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Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on February 22, 2011 at 9:12am

LOL You mean like the soggy O's???? Eeeeewwww!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!

Comment by Jovana <3 on February 20, 2011 at 10:36am

well the pic went  kind of in a circle LOL

Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on February 19, 2011 at 7:58am

LOL where?

Comment by Jovana <3 on February 19, 2011 at 5:11am

omfg! kristyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...lol Mj i know where she got dom's pic lol

Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on February 17, 2011 at 8:50am

LMFAO!!!!! Where in the hell did you get this?

Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on January 1, 2011 at 10:08pm

K Thanks for the info, I am looking forward reading them ALL!!!!! I have a joke to share.

I have learned that pleasing EVERYONE is too hard, but p****** everyone off is a piece of cake.

This next joke goes to Edwin.......

Dear Edwin. Your penis is not Pinocio's nose. It does not get bigger every time you lie about its size.

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

 

Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on November 29, 2010 at 9:00am

OK Here is another great moment with my wonderful mother!!!

It was Saturday night. I invited my best friend Brandy over for dinner. We were cleaning up, and I was in the dinning room getting more dishes. My mom asked Brandy if she sees the rack for her portable oven. Brandy couldn't find it. So she tells her to ask me if I knew where it was. As I am walking out of the dinning room, Brandy approaches me and says, "MJ have you seen your mom's rack?" I look at her like WTF????? Brandy sees the look on my face and said, "OMG that is not what I ment!!!!!' I go up to my mom laughing and say, "Mom I NEVER have seen your RACK before." YOU would think by now my mom knew what we were talking about.....NOPE!!! She is looking at me like WTF is wrong with you! She says, "Yes you did!! Last night we put it in the oven!" STILL she is looking at us like WTF??? Then she says, "WHat the F*** is SO funny? I washed it up here in the KITCHEN last night!"

After that we couldn't say anything for like an hour. We where laughing so hard it felt great! When she did figured it out she tells me that I get my dirty mind for my dad. I guess so because he knew what we were talking about right when it was said. THANKS DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by LePetiteDeviante▲ on November 29, 2010 at 7:18am

im bored o.o so i wanted to write something really dirty here...but than i didnt remeber anything dirty and funny to share whit my muffies.....so sorry (" ,)

Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on October 27, 2010 at 10:31pm

Well ladies I have yet another tail to tell. It is about my son Kobey dirty mind!!

Orion, Kobey and I where sitting at the table having a snack. FOr some weird reason Orion started to talk about ANNOYING TV shows. I said, "When I was a teen everyone hated Barney. DO you know who he is?" They both said yes. Then Orion said, "I heard Barney did something BAD while fliming the show." I said, "yeah I heard the same thing, but they didnt say what he did to get fired." Kobey said, "Maybe the man in side the the suit was showing the kids his OWN SPECIAL Purple Headed Dino, or trying to compare to see who was bigger."..................... MJ's Jaw hit the floor, and froze looking at her son with BIG large eyes. I couldnt beleive that my 10 YEAR old SON just said that!! I was SHOCKED!!!! But then I started to laugh HARD!! I almost choked. All I could say to him was OMG!!!! Kobey that is just SO not right, GROSS, how......what......who......Damn it dont say that again." he said, "If I cant say that again why are you laughing?" "Just dont do it!" So you would think that is the end of that WRONG!!! Muff Diver heard us laughing so he comes into the room and asked what was so funny. Orion said, "We were talking about Barney and that he got fired from doing something bad while they where fliming. Mom heard the same thing but doesnt know what he did wrong, Kobey said, "Maybe the man in side the the suit was showing the kids his OWN SPECIAL Purple Headed Dino, or trying to compare to see who was bigger." Muff Diver looks at me to see if Orion was really telling the truth. I Nodded..... He said, "Well we know where he gets his dirty mind from." And walks out the room. LMFAO!!!!!

Comment by MJ-Muff (`) StoryTeller on October 26, 2010 at 9:06am

Here is a joke I know you will like. I hope you haven’t read it before.
The Hannigans were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Hannigan kissed his wife and said, “Well I’m off now. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door to door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning, Ma’am,” He said. “I’ve come to…”
“Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Hannigan cut in embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.” “Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?”
“Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.” After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”
“Bathtub, living room floor? NO wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and I.”
“Well ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from 6 or 7 angles. I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
“My that is a lot!” gasped Mrs. Hannigan.
“Ma’am in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”
“Don’t I know it.” Said Mrs. Hannigan, quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on top of a bus,” he said.
“Oh, my God!” Mrs. Hannigan exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well- when you consider their mother was difficult to work with.”
“She was difficult” she asked.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around 4 and 5 deep to get a good look.”
“4 to 5 feet DEEP?” said Mrs. Hannigan, her eyes wide with amazement.
“Yes, and for more than 3 hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling- I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”
“Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh….equipment?
“It’s true, Ma’am, yes. Well, if you are ready, I’ll set up my tripod and we can get started right away.”
“Tripod?” “Oh yes ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand for very long.”
-THUMP- that’s the sound of Mrs. Hannigan fainting.

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