I took a step backwards. And i knew that it was not just a step, but it was my back off.........I knew that the little leech had betrayed us! We should have understood that long before,during the early days. But Bella loved her baby and he loved her too...I could not think the monster calling 'baby'. It was amongst Bella's wishes and i knew that he will fulfill her demands even if they are bigger or stupid. But i never thought even in my dreams that he'll fulfill her this wish. But the monster loved her,and he could not hate what loved Bella.....maybe that's the reason he was not able to hate me either......
I backed off...all we could do would be useless now....i knew it was all over....Bella's effort to keep her heart beating was not successful. And that was it! Edward was pressing her stopped heart forcefully for it to beat. He was biting her all over her body for his venom to spread and sealing it shut with his saliva. He was acting quick,mechanically on her body. But i knew it was all over,there was no hope. Or it had faded for me.....
The fact that i backed off was that the longing was over,the pull was over. We both were seeing the grave of the girl we both loved. I suddenly thought Edward should live....He deserved living with this pain,the sharp pain as it used to be mine. He should suffer through this and realize every second that this situation is the result of his mistake. Because he dint did anything when he should have....
Some unknown force was dragging me down,out in the forest,to go away from here.
"then go away!"Edward shouted hearing my thoughts.
"She's not dead" he murmured but i was not sure he was even talking to me now. So i headed to go out. I wanted to run the way out, as fast as i could,from here....But my legs felt numb they dint support. I crawled down the stairs like an old man. It was then, when i realized my eyes had tears streaming down my face hot on my skin. I dint know what i was doing.....what i was feeling i had no words....because i dint know how to express them.
Bella had broken my heart many times,she had give me pain many times, she dint do that intentionally,i know. But this pain was the worst she gave me. And what were the Cullen's waiting for..?Bella to die?Or trusting that leech monster not to kill her?I realized that the unknown force was sill dragging me somewhere......to the hall....?maybe...Maybe there was the solution.I got up and walked following the force. I could see Rosalie playing and feeding the monster. Feeding what?feeding blood.....yes blood what else it would eat?It even must be drinking Bella's blood !
I realized now what for the pull was, it was for me to finish off that leech....Sam was rite, that creature dint had the right to live in this world it had done too much for it to forgive. Bella would have hated me for this...but it dint mattered now. The pain she gave me was worth this...then why should i take her feelings on my account..? Rosalie would knock me down for doing this but i'll be able to defeat her and some other Cullen's too. And then Edward deserved the living with this pain . I was getting hotter.... more hotter with hate and feeling of revenge.... Rosalie knew i was there,but she was more absorbed in the creature to notice me....in the stolen motherhood. She must be happy now that Bella was not going to come to take that leech from her.
I moved forwards,my body getting hotter. Rosalie had catched the baby forward. That was a good position i thought,i would blow it with all my strength and hatred....I leaned to see, and the baby was staring me from behind the shoulders of Rosalie.Suddenly there was more heat getting hotter....more hotter,boiling me.But this time it was soothing.....it was not of burning now......it was glowing.
Everything inside me came undone, as i gazed at the half vampire,half human baby. All the lines, all the connections which held my life were sliced apart into swift cuts. Everything which made me who i was - the love for the dead girl upstairs,love for my dad,loyality to my new pack,love for my brothers,hatred towards my enemies,my home,my name,my self- disconnected from me in that second and floated in space. It was not drifting A new string, much stronger. Not a string a steel cable tied me to one thing, the very center of the universe.
I could see that now,the universe swirled around it- i never had seen the symmetry of the universe but it seemed plain now. The gravity of the earth no longer held me where i stood. The baby girl in the blonde vampires arms held me here now.
There was a new sound from somewhere....upstairs....that sound only touched me in the endless instant.
The franting pounding, a racing beat......
A changing heart.
This article is the expantion or you can say the hidden feelings explanation of chapter no.18 'There are no words for this' breaking dawn. The inner thoughts of Jacob explained about that specific chapter some word are used as it is in the article but it doesn't have any intention to change or challenge anything regarding the book. The article is only to see the scene from a different view or perspective.You can also log in to firstname.lastname@example.org or you can also give your suggestions ova here on this site. Thank you for reading!