"to my lost soul: why wouldn't they leave me alone? i wish you were here, with me. i wish i could see you. did you ever thought of what we might be doing now, if you were with me? your face, oh god! my imagination will never make you justice. i need my soul. love you, it's the only excuse i have!"

i didn't want to go anywhere with him. i worked very slowly, to make my desaproval very clear. seriously, what…

"to my lost soul: it's been soo long since the last time we talked.i have the impression my heart have stopped bitting from that day! we said many things, good things and unpleasant things. the abscence, not hearing you beautiful voice...it's so unbearable i can hardly breath. i confess, i'm totally and irrevocably dependent on you very person. ps: i love you, it's the only…

I found myself singing too. playing time to time his smile and the way he looked that day , in my head. doing that was really painful but it was a pain i could bear. a pain that took me some how, to my happy place; by his side.

I managed to get off the floor , while singing. i have to admit one…

"To my lost soul: How?...how could you do that to me? i thought you loved me. You said you loved me. so why? why did you left me? i..I'm soo....please my love, come back to me. please come...i'm begging...come back to me. there's no way i could live through this,, live without you ..OHH..OH..OH..OH my God, give him back to me...."

It was nice Jared wasn't with me…

" could you ask me the question in ......well...let say in awhile. i might have your answer by then" he chuckled. it was strange how nice it feels to talk. " feel better? " the voice in my head asked. i stiffened. "ooooooh please, it's not like.....anywhere just...answer the question" okay! well, it seemed i was in my worst. i'm now losing my mind.

"what's wrong?"…

the throbbing of my heart was accelerating and the air was coming out of my mouth too quickly....too.....quic.......kly...... " calm down kate, calm.....down" i try to calm down as the voice in my head was shouting to me. i was first shocked by the voice in my head but i couldn't concentrated too long in that thought 'cause i was now gasping for air. " calm down...NOW... you idiot!"…

3 weeks! 3 weeks! that is all it took me to read the saga, including the host. i couldn't have thought it posssible. for me anywhere, since i'm not what you people will call a reader adict ( i can use that word, right?).

Edward cullen! the world's perfection. so as everybody say. clarification: i'm part of that " everybody" lol. i did find my…

"kate, we are very sorry. the police brought us this new early this morning. ........... is.....he is ........." i couldn't understand what they were trying to tell me. It was confusing to see them struggling to find the appropriate word. i kept staring at them, seeing how pain and frustration distorted thier faces.

it was his mother, who made me realise what they were trying…

2 july. it's vacation and I'm in my room. In my…