Hi. This is my story I would like to share with others. I hope in some way it will help others not to make the mistakes I made throughout my life. Since I was 12 years old I messed up my life. Why? All because I found out my father was not my biological father. I was adopted by my step father who was a great dad in every way. I made the big mistake of thinking I was not loved by my real dad and not wanted by him.
So at age 12 I rebelled against all who really loved me and ended up destroying my own life. I have been looking for my real dad all my life by way of every phone book I saw , social security offices and questioning my mom all the time only to get answers that couldn't help because she herself didn't know. I chose to only hurt myself because I felt abandoned.
I am now 27 years old and have nothing to show for my life at all . All because of a feeling that I was not loved. I became a drug addict to kill the pain of emptiness I felt . I had relationships with men who were physically abusive and was a terrible mother to my child due to drug usage.
I have been drug free for over 3 year's now and love myself finally. The happy ending to this story is that yesterday on Thanksgiving Day here I sat on the computer and I found my father!!!!!!! It took all the courage I, the insecure, totally self destructive little girl inside me had to pick up the phone and dial that phone number. But I did and what a surprise I got. The man I thought who had abandoned me and never loved me never even knew I existed!!!!!
I am now going to try and build a relationship with him through the mail and the phone. He lives in Idaho and I live in Florida so we can not personally meet due to expenses. He is 53 years old and not in the best of health and I can't afford to fly out there, so we will make the best of what we have and go from there.
I just wanted to share this story with those of you who feel unloved and abandoned. Please give life a chance and do not hurt yourselves because sometimes thing's are not as they seem. We only end up hurting ourselves and if nothing else, please learn to love yourselves.