Awoke

 

Numbers.

 Digits.

 My brain was like a computer. I prosessed the oncoming information that clouded my mind, and made sense of those digits the only way possible.

I began counting, waiting. Waiting for the sake of waiting. Waiting for anything. Anything different. Pain? Or perhaps the crushing weight, the finality of death, - its presence seemed to have become less of an obvious, blatant truth. The crushing weight of fear was easing, as the toxic shroud of endless burning and solitude eased off from its crouching prowl towards my defenceless, corpse of a soul, it creeped into the deep corner of a contour in my brain.

Three hundred thousand one digits later, there was change.

Through the thick, heavy blinding cloak of black- that seethed my perceptions- , things became clearer. A form of gratification sprang to life, pranced in depth to the change, leaping, diving, twirling, filling. Blotches of what I thought were colours raced to the rythymn of the dance thrown up by my gratification, my relief. I began to see through the haze that blinded me and paralyzed me. I was gaining strength, my thoughts crept back to me, became my own.

 

A waft brushed what I thought was my skin. It was cool.  This was so unexpected.  I was able to feel. The emotion I previously wanted to feel came to life. Shock. Something caught inside me. In my body. I had a body again. What I thought was my lungs filled slowly. They expanded and shrunk with the oxygen I was previously unaware of.

I had senses.

“Breathe!” voices commanded.

I was alive? 

Everything was still a black h***. And I was still trapped. I couldn’t locate my limbs. It still wasn’t possible. 

I was becoming aware, being shocked and forced into a reality I was too trapped to locate.

Considering I could feel the temperature of where I was, I continued to search. Search further, delve deeper. To find more sensations. There was no other way to occupy myself. I wanted to live once more, I clung on to the edge this time, fought.

I concentrated on my surroundings. Perhaps I was outside, as I had once been an eternity ago? That may explain the waft on my skin, perhaps it was the wind?-something I dreamt to feel again, thought that it was no longer possible. Perhaps.

 A sharp pressure pressed down on what I thought was my stomach several times, in reaction my breath caught in rapid patterns.

A draft brushed against my face... A sigh?

“How long has she been unconscious?”

Silence.

“Well?” the same voice questioned.

Silence, again.

 

Another sigh huffed out from the source of where the voice came from. “Okay, well I suppose all that does matter at this present moment in time is that she’s through the worst...for now.” Another sigh brushed my skin...it seemed almost hesitant? Purposeful, as if there was a deep meaning attached to his words.  “Thank you for bringing her in,” he said as hands brushed along my skin, “by the way, what’s your name? Are you of any relation to this girl?”

 

“No,” was all that the voice said in reply. There was something, and I didn’t know what that something was about that sweet sigh of a voice that sent shivers down my spine, raised every hair on my body...

“Ahhh...!..” the man shouted as hands- left my skin, “Oxygen!” 

I hadn’t realised until he said ‘Oxygen’, that the familiar pattern of air being dragged through my throat had stopped.

I heard the clatter of metalic objects hitting the floor, the brush of footsteps, the faint whisper of swear words.

Why was that man worried about me? I was fine, after all...

I tried to locate my lungs once more, and searched for the air that was deprived from my body.

Even though I’d my eyes closed, I sensed that there were eyes resting on me.

 

I struggled to take deep breaths... they clung to the inside of my scorched, parched mouth and throat. I wanted something to ease the uneasy feeling. Moisture, I wanted a liquid to quench the dry.

 

 ‘Um, Mr...?’

‘Alexander...’, the sigh replied.

Busy hands belonging to several people replaced the doctor’s.

‘Right, well Mr Alexander, based on security purposes, there are some details I need to be informed on, questions to be asked,’  a brush of air washed over my skin as the doctor continued to talk, ‘first off, how did she acquire the head wound located at the base of her skull? Accident, inflicted?’ there were no responses belonging to Alex, only the sounds of my deep breaths, the sounds of machines beeping, ‘We’ve established that you are not this girl’s relative, are you linked to this girl in the form of a friend perhaps?’

‘Perhaps, you should leave the questioning to the police?’ a woman replied.

‘How did you find her? Where was she located?’ his voice gradually rose after each question.

‘He’s gone’ , the woman said, this time he didn’t ignore her words.

‘Something’s not right,’ he muttered. ‘Wait a minute, you’re not Michelle, where are all the nurses?’ ‘They were here a moment ago,’ he mumbled.

‘Sorry...?’she replied.

‘You’re a visitor? Visiting hours are over, sorry. Ask a nurse for the times...’

‘Apologies for my brother, he felt the need to leave, it was upsetting for him to see her this way...’

‘But, I thought he wasn’t...’ the doctor questioned. 

‘...a relative?’, she interrupted, ‘Oh, well not as such, more of a close friend actually.’

A friend? I hadn’t recognised his voice.

‘Oh, I, ugh, um...’ he stuttered.

‘It’s okay,’ she reassured, ‘you didn’t know, he didn’t say.’

‘Wait, what’s your name, is this girl your friend...?’

She sighed, ‘I’m Susan, she’s my sister in-law, but I tend to see her as a friend more than part family.’

Susan?! There wasn’t anyone I knew that went by that name. Why was this stranger making false accusations? She had no right! The anger was building my strength, fueling my senses and perceptions.

‘Oh my, I’m terribly sorry for my rudeness, continue, please’ , he pleaded.

‘Well, I am sort of in a rush at this moment.’

Oh, so, now that she’d lied, pretended to care, acted nonchalantly and such, she then decides to forget and leave?!!

 

What I believed was my heart hammered repeatedly, boiling my blood, skin tightened over the knuckles of my hand, wires attached protested, beeps sounded in all directions from the machines which surrounded me. My eyes flickered open to find a woman in her early thirties, she had blonde, almost white curly hair that reached to the small of her back, her skin, sculpted to an unnatural bone white.  Piercing, stabbing red, glaring eyes stared down at me, a fierce scowl planted on her face, she was bouncing rhythmically on her feet, on edge-she reminded me of someone, something... I gasped as suddenly she pounced over to my body, crushed my bones, made blood seep from digging her nails into my skin, forced her teeth to cut through my skin, while she dragged the blood from my system.

 

A flash of light struck my vision, blinded me as I howled in agony. Susan still bounced on edge, eyes glaring at me, she was stood beside the door before the attack, beside the alarmed doctor. I still shrieked, howled, gasped for air, stared at her in disbelief with wide eyes, tears streaming down my face, I was sat up.

She dropped her gaze and smirked. The doctor rushed to my side.

‘Nurse!’ , he screamed, searching for assistance.

‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no...’, I begged, mumbled as I shook my head, all the while with my eyes trained on her, it.

‘Shh, shh, sh,’ he pleaded reassuringly as he stroked my hair.

A team of roughly five nurses rushed through the door -as the creature left. They tried to soothe me, whispered sweet words. Pinned me down as they injected something into my system. Onlookers, curious hospital staff, concerned, freaked out patients next door grouped, turning heads searching just before curtains surrounding my bed were drawn.

The substance entering my system was taking hold as my screams were being muffled. Nurses and doctors bent over me all took form to the creature known as Susan.

 

I didn’t sleep, it was too deep to be called sleep, not blissful, un-natural, uncomfortable, concerning. I didn’t dream either, just another wall of a black h*** crushed down on me, beyond my ability to control or tame.

I didn’t know how long I’d been out for, but as I gradually came around, there was a sharp stinging cloud which filled my head. My arms and legs felt stiff, as if I hadn’t moved from the time in which I was unwillingly sent into the land of slumber.  

A pressure was felt. Something pressed against my back, the back of my legs and neck. It was firm, not hard, and was soft. It must’ve meant I was lying down.

 

I used the feel of my lungs contracting to judge time, to help me count the seconds. No one bothered to approach me for the remainder of the day, they probably thought I’d gone insane. I thought I’d gone insane, there was no use in denying it-the hallucinations, the apparent ability to see into the future using my dreams, “brainwashing” people, imagining the existence of mystical, sickening creatures, the constant persuit of irrational, paranoid thoughts... I always knew my imagination would get the better of me someday, I used to joke of it, be like any other ordinary child, hold conversations, tea parties with teddy bears, I let the dreams, stories, imaginated possibilities to take over, and willingly so, even. The only technique of coping, was to do the one thing I knew instinctly, and that was to ignore, hide, run from the possibilities of the fact that I needed help...

 

 


NOT to be used without my permission!  This belongs to me, Jessica Woolridge.

 

Respect my decision.

 

Xx

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