Right so things you would never read in the books right?? Here's an alternate version of the of New Moon.
Edward: "Bella I'm leaving you."
Bella: "What? Why? Oh no, you've found someone else haven't you? It's Jessica isn't it?! That b**** I'll get her!!"
Edward: "No Bella, it's not Jessica."
Bella: "Then WHO is it?!"
Edward: ".... Mike."
LOL Srry that just popped into my head so i really wanted to write it XD
ok, here i go, but i must remind you i am not good at these things So please dont laugh at me =)
EDWARD AND BELLA ARE FLYING TROUGH THE AIR-
Edward- Bella, I love you, you r my night, and your eyes are my stars. U feel really light u must lost wait
turns his head
Edawrd- S*** i guess it is back to Italy again O-O
LMAO! Ednesmee. Jacob imprinted on that shiz too haha. Though what would that make Jake? Bi? lol
Southern Cullen said:Renesmee's birth scene......
So Bella'd been wrong. It wasn't a boy - kinda.
Edward: Umm, Bella
Bella: what is it, give me my baby
Edward: it isn't a girl, but it isn't a boy either.
Bella: what do you mean
Edward: I mean we have a Ednesmee!
Dayum you weird chromosomes!!!!!!!
BREAKING DAWN HONEYMOON SCENE(SEX ESCENE)
BELLA:OMG....Y UR D1CK IS SOO HOTT??
EDWARD:(EMBARRECED) I KINDA WARMED UP FIRST
BELLA:WTF??Y WILL U DO THAT??I LOVE UL COLD SKIN
EDWARD:I THOUGH U LIKED IT HOT, LIKE JACOB HAVE IT
BELLA:HOW DO U KNOW HOW JACOB HAVE IT??
EDWARD:WELL...I MIGHT TRIED IT....U KNOW ONLY TO KNOW WHAT U WERE LOSSING.....I´M NOT GAY
BELLA:(ANGRY) U B****!!!U WANNA F*CK JACOB...THATS Y U DIDN´T LEAVE HIM BE WITH ME RIGHT?
EDWARD:WHAT??BELLA FORGET ABOUT IT OK?
BELLA:WHAT I´LL NEVER FORGET IT
EDWARD:(HE START TOUCHING HER N MOVING)
BELLA:OK...ITS FORGOTEN........KEEP DOING ITª!!!!
EDWARD:YESSS!!!COMEEEE...""YESSS!!!!I LOVEE U
BELLA:I LOVE U 2
EDWARD: I LOVEE U JACOB!!
EDWARD:(MOVING FASTR N FASTER)YESSS!!!
BELLA:EDWARD SLOW DOWN!!U KNOW I´M NOT A FREAKING WOLF!!!!
EDWARD:RIGHT UR NOT.....UHM.....
BELLA:I HAVNT TOLD U TO STOP
EDWARD:ITS OK...ANYWAY MR. EDDY ITS OFF NOW....
BELLA:DO U WANT NEXT TIME I DRESED UP LIKE A WOLF?
EDWARD:YES...THAT WILL HELP A LITTLE...
BELLA:I WAS JUST KIDDING!!!
EDWARD:(SHOCKED)ITS NOT FUNNY.....WHY DO U HAVE TO PLAY WITH MY FELLINGS??!!!
EDWARD:WHYYY..........!!!!I WILL NEVER F*** U AGAIN......I HATE U...AT LEAST U HAVE THE LOVE OF JACOB..HE ONLY WANTED TO F*** ME ONCE...N IT WAS ONLY CUZ I LET HIM KISS U...
BELLA: R U FREAKING KIDDING ME????
My favorite one of all the ones i've read.... I totally saw that happening :DEdward: Im a barbie girl, in a barbie world. *does a twirl* you can brush my hair and dress me anywhere! I feel so pretty, oh so pretty! i feel pretty and witty and GAY!!!! oh Bella don't you just love this skirt I'm wearing?
Bella: Oh My God!?!? what has happened to you Edward?? snap out of it! Jacob kissed me again today.
Edward: aww that's nice! he's so cute. and buff! *giggles*
Bella: aren't you going to get mad?? aren't you going to be all manly and beat him up??? growl a little? something?
Edward: eww no! that would mess up my nails!
Jasper: *snickers in the hallway with emmett* this is so much fun!