Well, as I was turned and took a look at myself for the first time, I was shocked. This red eyes in my foreign face... And all that things that were going on in my mind. To much to think about, to much space to fill with new knowledge. The thirst...And the great emptyness. I was sad, really sad. I had no idea how to deal with myself... I wanted to flee. flee from myself. I was really shocked...

What was your first reaction in your new life. You don't have to tell me, but it would be interesting.

Tags: reaction

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Replies to This Discussion

I was scared to death when I found out that I was a vampire.When I saw my bright red eyes and heard my beautiful voice.I was sure I was dead.I had to keep telling myself,"I'm dead.I was beaten to death a week ago.".But,I still wasn't sure that this red-eyed angel was me.But,It had to be me.I came to the realization that it was me.I just dealt with it.
Wow you must be really strong...

Jordan said:
I never actually saw my face until I had learned to control my thrist. The person who changed me didn't want me to freak out and fear what I was. Until my eyes had turned golden and I was in control, I never saw my reflection. And I mean it. No windows or mirrors, only hunting when it was dry and never near water, keeping myself in a room and no going outside and mingling with the public. I did absloutely nothing that would give me a chance to see myself. And when I did see myself, I wasn't surprised. He had described what I looked like, and so I was only seeing with my eyes what my ears had heard.
I know what you mean. I have felt the same way. It was to much for me...

Scarlett Rombardi said:
I was scared to death when I found out that I was a vampire.When I saw my bright red eyes and heard my beautiful voice.I was sure I was dead.I had to keep telling myself,"I'm dead.I was beaten to death a week ago.".But,I still wasn't sure that this red-eyed angel was me.But,It had to be me.I came to the realization that it was me.I just dealt with it.
I don't know anyone who handled finding out well.

Simone Melissa Geier said:
I know what you mean. I have felt the same way. It was to much for me...

Scarlett Rombardi said:
I was scared to death when I found out that I was a vampire.When I saw my bright red eyes and heard my beautiful voice.I was sure I was dead.I had to keep telling myself,"I'm dead.I was beaten to death a week ago.".But,I still wasn't sure that this red-eyed angel was me.But,It had to be me.I came to the realization that it was me.I just dealt with it.
Hello Simone,

This is very hard for me to share, as this subject actually brings up for me memories I intentionally attempt to supress.

When I was created, I did not see myself for a very long time. My maker, intentionally did not allow it. I would later on learn why that was.

However one day, while out being shown how to hunt without being detected, among other things, by my maker, I saw my reflection in a puddle of water.

I was initially so horrified I looked about me in fright, thinking it was some monster behind me. Then however when I realized that the monster in the reflection WAS me, I, well I guess the easiest way to describe it would be to say I very nearly lost my mind. You see, the change first physically scarred me, and then emotionally did so.

As any true vampire that is honest can tell you. Not all of our kind are "pretty boys and girls". ;)

It took me many days before I could stand to look at myself again, and decades to reach a point where I truly accepted my lot in this existence.

Deleted because it shares to much knowledge.

D.
Jordan,

Tell us more, about the time of your change. Leave no detail out.

I can't tell you why, the others won't let me, but It's very important to them that you do.

D.
I'm really with you! As i have seen myself for the first time, I had been shocked. I always thought: This eyes...this eyes....
They nearly get me insane....still. I learned to deal wit it, but it's still a fight. In my human life, i never had been very shy. I was open to everyone. And I have loved that my human friends were proud to have such a "cool" friend. Lol, they have loved when I did something ... weird and funny. But now, my second life is up and I'm not cool....I'm shy.... I don't want to scare anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be a vampire. I was always scared about death, and I'm really happy that I have the chance to live. But these eyes..... Something must have went wrong during my changing. They are not red, not yellow. They are bright orange. And they look like the eyes of a cat.....gosh....sigh....

Daidalos Falvius said:
Hello Simone,

This is very hard for me to share, as this subject actually brings up for me memories I intentionally attempt to supress.

When I was created, I did not see myself for a very long time. My maker, intentionally did not allow it. I would later on learn why that was.

However one day, while out being shown how to hunt without being detected, among other things, by my maker, I saw my reflection in a puddle of water.

I was initially so horrified I looked about me in fright, thinking it was some monster behind me. Then however when I realized that the monster in the reflection WAS me, I, well I guess the easiest way to describe it would be to say I very nearly lost my mind. You see, the change first physically scarred me, and then emotionally did so.

As any true vampire that is honest can tell you. Not all of our kind are "pretty boys and girls". ;)

It took me many days before I could stand to look at myself again, and decades to reach a point where I truly accepted my lot in this existence.

Deleted because it shares to much knowledge.

D.
I can't quite say that I understand but,I can tell you that I was shocked when I saw my eyes.When I saw my face I was,In some petty,self-centered way,happy.I believe the thought was,"I hate my eyes but,other than that I am SO pretty".Like I said,I am quite selfish.
~Scarlett

Daidalos Falvius said:
Hello Simone,

This is very hard for me to share, as this subject actually brings up for me memories I intentionally attempt to supress.

When I was created, I did not see myself for a very long time. My maker, intentionally did not allow it. I would later on learn why that was.

However one day, while out being shown how to hunt without being detected, among other things, by my maker, I saw my reflection in a puddle of water.

I was initially so horrified I looked about me in fright, thinking it was some monster behind me. Then however when I realized that the monster in the reflection WAS me, I, well I guess the easiest way to describe it would be to say I very nearly lost my mind. You see, the change first physically scarred me, and then emotionally did so.

As any true vampire that is honest can tell you. Not all of our kind are "pretty boys and girls". ;)

It took me many days before I could stand to look at myself again, and decades to reach a point where I truly accepted my lot in this existence.

Deleted because it shares to much knowledge.

D.
As I said Jordan, we Nosferatu take years to learn what you by nature achieved. There may be something in your story which will help us to achieve our focus faster. There are certain abilities all those of the Nosferatu line can do. But they take great focus. There maybe something in your changing that would tell us, how we could shorten the time involved in teaching new Nosferatu certain of our abilities. As I said I simply want to place your story into our archives, and of course study it.

However if you don't wish to share it, that is fine as well. If anyone can, I can understand the reluctance to share with others of our kind. Infact when I do share things, it's actually an act of rebellion. Not out of any desire to forthcoming.

D.
I can't decide if that was better or worse than the way I was changed.I'm sorry if this is an unwelcome question.I don't mean to pry.I'm just curious.

Jordan said:
D, I have decided to share my story. Even though I would rather not remember, if this knowledge can help future newborns then by all means I am most willing to share.

I was born on May 13, 1800. I was the oldest of six children, 4 boys and 1 other girl besides myself.
My mother was the late widow of my father, who had died the year I turned 13. We, fortunately, were left with a very large sum of money to us, and the house left to the eldest boy, who at the time had just turned 12 years of age.

My life was rather like what Jane Austen would write of. We were rather poor comapred to others, and with so many children to see off into the world, our dear mother was frantic about finding good husbands for me and my sister while trying to make all my brothers into proper gentlemen. As a result of that, my mother hired a maid to cook and clean so that she could further my education and make me accomplished as I was the first she would have the pleasure of finding a suitable match for. I learned to play the piano-forte, as it was called then, and also learned to sing, dance, and learned all the proper equiette. I was placed with the care of my siblings, to learn to care for children, and was never allowed to do anything that would interfere with my education.
By nature, I was a very calm, focused, and accepting child. That is why I was slow to recognize the romantic connection between my mother and our maid. Never in my life had I dreamed that my mother would be a lesbian. She had loved our father dearly, and to see her act the way she did to him with the maid was a sight to behold! But I was accepting of it. If It made my mother happy, than who was I to believe that how she was achieving it was wrong? My siblings remained ignorant to what was going on with our mother until our uncle came for us at midnight, demanding that we be removed from such an exmaple. Our poor mother bidded that we should go with him, for as she was now a public disgrace we should have a much better chance of getting husbands and what not with him. I was only 15 when I bid good-bye to my mother for the rest of my life.
Life with my uncle was not bad. There were many a young men and plenty of oppurtunties to be had. I even found the love of my life by the age of sixteen, though I could not marry till I was seventeen at the earliest. I shall not say his name out of respect, only that he was very handsome and also was to inherit a large sum of money. And this is where my happy life comes to its ending.
It was May 13, 1817, the day of my seventhteenth birthday. My uncle had thrown a grand ball for my honor, and what a delightful ball it was indeed. It was until my love decided to propse to me. The ball was over then and he was escorting me up to my room, with my uncle's premission. Just outside the doorway of my room is ehen he asked me, and being so in love, I accepted without any further thought. He pulled me in for what I thought was to be a kiss, and then the most horrible thing happened.
My blood began to boil underneath where he had bitten me on my lips. A fire raged through my body, engulfing me within its deadly flames. His grasp become like that of a boa constrictor's, and fire burned even hotter as he bit me along my neck, wrists, ankles, and other places which I cannot remember.
I cannot say how long I suffered like that. Every minute felt like a year to my failing mind. I wondered faintly if he was really a killer of the worst kind. I imagined what he was doing to me as I lay helplessly trying to fight off an unbeatable foe. I had never imagined that I was really becoming something else until the pain stopped, and I was finallly able to see the world through clear eyes.
I was a vampire, he had told me. I was a newborn, and that meant I was going to be very thirsty. This dull fire that raged in my throat still was going to be with me till the end of forever. And the worst part, I was going to have to drink blood to quench the thirst. I did not question what he told me, as my new skin, teeth, and thirst proved him to be true. I asked whether I could see my face, as I wanted to see something familiar that was truely me. He denied me that privilage, saying that until my thirst was under control and until I learned the ways of vegetarians, I was never to see my new face. He would often describe it for me, so I could have the satisfaction of knowing that I was really me and that I was not the murder who's red eyes haunted me as his had when I had been newly changed. He was surprised that I was able to catch on so quickly, and that I was able to control my thirst better than he, who had centuries of experience.
One night, as we were hunting, we passed a puddle that had yet to dry. That was the first time I ever saw my face. And I was not surprised, for I found it like he had repeatedly told me. I looked exactly as I had heard him describe so many times.
D, I hope this helps you and the others. I hope this is enough as well.
Would you have preferred to be bitten by him or someone you did not know?

Jordan said:
What is your question exactly?

Scarlett Rombardi said:
I can't decide if that was better or worse than the way I was changed.I'm sorry if this is an unwelcome question.I don't mean to pry.I'm just curious.

Jordan said:
D, I have decided to share my story. Even though I would rather not remember, if this knowledge can help future newborns then by all means I am most willing to share.

I was born on May 13, 1800. I was the oldest of six children, 4 boys and 1 other girl besides myself.
My mother was the late widow of my father, who had died the year I turned 13. We, fortunately, were left with a very large sum of money to us, and the house left to the eldest boy, who at the time had just turned 12 years of age.

My life was rather like what Jane Austen would write of. We were rather poor comapred to others, and with so many children to see off into the world, our dear mother was frantic about finding good husbands for me and my sister while trying to make all my brothers into proper gentlemen. As a result of that, my mother hired a maid to cook and clean so that she could further my education and make me accomplished as I was the first she would have the pleasure of finding a suitable match for. I learned to play the piano-forte, as it was called then, and also learned to sing, dance, and learned all the proper equiette. I was placed with the care of my siblings, to learn to care for children, and was never allowed to do anything that would interfere with my education.
By nature, I was a very calm, focused, and accepting child. That is why I was slow to recognize the romantic connection between my mother and our maid. Never in my life had I dreamed that my mother would be a lesbian. She had loved our father dearly, and to see her act the way she did to him with the maid was a sight to behold! But I was accepting of it. If It made my mother happy, than who was I to believe that how she was achieving it was wrong? My siblings remained ignorant to what was going on with our mother until our uncle came for us at midnight, demanding that we be removed from such an exmaple. Our poor mother bidded that we should go with him, for as she was now a public disgrace we should have a much better chance of getting husbands and what not with him. I was only 15 when I bid good-bye to my mother for the rest of my life.
Life with my uncle was not bad. There were many a young men and plenty of oppurtunties to be had. I even found the love of my life by the age of sixteen, though I could not marry till I was seventeen at the earliest. I shall not say his name out of respect, only that he was very handsome and also was to inherit a large sum of money. And this is where my happy life comes to its ending.
It was May 13, 1817, the day of my seventhteenth birthday. My uncle had thrown a grand ball for my honor, and what a delightful ball it was indeed. It was until my love decided to propse to me. The ball was over then and he was escorting me up to my room, with my uncle's premission. Just outside the doorway of my room is ehen he asked me, and being so in love, I accepted without any further thought. He pulled me in for what I thought was to be a kiss, and then the most horrible thing happened.
My blood began to boil underneath where he had bitten me on my lips. A fire raged through my body, engulfing me within its deadly flames. His grasp become like that of a boa constrictor's, and fire burned even hotter as he bit me along my neck, wrists, ankles, and other places which I cannot remember.
I cannot say how long I suffered like that. Every minute felt like a year to my failing mind. I wondered faintly if he was really a killer of the worst kind. I imagined what he was doing to me as I lay helplessly trying to fight off an unbeatable foe. I had never imagined that I was really becoming something else until the pain stopped, and I was finallly able to see the world through clear eyes.
I was a vampire, he had told me. I was a newborn, and that meant I was going to be very thirsty. This dull fire that raged in my throat still was going to be with me till the end of forever. And the worst part, I was going to have to drink blood to quench the thirst. I did not question what he told me, as my new skin, teeth, and thirst proved him to be true. I asked whether I could see my face, as I wanted to see something familiar that was truely me. He denied me that privilage, saying that until my thirst was under control and until I learned the ways of vegetarians, I was never to see my new face. He would often describe it for me, so I could have the satisfaction of knowing that I was really me and that I was not the murder who's red eyes haunted me as his had when I had been newly changed. He was surprised that I was able to catch on so quickly, and that I was able to control my thirst better than he, who had centuries of experience.
One night, as we were hunting, we passed a puddle that had yet to dry. That was the first time I ever saw my face. And I was not surprised, for I found it like he had repeatedly told me. I looked exactly as I had heard him describe so many times.
D, I hope this helps you and the others. I hope this is enough as well.
I'm so sorry.

Jordan said:
For me, I don't believe that it would matter either way. I am accepting for both. I believe it would have been better if it had been a stranger, so that my heart would not have been broken later on.

Scarlett Rombardi said:
Would you have preferred to be bitten by him or someone you did not know?

Jordan said:
What is your question exactly?

Scarlett Rombardi said:
I can't decide if that was better or worse than the way I was changed.I'm sorry if this is an unwelcome question.I don't mean to pry.I'm just curious.

Jordan said:
D, I have decided to share my story. Even though I would rather not remember, if this knowledge can help future newborns then by all means I am most willing to share.

I was born on May 13, 1800. I was the oldest of six children, 4 boys and 1 other girl besides myself.
My mother was the late widow of my father, who had died the year I turned 13. We, fortunately, were left with a very large sum of money to us, and the house left to the eldest boy, who at the time had just turned 12 years of age.

My life was rather like what Jane Austen would write of. We were rather poor comapred to others, and with so many children to see off into the world, our dear mother was frantic about finding good husbands for me and my sister while trying to make all my brothers into proper gentlemen. As a result of that, my mother hired a maid to cook and clean so that she could further my education and make me accomplished as I was the first she would have the pleasure of finding a suitable match for. I learned to play the piano-forte, as it was called then, and also learned to sing, dance, and learned all the proper equiette. I was placed with the care of my siblings, to learn to care for children, and was never allowed to do anything that would interfere with my education.
By nature, I was a very calm, focused, and accepting child. That is why I was slow to recognize the romantic connection between my mother and our maid. Never in my life had I dreamed that my mother would be a lesbian. She had loved our father dearly, and to see her act the way she did to him with the maid was a sight to behold! But I was accepting of it. If It made my mother happy, than who was I to believe that how she was achieving it was wrong? My siblings remained ignorant to what was going on with our mother until our uncle came for us at midnight, demanding that we be removed from such an exmaple. Our poor mother bidded that we should go with him, for as she was now a public disgrace we should have a much better chance of getting husbands and what not with him. I was only 15 when I bid good-bye to my mother for the rest of my life.
Life with my uncle was not bad. There were many a young men and plenty of oppurtunties to be had. I even found the love of my life by the age of sixteen, though I could not marry till I was seventeen at the earliest. I shall not say his name out of respect, only that he was very handsome and also was to inherit a large sum of money. And this is where my happy life comes to its ending.
It was May 13, 1817, the day of my seventhteenth birthday. My uncle had thrown a grand ball for my honor, and what a delightful ball it was indeed. It was until my love decided to propse to me. The ball was over then and he was escorting me up to my room, with my uncle's premission. Just outside the doorway of my room is ehen he asked me, and being so in love, I accepted without any further thought. He pulled me in for what I thought was to be a kiss, and then the most horrible thing happened.
My blood began to boil underneath where he had bitten me on my lips. A fire raged through my body, engulfing me within its deadly flames. His grasp become like that of a boa constrictor's, and fire burned even hotter as he bit me along my neck, wrists, ankles, and other places which I cannot remember.
I cannot say how long I suffered like that. Every minute felt like a year to my failing mind. I wondered faintly if he was really a killer of the worst kind. I imagined what he was doing to me as I lay helplessly trying to fight off an unbeatable foe. I had never imagined that I was really becoming something else until the pain stopped, and I was finallly able to see the world through clear eyes.
I was a vampire, he had told me. I was a newborn, and that meant I was going to be very thirsty. This dull fire that raged in my throat still was going to be with me till the end of forever. And the worst part, I was going to have to drink blood to quench the thirst. I did not question what he told me, as my new skin, teeth, and thirst proved him to be true. I asked whether I could see my face, as I wanted to see something familiar that was truely me. He denied me that privilage, saying that until my thirst was under control and until I learned the ways of vegetarians, I was never to see my new face. He would often describe it for me, so I could have the satisfaction of knowing that I was really me and that I was not the murder who's red eyes haunted me as his had when I had been newly changed. He was surprised that I was able to catch on so quickly, and that I was able to control my thirst better than he, who had centuries of experience.
One night, as we were hunting, we passed a puddle that had yet to dry. That was the first time I ever saw my face. And I was not surprised, for I found it like he had repeatedly told me. I looked exactly as I had heard him describe so many times.
D, I hope this helps you and the others. I hope this is enough as well.

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