things that you would never read in Twilight, New Moon, and so on

If you have ever been on the Lexicon before it got hacked, you might remember that they had a forum called "things that would never be said in Twilight/New Moon. Now that they changed it, you can't add any new topics and they didn't bring it back, which made me really sad. all their stuff was so funny! so i'm started one over here. just post funny things that you would never read in any of the books!

here's mine:

Edward: Leggo my eggo Jasper!

******************************************

Bella; Edward, how did you get in here?

Edward: I Apparated.

******************************************

Alice: I did NOT see that coming.

Jasper: What?

Alice: That I would look so COOL in the movie!

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lol Missy it's so funny! And yeah you wouldn't see that in the books! ^ ^
LOL, that reminds me of something someone did for Deathly Hallows, on deviantART. It was hilarious. I wish they'd put that back on the lexicon :(
If any of you think of anything funny, just add it ^^ i would love to hear your funny ideas
Okay here is one you will never find in any of the books!

Emmet and Rosalie getting ready for school in the morning.

Emmet: *looking at his awesomeness self in the mirror* I'm to sexy for my shirt, I'm to sexy for my shirt, I'm to sexy yeah!

Rosalie: Omg, Look at my butt, I swear a lifetime of enternity is not doing my butt any good! I must do more Pilates!

Emmet: Awe Shut up Rosalie, just look at my sexy self! I swear, I am so handsome!

Rosalie: You are so full of it! I am way better looking than you! *tackles Emmett*

Okay veiwer discretion and violence Emmet and Rosalie get into a Prima Donna fight over who is the sexiest Vampire! lol
Right so things you would never read in the books right?? Here's an alternate version of the of New Moon.

Edward: "Bella I'm leaving you."

Bella: "What? Why? Oh no, you've found someone else haven't you? It's Jessica isn't it?! That b**** I'll get her!!"

Edward: "No Bella, it's not Jessica."

Bella: "Then WHO is it?!"

Edward: ".... Mike."

Bella: o_o

LOL Srry that just popped into my head so i really wanted to write it XD
lol, haha! That is so funnay! omg I can totally see that happening if Edward swinged that way! ^ ^
here is one from missy's sister. New Moon!

Bella(inner thought): It feels like if I let go I will fall into tiny pieces.

Jacob: Hey Bella.

Bella:Yeah?

Jacob: Does it feel like if you let go you will fall into tiny pieces?

Bella: *shocked* Yeah how did you know?

Jacob: Your voice over was kinda loud.
let me think of a few more

Edward: Lumos! Lumos!! LUMOS!!! Gah! stupid wand. that Harry Potter dude ripped me off.

Bella: Umm Edward?

Edward: Yeah?

Bella: *points behind Edward at a fly*

Edward: oh sorry Emmett!

***************************************

Edward: Bella; you are utterly absurd!

Bella: What?

Edward: You ate my cookies!!
Jacob Fan Girls vs. Edward Fan Girls!

Fan Girls for Jacob: Jacob Jacob he's our man, if Can't do it know can! Go Jacob! *forms pyramid*

Fan Girls for Edward: Sparkle Sparkle Pretty and Hot, Edward is Everything Jacob is Not! *does flips*

Fan Girls for Jacob: U.G.L.Y EDWARD GOT NO ALIBI, HE UGLY, WHAT WHAT HE UGLAY!

Fan Girls for Edward: I SAY BRR BRR ITS GETTING COLD IN HERE THERE MUST BE WEREWOLF IN THE ATMOSPHERE!

Out of nowhere Edward, Bella and Jacob walk in among the Fan girls battle!

Bella: Omg...look at all these stupid fan girls fighting over you two! *laughs out loud*

Edward: It's not funny, I can't seem to escape from them! They won't leave my alone! *cowers behind Bella*

Jacob: Haha, sucks for you, but once I agree with you! This getting out of hand! *backs away slowly*


All the Fan Girls spot Edward and Jacob and start to turn into a Major Fan Girl Robot!

TWILIGHT FAN GIRL POWERS ACTIVATE!

Edward, Bella, and Jacob, join together to become the Super Twilight Character Robot!

TWILIGHT BOOK POWERS ACTIVATE!



THE TWO HUGE ROBOTS GET INTO TO SUPER NINJA COMBATE, THE BOOK HEROES WON, BUT THE TWILIGHT FAN GIRL SHALL HAVE THEIR REVENGE! LOL
Lauren said:
here is one from missy's sister. New Moon!

Bella(inner thought): It feels like if I let go I will fall into tiny pieces.

Jacob: Hey Bella.

Bella:Yeah?

Jacob: Does it feel like if you let go you will fall into tiny pieces?

Bella: *shocked* Yeah how did you know?

Jacob: Your voice over was kinda loud.

lol hey you told me that one. maybe will type up my version of edwards visit to bella at night.
Catherine said:
Jacob Fan Girls vs. Edward Fan Girls!

Fan Girls for Jacob: Jacob Jacob he's our man, if Can't do it know can! Go Jacob! *forms pyramid*

Fan Girls for Edward: Sparkle Sparkle Pretty and Hot, Edward is Everything Jacob is Not! *does flips*

Fan Girls for Jacob: U.G.L.Y EDWARD GOT NO ALIBI, HE UGLY, WHAT WHAT HE UGLAY!

Fan Girls for Edward: I SAY BRR BRR ITS GETTING COLD IN HERE THERE MUST BE WEREWOLF IN THE ATMOSPHERE!

Out of nowhere Edward, Bella and Jacob walk in among the Fan girls battle!

Bella: Omg...look at all these stupid fan girls fighting over you two! *laughs out loud*

Edward: It's not funny, I can't seem to escape from them! They won't leave my alone! *cowers behind Bella*

Jacob: Haha, sucks for you, but once I agree with you! This getting out of hand! *backs away slowly*


All the Fan Girls spot Edward and Jacob and start to turn into a Major Fan Girl Robot!

TWILIGHT FAN GIRL POWERS ACTIVATE!

Edward, Bella, and Jacob, join together to become the Super Twilight Character Robot!

TWILIGHT BOOK POWERS ACTIVATE!



THE TWO HUGE ROBOTS GET INTO TO SUPER NINJA COMBATE, THE BOOK HEROES WON, BUT THE TWILIGHT FAN GIRL SHALL HAVE THEIR REVENGE! LOL

wow katie u got a super genius mind lol idk where u come up with these things...
Edward: Im a barbie girl, in a barbie world. *does a twirl* you can brush my hair and dress me anywhere! I feel so pretty, oh so pretty! i feel pretty and witty and GAY!!!! oh Bella don't you just love this skirt I'm wearing?

Bella: Oh My God!?!? what has happened to you Edward?? snap out of it! Jacob kissed me again today.

Edward: aww that's nice! he's so cute. and buff! *giggles*

Bella: aren't you going to get mad?? aren't you going to be all manly and beat him up??? growl a little? something?

Edward: eww no! that would mess up my nails!

Jasper: *snickers in the hallway with emmett* this is so much fun!

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