My story is depressing.
In the past, about two years ago, something happened to me that almost killed me; I fell in love.
He was my first love; my first everything really. I met him in Middle school when I was an 8th grader. You can call it love at fist sigh, I guess. Because that’s how it felt… to me anyway.
We were always together, even if we had to go our separate ways, we would call each other until we had to go to sleep.
It stayed like that for 2 and half years… Then at the beginning of my sophomore year he changed.
He kept saying things about how he likes my body and he kept getting physical with me. But I didn’t care… I was stupid enough not to care. So a week later it was our anniversary. He said he had a surprise for me. He told me he’ll pick me up at 7:30. I was so excited and happy.
But little did I know what’s gonna happen next…
I put on a short dress; I bought in the past and made my self look great. Even my mom was so happy for me. She had told me that I looked beautiful and she even told me that maybe, just maybe he was going to propos. When she said that to me I was shocked. I didn’t even think about that. What if he does? Then I got more nervous.
Tom then picked me up and was on the road…
I asked him to where we were going, but he said it’s a surprise. Then he stopped at his house, and I don’t need to say more.
He said, if I loved him I would do this.
We had already talked about this in the past and I told him that I wanted to wait till marriage. He got mad at me and went to the kitchen.
I just stood there waiting. I was telling my self he just needs time.
He was in there for about 10 minutes, then I said, “Tom you okay?” He then came back almost falling then he caught himself. He had a beer bottle in his hand. Was he drinking?!
I asked him and he started laughing. Then he put the bottle down and grabbed me from the waist. He started to kiss me violently and I could taste the beer. I tried to push him but he was too strong.
I started to push and hit but he didn’t back off. I was so scared. Then I hit him under the belt. He finally let go of me and was on the floor groaning and cussing me off. I grabbed my purse and started to run to the door, and tried to open it but it was locked. I looked back at Tom and he was getting up. I started running to the stairs. I opened the first door I saw, and locked it fast. I was breathing hard.
What am I supposed to do now?
I got my cell from my purse and called my mom.” Mom… mom help me… “I was whispering so he wouldn’t find me. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until I started to talk. “Bella! What’s wrong!?” my mom shouted.
“I’m in Tom’s house, please help me. He’s trying to hurt me…” I said crying. Then I gasped when I heard Tom Beating on the door. “Mom!” I screamed. I didn’t hear her say anything. “Mom…?” I looked at the screen and she was gone. Tom was still screaming. I sat there holding myself and crying.
I couldn’t give up. I told myself to get up!
I looked around the bathroom and there was another door. But I was scared to open it. The door was about to break because of Tom. He was pushing and shouting.
I got up and opened the other door. When I opened it I gasped. Tom was in front of me. He then got my neck and was choking me. He put me down on the bed and got on top of me and was trying to take my dress off. I started to thrash. “Get off of me!” I screamed, trying to push him off. “Just shut up and enjoy. I’ve been waiting a long time for this baby!” He said. “Please don’t do this… Please! Get off me!” then he punched me.
Then I was unconscious…
“Bella, sweetheart…?” I heard my dad say. Dad? What was he doing here? I started to open my eyes but it hurt. I gasped and groaned. “Bella?” I opened my eyes. “Dad?” I looked at him confused. Tears in my eyes.
“Bella!” my mom shouted and came to hug me. I looked at her confused too. “What-what happened?” I stuttered…
They told me everything. The police got there as soon as I was unconscious and took care of Tom. He didn’t do anything to me. Except violently, thrash and punch me. I was out for 3 days in the hospital.
Life goes on…
Even if you are not ready.
As days went by, I kept having nightmares. I would scream and cry. Renee would comfort me; sometimes cry with me and tell me that everything will be ok. But I knew nothing will be ok.
Days then went to weeks and I was still in agony. I would hardly eat or sleep.
I didn’t know what to do.
Three weeks past. One night I when I had a nightmare I couldn’t take it anymore. I got Up and went to the bathroom and opened a pill bottle and threw all the pills in my hand.
But I just stared at it. I was crying a sobbing and staring at; to me was my freedom of agony, the pills.
Then I threw it on the floor and screamed, “Damn it!!” and fell to the floor.
Renee then came “Bella!?” she sat next to me and held me.”Bella” she whispered. I take it she saw the pills.
Then she held my face and made me look at her.
“Bella this needs to stop. I know it’s hard but you have to try.”
“You’re killing yourself for nothing.”
I just cried more.
“Bella look at me”. And I did.
“Tom does not deserve your tears. He doesn’t deserve you period. He hurt you and you should move on.”
“What do you think he’s doing right now huh? Crying for you? Suffering for you? He sure as hell is not!”
“He probably moved on to another girl now. He doesn’t care Bella! You have to understand if he did he wouldn’t have done this to you. A creep like that doesn’t deserve you! YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?”
I started to think.
Of course! Why didn’t I see or think about this before? I was so hurt and shocked of what he did to me that I didn’t even consider to think about these things. He was my first ever love and because I never had a relationship before, this is how I reacted.
I then blinked a few times. Then I looked at my mom’s confused face.
I sighed.” I’m sleepy. I wanna sleep.” I said. She helped me up and took me to my bed. She tucked me in and I felt the sleepness nights.
Next day I opened my eyes and smiled. I am over the past and looking forward to the future!
I went down stairs and hugged my mom so tight. “I love you mom…” I whispered.
Then I started eating, sleeping, and living my life to the fullest, as I can. But I promised myself that I will never fall or trust a boy ever.