"THE NEW LIFE"- my new Twilight fan-fiction (Please read and comment!)

Soo, the other day at school I was bored and I started writing this in my notebook. I wanted to show somebody and see what they think, and I thought of putting it here. It's Alice's story from when she "wakes up" as a vamp 'till her first vision of Jasper. It's not really good, my fan-fiction is never as good as my other stories because I already know what's going to happen, not like when the people in the story get lives of their own and... well, whatever, tell me what you think!

Chap.1:Awaking
I opened my eyes.
Instantly my mind was full of questions, and I felt strange. What had happened? Where was I? What time was it? What day, month, year? What had I done to get here? What had I done up till now with my life?
The questions popped put of nowhere. Half my mind was full of them, while another part was taking in everything in sight. And another part was concentrating on...the pain. The fire in my throat. It was almost unbearable. How could I put it out? I wanted it to stop, now! Anger and irritation passed through my body. But I was too busy with my questions to try to do anything about it now. I needed to know the answers. There was one, very important question that I needed to have answered:
Who was I?
I stood up in a flash, and looked around me. A room. Probably a basement or something, since it was full of old stuff that seemed like they had just been dumped here when they were no longer needed. The room was dark, but I could see everything perfectly. Everything was broken and a mess, like there had been some fight here. There was a pile of ashes on the floor. I could smell the ashes strongest, though everything else (dust, wood, paper,...) was still clear. I paced around the room and stopped in front of a mirror. Or, a piece of a mirror, more like, most of it was shattered on the floor. The girl that stared back at me didn't seem familiar.
She was petit and skinny, with pale white skin. Her short black was jagged and spiky, like it had all been cut of carelessly. Though I had no memory to compare it to, I knew her face was beautiful. The wide, long-lashed eyes that stared back at me where bright red.
I saw all this in a second, and, since it gave me no clues to who I was, quickly turned to the door. I had to stop the fire in my throat. Now. I pushed the door out of my way- it landed on the ground with a loud thud- and ran out of whatever building I was in. It was night. No one was out.
Oh, who cared about all that?! The fire was really hurting me now, and angering me. Agh! Could it please stop, somehow?!
I jumped on to a roof and ran across the buildings. I could see more of the town from up here.
I needed. To stop. The fire.
I heard something that caught my attention. Footsteps. And a strange, rithmitic thudding. I turned toward the sound. A woman was walking down the street. She moved so slow it anoyed me. I didn't understand why someone would want to move so slow. But just then I inhaled- and my train of thought stopped in it's tracks.
Before I realized what I was doing, I lunged myself at the woman.
She didn't even have time to scream. My teeth cut through her skin easily, and, if I had been abble to think before, it was impossible now. The sweetest liquid I had ever tasted (even withought any memories, I was sure of that) filled my mouth, slided down my throat. And for a while the burning was forgotten.
But it finished to quickly.
I tossed the body away. I could think again.
OK... What had I just done? I looked down at the girl, lifeless, drained of blood.
A word passed through my mind: vampire.
So, I was a vampire. OK. That explained... a lot.
So, I was a vampire- and I'd just taken a girl's life. I wasn't shure how I felt about that. At least I knew how to stop the burning. The burning that, I realized suddenly, was still there after all. So I'd have to... feed again. If it was the only way to stop the pain, I'd take it. Even if I had to... kill people. It was hard to say the words, but what other choice did I have?
Just when I was deciding to go and slaughter the whole town- just so I could escape the fire- something strange happened, and I saw something.


Well, I've written the next chapter too, but I haven't got time to write it now. Just tell me what you think and I'll show you the next time tomorrow! 
  
 

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