-Well I thought what the hell... I'll go first and see how this works. Again this story is M for a reason so please don't take me out back and beat me for lack of a warning. (holds breath) Ok... here we go-
God I don’t want to be here. I sat back in my chair to take a drink of my beer. I kept to myself in the corner of the room while watching everyone laugh and mingle with each other. As nice as it was to see all the guys hanging out together outside of pack duties, I didn’t feel like I belonged here. Not to mention all this Christmas crap made me want to puke. Even with Emily’s house beautifully decorated, I still wasn’t getting in the holiday spirit. The only reason I was here was because of Emily, but as much as I loved her it was hard being around her and Sam. Especially on Christmas. I watched them in the kitchen from across the room. Kissing, hugging, and jokingly touching each other. I couldn’t help the small growl of jealousy that erupted from my chest. Rub it in why don’t you. And to go along with the nightmare, I couldn’t help remembering that not too long ago I was in Emily’s place. Jacob and Seth were sitting on the floor at my feet. They turned and looked at me. Crap they must have heard me.
Seth leaned closer to me. “Are you okay Leah? You look…”
“Really pissed off,” Jacob finished.
I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my beer. “Get over it.”
“Don’t be this way Leah,” Seth whispered. “Try to enjoy yourself, or at least pretend to, please. Don’t ruin a good time.”
Jacob reached up and took my beer out of my hands. “And you can start by putting down your sixth beer, and joining in on the conversation,” Seth smiled and nodded his head in agreement. I looked back at him and shook my head no. My eyes glazed over quickly at seeing the guys eating the Christmas dinner that Emily prepared. You could hear the lame, traditional holiday music playing in the background, and the twinkling lights that surrounded the room did look nice. I looked back at my brother with a slight comfort that at least he was here with me. I guess it wouldn’t kill me to at least look like I cared. At that moment Emily let out a squeal of laughter. The three of us looked up to see Sam nipping at her neck and kissing her cheek.
Well that didn’t last long. “I can’t do this,” I said as I got up and tossed the car keys at Jacob. “Make sure Seth gets home at a decent hour. I’ll see you later.”
Seth stood up. “Where are you going to go?”
“Out,” I simply replied.
Jacob got up and took my seat. “Leah, just don’t do anything stupid,” he warned as I flipped him off and headed for the front door.
“Leah, where are you going?” I turned and looked at Emily. She had such a warm smile on her face. I almost felt guilty at the thoughts that were swimming through my head but then my eyes shifted to Sam who was standing right next to her. He looked at me for a brief second and then looked away. Coward.
“I’m sorry Em, have a Merry Christmas,” I whispered as I walked out into the cold night air.
Walking down the snow covered road didn’t bother me. The cold suited my particular mood at that moment. I was so angry that I wasn’t shocked to see that my feet were melting the snow with each step. What’s wrong with me? Why am I this way? Why do I have to be so broken around him? I’ve had these same questions rattle though by head since the day he left me for Emily.
I turned to see Sam walking towards me from down the road. I turned and started running through the forest. The last thing I needed was Sam giving me a guilt trip for making Emily feel uncomfortable. I hid behind a tree and stripped off my clothes. I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and secured my clothes with it around my leg.
“Leah, come on I just want to talk,” Sam yelled.
I didn’t even need to get angry to phase. The sound of Sam’s voice was enough to help the process. With my clothes still tightly secured to my leg I made for a dead sprint through the forest. I just needed to get away from everything. Christmas was hard enough being alone. Everyone around me had an imprint, but me. I didn’t need to be reminded of what I used to have. And I didn’t feel like hearing another ‘we can still be friends’ speech.
Please Leah, I just want to talk. I can’t believe he phased and went after me.
Get a clue Sam. I don’t want to talk. Go back and enjoy the party. I was a good two miles in front of him, but I was more than confident he was gaining on me. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and found myself at the cliffs. I skidded to a stop and lowered my head in defeat. When I heard Sam’s panting from behind me I turned and looked at him.
Please Leah, just talk to me. He begged
I let a low growl escape through my teeth. Fine, give me a minute. I’ll be right back.
I quickly hid behind a near bush and phased back. I got dressed and walked back out while tying my hair back up. Sam had already phased too and was buttoning up his shirt. I wasn’t going to let awkward silence prolong this conversation any longer than it needed to be. I stepped closer to him and crossed my arms.
“Alright Sam, you stopped me. What do you want?”
“You didn’t need to leave. It’s Christmas Leah. It’s about family. And as much as you think you don’t belong, you do.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I know it’s hard for you to be around all of us…”
“No Sam, just you,” I cut in angrily. “I’ll deal with having to work with you for the sake of the pack, but I’m not going to put myself through anymore unnecessary pain.”
He let out a deep sigh. “It doesn’t have to be this way Leah. We can still be… friends.”
Oh you have got to be kidding me. “Sorry Sam, I’ll respect you as an ally, but anything more than that is asking too much.” I knew I was hurting him, but I didn’t care. He had Emily and I had no one. My anger was, to me, completely justified.
“Then what do you want from me?” he yelled.
Fine you want to play this game. Let’s go. I walked over to him and pushed him. “I want you to leave me alone,” I yelled back. “I want you to stop looking at me like some damaged little girl,” I pushed him again. “I want you to stop treating me like a burden. As if I really wanted to be part of this situation anyway.” I was getting angrier. Not because of what Sam was bringing out of me, but because I swore to myself I would never let him see me cry over him. “I hate the person I’ve become because of all this. Because of you.”
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “You think this is easy for me? You think I’m not in pain too? Every time I see you I suffer inside. Every time I see you I’m reminded of the pain I’ve caused you.”
I sobbed in defeat. “Then let me go. Let me break away and leave. I can’t handle being here anymore. I can’t handle seeing you two…”
He pulled me into his chest and held me while I cried. He rubbed my back and whispered softly in my ear. “I’m so sorry Leah. Not a day goes by when I don’t say that to myself.” I went to pull away, but he stopped me. He took his hands from around me and rested them on each side of my face. “I’m sorry. I never wanted this for you.”
I tried to shake my face out of his hands but he held me tight. I tried to hold back my tears, but being this close to Sam just allowed them to fall harder. “Sam, please stop. You don’t need to do this," I whispered. I couldn’t even look at him. I felt his face start to inch closer to mine. I started to shake in fear. Please don’t. I don’t think I can take it. “Sam, please...,” but he cut me off with a kiss. My tears flowed even harder and the feeling of his warm soft lips pressed against mine. His hands slowly slid from my face to my waist where he pulled me tightly against him. Like the flick of a switch, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in even tighter. I opened my mouth to let his tongue in. I bit and sucked furiously on his bottom lip when he reached for my ass to lift me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I didn’t even know we were moving until I felt myself being pressed against a nearby tree. I let out a breathless gasp.
“God help me I forgot how soft you felt,” Sam whispered huskily against my neck. I looked down at him and started unbuttoning his shirt. When I reached the last one I slowly let my hands roam up his bare stomach towards his chest and onto his shoulders, letting his shirt fall to the floor. Needing to feel my skin against his, I quickly tugged at the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head letting it fall next to us. I leaned in and continued my assault to his mouth. He slowly lowered me onto the soft snow where he reached under my bra and kneaded my breast. I moaned against his lips as he started pinching and rubbing my nipple. I could feel his hard erection pressing against my leg.
“Oh God Sam, please,” I gasped when he rubbed himself against me. I didn’t know why I was letting myself go through with this but at that moment, I knew I needed it. It’s been so long since I felt Sam’s warm body against mine. It was intoxicating and overwhelming at the same time. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize that Sam had already peeled off my pants and underwear. He lowered his head and lifted my leg over his shoulder. I screamed his name when I felt his tongue lick between my wet folds.
“Oh God, Sam, don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” I gasped as I gripped my hands into his hair and slightly bucked my hips. I could feel the pressure in my body building. He held me down by my waist and started dipping his tongue inside me. I moaning incoherently when I felt the waves of pleasure release though my body. When he was done he slowly slid back up my body and placed a soft kiss on my lips. He lifted his hand and carefully brushed the still falling tears from my eyes. This was the Sam I remember. This was the man who looked at me as if I was the most beautiful creature that walked the earth. This was my Sam, the love of my life. I wrapped my legs around him to better guide him into me. I was expecting for him to plunge right in, but he was soft and gentle with my body. Inch by inch, he took his time with me and a low moan escaped both of our mouths when he was finally complete. He rested his forehead on my shoulder.
“I never stopped loving you, Leah. I never forgot how wonderful it felt being inside you,” he whispered as he kissed my shoulder and started slowly moving in and out of me. I closed my eyes and held him tightly to my body so he couldn’t see the tears falling from my face. I bit my bottom lip to hold back the soft sob’s that threatened to leave my chest. He pulled back and stroked my face still continuing the mellow rhythm of our bodies. “Look at me Leah.” I opened my eyes. He knelt down and grazed my lips. “Never forget that.” He pressed his lips firmly against mine as he started gradually moving faster inside me.
I knew this was probably only going to be a one night thing. I knew in my heart that Sam would never try to leave Emily for me. He couldn’t even if he wanted to, but right at that very moment, Sam was mine. I scratched my nails down his back which only caused him to move even faster. He shifted slightly and then lifted me up so that I was now sitting on him, facing him. I looked deep into his eyes as I felt him reach behind me and unclasp my bra, letting it fall down my body. He let his hand brush softly over my breasts before grabbing my bra and throwing it off to the side. He then pulled my hair tie out of my hair and let my long locks fall around me. I began to grind my hips into him as he started kneading my breasts. I almost fell back to the ground from the pleasure I was experiencing. He held my ass with one hand and the back of my neck with the other to help me grind faster. I felt the aching pleasure building inside me again. “Oh my God, Sam. I’m so close.”
He leaned in and licked the sweat off my neck. “Come on baby,” he whispered, squeezing my ass. “Come for me.” I threw my head back as I rode out another mind blowing orgasm. When I was done I rested my forehead on his shoulder. The hot sweat from our bodies melted the snow around us, and caused steam to rise from the ground. He was still hard inside me. I can’t believe I forgot about Sam’s stamina. He would go for hours if I let him. Maybe tonight I just might. I felt him pulse himself inside me and I let out a soft laugh. I lifted my head up and rested my forehead on his. We were both breathing hard.
“Follow me,” I said as I kissed his lips and got up feeling slightly wobbly. He took my hand and followed me to a large boulder off to the right. I kissed his lips and then turned to rub my ass against his hard member. He let out a loud growl and bent me over the rock. With a hard thrust he was inside me again. I steadied my hands as best as I could on the slick rock. Our bodies were slamming into each other so hard I thought we could have started an avalanche. He leaned in over me and whispered in my ear for me to look at him. I looked over my shoulder and bit my bottom lip. He kissed my shoulder and reached between my legs to play with clit. It was as if we couldn’t stop looking into each others eyes, like we were one person again. Completely in tuned to one another's need for connection. His breathing became unsteady as he started going faster. I bit harder on my lip as I felt my third orgasm rip though my body. Not even a second later Sam let out a loud howl and collapsed on top of me.
When Sam got off of me and walked away I allowed myself to fall to the ground. Did that just really happen? I looked around and grabbed my discarded clothing. Behind me, I saw Sam putting his clothes back on and I quickly did the same. When I finished I sat on the ground, leaning against the rock. I’ve never paid attention to how beautiful it is out here. The bright moon light showed how the snow perfectly blanketed the forest trees for miles. It was so peaceful and quiet I was shocked that I didn’t notice that Sam came over and sat next to me. We sat there for a long time not saying a word.
“I should go,” Sam finally whispered, still looking straight ahead.
“I know,” I whispered back, also maintaining my visual of the trees.
He turned his head to look at me. “I can stay a little longer if you want me to.”
The concern in his voice made me smile. “That would be nice.” I knew I was just prolonging the inevitable, but I figured I was already being selfish so why not continue a little longer. A cold breeze past through us and we both looked up at the sky.
Sam let out a soft laugh. “You smell that?”
I nodded. “It smells like snow.” As soon as the words left my mouth soft flakes started falling from the sky. I shook my head and laughed at the stupid thoughts of the song White Christmas running through my head. So cheesy. Sam got up and kissed the top of my head. He looked down at me for a long time and then started walking towards the trees. He stopped and looked at me, but I just looked down at my hands. “Leah...Happy Birthday.”
A small laugh left my lips. He was the only one that ever remembered. “Thanks, Sam. Merry Christmas.” I could tell he was still there. Just tell him Leah. Tell him you still love him. “Sam,” I looked up, but he was gone. “I love you too,” I whispered to myself, feeling new tears build up in my eyes. I looked up at the sky again to try to blink them away, but it was no use. I sat there for the rest of the night crying in hopes that the sun would never rise again.