The sound of Bella’s lullaby and Christina Perri’s A thousand years (that song couldn’t be more perfect) fills the air of my last days of a Twihard. No I don’t mean I am handing in my fandom card but since the first time we all watched Edward and Bella’s first kiss on screen we knew like all wonderful things this story must come to an end one day. And the day has past and gone The epic conclusion to the Phenomenon twilight has been released. Since Ive watched the conclusion i have been mourning ever since. Can this saga really be over? This is another one of Alice's visions right? I wish we could go back in time and re experience it all over again.
I think its time now that we reflect on our journey as twihards in this fandom. Weather you started (like myself) 4years ago with the movies, when the books came out, or even more recently. We all have had a journey to go through and fandom to become part of. Harry Potter and Twilight both instilled a passion for books that has led me to my future profession as a librarian. I am truly grateful for this fandom. Twilight has been an escape from the everyday struggles in life. Its seen the ups and downs in life. A comfort when I felt alone.
I started my Twi obsession in High School a young teen girl who loved mystery romance novels and anything supernatural related. Like all I was skeptical of this book and movie but I indulged and after mush persistence from my best friend (who Can be scary bossy like Alice), I succumbed to this new “fad”. Let me tell you I fell hard, straight into the craziness that was this fandom, and I haven’t seen light ever since. I found myself irrevocably in love with it. It had a worldwide romance with this book series. I ordered the books and devoured each book in one day food and sleep were unknown to me an enigma my mind found unable to comprehend I needed. Every page I turned I became more in love. Once I had finished the last sentences of breaking dawn (and then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever. That line still gets me chocked up) I knew this story would be in important part of my life. After watching the first movie and getting threw some cheesy dialogue (doesn’t stop me from loving it) I was gone for. The fandom had wormed it way into my heart, forever instilling a place. The Next few years I was known by all my friends as “the Twilight girl”. They couldn’t understand why I was I so obsessed with this “vampire thing” (as they referred to it) and those who did like twilight even thought my passion for it was crazy. Maybe I am crazy and that’s okay (10 points to who guess where this quote is from). Rob once said we were all Clinically Insane he is probably right.
My obsession or some may call it devotion grew. With every new trailer and movie still released I pouched on it like a mountain lion on its pray. I watched every new interview and spent hours on twilight fan sites. The amount of Twilight Fan fiction I have read would be surprising even the seasoned fanfic dweller. I memorized every line for every movie, done trivia, and stalked the stars like any good fan girl would do. And though I was never able to attend Fancamp, tent city, comic con, or the LA convention, I attended four twilight conventions in new jersey. In attending these conventions I made some great friends. I was able to immerse myself in an environment where I could let my let fangirl crazy flag fly freely (learned I could scream insanely loud) and not be worried weather I was being judged or not. Meeting some of the Twilight stars (18 of them and 1 director. Unfortunately never meet the Trinity) face to face brought their characters closer to my hearts. Characters that didn’t seem so important in the book now took on a whole new side. Being able to attend for convention brought me even closer to the fandom then I would have ever thought.
But as the years gone by I have slowly become less obviously obsessed as I once was. No longer do I spend all my days reading fanfiction, stalking the stars, or lurking on fansites. Okay so i still do ALL of those things but it doesn’t take up the majority of my days anymore. Maybe it’s because I know now this fandom better then Bella knows her love for Edward, but I don’t feel the need to cram my brain with twi facts now (that may be lie). I’m not that shy scared young girl trying to become the biggest fans of twilight anymore. Now that the saga has ended Like Bella, who transformed from fragile human to kick ass confident vamp, I have transformed as well no more a shy scared high school student now I am a shy, less scared college student (So my transformation wasn’t as dramatic as bella’s but she transformed into a vampire for gosh sakes give me a break) . New chapters of my life are opening, And when one chapter opens unfortunately one must close. But like a book I can always look back upon the chapters I have experienced.
I not saying ill be packing all my twilight stuff in a box and putting in the closet. It would take me ages to pack it all and find a big enough closet. If anything now I might just build that twilight shrine all my friends keep joking I have in my room (it more like a mini shrine). I not trying to forget the saga either it’s to central a part of life and to strip it away from my personality would be unthinkable. I just have to I need to go out and explore the world; I can’t hide behind Edward and the Cullen’s anymore.
Who am I kidding I’m still in denial that its truly over. Winter break Is coming Ill be catching up on fanfic and twi interviews all Christmas. Ill start exploring the world next semester. Or after Breaking Dawn part 2 Dvd is out. **I SO MUCH DENIAL OF THE END**
I want to thank Summit Entertainment for making me go broke these past years (seriously I spent to much money on twistuff yet I still find more to buy). Directors Bill Condon, David Slade, Chris Weitz, and Catherine Hardwick. Screen play writer Melissa Rosenberg. Producer Wyck Godfey. Music Composers Carter Burwell, Alexander Desplat, and Howard shore. All the Actors and crew members that made these movies possible. A special thank you to Rob, Kristen, and Taylor. And to the women who started it all Stephanie Meyer!
*shed tears* Twilight is all about forever and that’s exactly how long I will Love this Saga.
As Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years goes
The day we met,
Frozen I held my breath
Right from the start
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart...
I have loved you
For a thousand years!
I'll love you for a thousand more.
-Love Allyee (a devoted Twihard through and through FOREVER)