything and he accepts them all. I cried to him when he knows I hate crying it’s a form of weakness in my eyes…. I let my guard down around him, and for once it felt real and like I was whole. It was a change… For once I felt wanted and loved.

We got into a fight… After we started dating and this was month number 4 of being a couple but 13 months being frends. WE got into a HUGE fight. Everything we wanted to say about each other we did. He threw everything I said to him back in my face and I felt betrayed. I felt used and nothing in life mattered…

 

So in summary I trusted him. .. I laid down my guarded heart for him and he stabbed it… That’s why I have trust issues.

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