things that you would never read in Twilight, New Moon, and so on

If you have ever been on the Lexicon before it got hacked, you might remember that they had a forum called "things that would never be said in Twilight/New Moon. Now that they changed it, you can't add any new topics and they didn't bring it back, which made me really sad. all their stuff was so funny! so i'm started one over here. just post funny things that you would never read in any of the books!

here's mine:

Edward: Leggo my eggo Jasper!

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Bella; Edward, how did you get in here?

Edward: I Apparated.

******************************************

Alice: I did NOT see that coming.

Jasper: What?

Alice: That I would look so COOL in the movie!

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lol sometimes i just have bursts of genius....though they are few and far between lol

SierraCullen-EdwardMine^,.,^ said:
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Edward: Im a barbie girl, in a barbie world. *does a twirl* you can brush my hair and dress me anywhere! I feel so pretty, oh so pretty! i feel pretty and witty and GAY!!!! oh Bella don't you just love this skirt I'm wearing?

Bella: Oh My God!?!? what has happened to you Edward?? snap out of it! Jacob kissed me again today.

Edward: aww that's nice! he's so cute. and buff! *giggles*

Bella: aren't you going to get mad?? aren't you going to be all manly and beat him up??? growl a little? something?

Edward: eww no! that would mess up my nails!

Jasper: *snickers in the hallway with emmett* this is so much fun!

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Thats so funnyy. Missy.. I almost pisseed my pants. !!
MizHafHaf said:
Right so things you would never read in the books right?? Here's an alternate version of the of New Moon.

Edward: "Bella I'm leaving you."

Bella: "What? Why? Oh no, you've found someone else haven't you? It's Jessica isn't it?! That b**** I'll get her!!"

Edward: "No Bella, it's not Jessica."

Bella: "Then WHO is it?!"

Edward: ".... Mike."

Bella: o_o

LOL Srry that just popped into my head so i really wanted to write it XD
Bawhahahahaha lol omg that is some funny stuff..very funny
SierraCullen-EdwardMine^,.,^ said:
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Edward: Im a barbie girl, in a barbie world. *does a twirl* you can brush my hair and dress me anywhere! I feel so pretty, oh so pretty! i feel pretty and witty and GAY!!!! oh Bella don't you just love this skirt I'm wearing?

Bella: Oh My God!?!? what has happened to you Edward?? snap out of it! Jacob kissed me again today.

Edward: aww that's nice! he's so cute. and buff! *giggles*

Bella: aren't you going to get mad?? aren't you going to be all manly and beat him up??? growl a little? something?

Edward: eww no! that would mess up my nails!

Jasper: *snickers in the hallway with emmett* this is so much fun!

__________________________________________________________

Thats so funnyy. Missy.. I almost pisseed my pants. !!
lol.....i think im going to be up all night reading this stuff....love it!!!! <3
saya4haji said:
ok so it alaways struck me about edwards suicide thing that he was so desperate for death but he just couldn't figure out how to do it...hmm the volturi the only option....

Rosalie: Edwarsd bellas dead, so now what u gonna do?

Edward: no, no no NO NOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't live without Bella i can't!

Rosalie: no Edward don't do anything stupid

Edward: no i won't i swear i wont go to italy...*in his head*--- yeah i super smart not like dum carlisle i worked it out using my massive inellect...i just throw myself into a volcano or lock myself in a crematorium oven....duh... these guys must think i stupid...gonna let some guys tear me apart and then burn me...like no!
this is funny because i was really think would he really do that for bella.......lol so brave
ok, here i go, but i must remind you i am not good at these things So please dont laugh at me =)

EDWARD AND BELLA ARE FLYING TROUGH THE AIR-

Edward- Bella, I love you, you r my night, and your eyes are my stars. U feel really light u must lost wait
turns his head
Edawrd- S*** i guess it is back to Italy again O-O
lol haha! i had to read twice to figure out what you were saying but then i cracked up laughing

Yvette said:
ok, here i go, but i must remind you i am not good at these things So please dont laugh at me =)

EDWARD AND BELLA ARE FLYING TROUGH THE AIR-

Edward- Bella, I love you, you r my night, and your eyes are my stars. U feel really light u must lost wait
turns his head
Edawrd- S*** i guess it is back to Italy again O-O
lol those are sooo funny
Edward: ugh, Bella, will you stop talking! im trying to listen to Vampire Radio!

Bella: you know thats not for real vampires right? its just for people who like vampire stuff...like True Blood and that Twilight thing....

Edward: oh I know....Jackson is gonna be on this week!!! *squeal* he is so cute!!!

Jasper: (out in the hallway) *snickers* I love being me....
lol i love all the harry potter ones. ;)
Yvette said:
ok, here i go, but i must remind you i am not good at these things So please dont laugh at me =)

EDWARD AND BELLA ARE FLYING TROUGH THE AIR-

Edward- Bella, I love you, you r my night, and your eyes are my stars. U feel really light u must lost wait
turns his head
Edawrd- S*** i guess it is back to Italy again O-O

LMAO XD hahaha that was goooood!
Edward: Who let the dogs out!
Jacob: *runs out and dances* ME!

lol idk. I was thinking of that WHO LET THE DOGS OUT song and so yeah lol. xD
Bella walks in the other room away from Edward
Bella "Pffft." Bella blushes
Edward "You know I can hear and smell that anyway. I could hear your farts for miles away Bella"
Bella thinks " Damn Vampires"

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