“He’s gone…” I whispered.
How could this be happening to me?
Didn’t this somehow go against his stupid wolf, shape shifter, imprinting stuff? How could he just leave me here? No note, no nothing.
I stood there alone and realized the sad truth. He forgot something when he left. He forgot me.
More or less, he left me which is even worse than forgetting.
“He took my heart with him…” I said, almost inaudible to a human, my vampire mom heard me, she always did. She had heard me cry all morning.
I felt an ice cold hand touch my shoulder.
“He’ll be back.”
“How do you know that?” I said with a horrid tone in my voice.
“Sweetheart, he has done it before. To his family, to me. He is my best friend, Nessie. He’ll be back.” Her perfect voice cracked on the last word. I could hear the uncertainty in her words and let a sob escape my empty chest.
“Yeah, but he loved you.” I could tell she was smiling even though my back was to her.
“Renesmee, he loves you more than he EVER loved me.” This she said with absolute confidence and it helped to ease the pain I was feeling. I shook my head. My mom patted my shoulder and kissed my head. “Don’t give up on him love.” And with that she walked out of the room to leave me with myself and an empty bed.
“Why should I, he gave up on me.” I almost heard a snicker but I didn’t care. We all knew I could never give up on him. He was my everything.
I carefully placed my hand on the sea of covers left over from the night before. I could remember it perfectly. I could remember every word he had said to me last night.
Last night had been the best night of my life. How could I forget?
I sat down on my side of the bed and closed my eyes, forcing tears to drop.
“Yeah.” He stopped kissing me to let me get my word in.
“How can I not? Aren’t you scared?”
“Nope. When you love someone as much as I love you, you don’t get scared. You just, I don’t know. Go with the flow I ‘spose.”
“Oh.” He kissed me again and I wouldn’t let him.
“Can I go to the bathroom real quick?”
He flashed me his perfect smile. “Sure, sure. You can do whatever you want Ness.”
I smiled a nervous smile and headed for the bathroom. I closed the door. We both knew that I didn’t have to go to the bathroom. I was scared. I couldn’t understand how this could be so easy for him. I had always been afraid that if I gave in, he would leave me like how guys always do in movies. I looked at my forever 24 –aged face.
“He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.” I told the image in the mirror. “Just, DO IT. You know you want to. He loves you.”
I walked out to the bed to find him lying there, staring at the ceiling.
“What on earth are you doing?” I asked, hands on my hips. My nightgown was bunched up under my fists and I suddenly felt self-conscious. I went to the bed and got under the sheets.
“Just waiting for you.” He smiled again and I couldn’t help to return it. He leaned over me and started kissing me again. I kissed back- fiercely and let go of everything I had. Within minutes, my nightgown that had made me feel so worthless was on the floor and we--
I shook off the memory, too afraid to face the love I had felt only hours ago. By now, I was lying on the bed and holding on to the sheets on Jacob’s side of the bed. Holding on for dear life, I was breaking. I finally opened my eyes and saw the white ceiling above me. I took in one deep breath and blinked once. Every time I closed my eyes, he was there, only when I opened my eyes, he wasn’t. I wanted so badly to live with my eyelids wrapped around my eyes, but I couldn’t- that was for sure.
I turned to lie on my side and looked at the empty spot where he had been last night. He had been so close to me. He was everywhere and I didn’t want it any other way. Now he was nowhere, and I didn’t know what to do. I closed my eyes once more.
I looked over at Jacob and smiled. I pulled myself closer to him, and he embraced it by wrapping his strong arms around my not-so-fragile body. His eyes were shut.
“Do you still love me?” he opened his eyes and kissed my forehead gently
“Why do you always ask me that?” I knew he would think that my request was beyond ridiculous, I answered anyways.
“I’m always afraid you will leave me.”
“I would ALWAYS come back, you know that.” I was silent. I didn’t want to admit my insecurities. I didn’t know if he would.
“And ‘sides, why would I do that? I love you Ness.”
I opened my eyes again. I could almost hear him. I love you Ness.
“I love you too, Jacob. I love you with all my heart. Please come back.”
There was no reply.