I woke up in darkness. That wasn’t new, I was used to being in the dark. Wasn’t I? Suddenly I didn’t know anymore. I stood up, a single fluid motion that surprised me. I was fast. Had I always been this fast? I felt around me. I was inside a room. I looked to the white bed with the white sheets. They were clean and spotless, except….blood? The pillow that I had apparently been lying on was stained with splotches of blood. I felt my head with my hand next, but there was nothing. Weird. Then I figured out that I could see in the darkness, faintly. There was a door. I tried it, though I somehow knew it was locked. But the handle came off under my small hands. Wow. I was strong too. Was everyone strong and fast like me? Was there even anyone else? Was there anyone like me? Was I a freak? I crept out the door. My motions were fluent and silent. Good. I didn’t know what or who I was or where I was. Wait. What was my name? Maybe I had hit my head. Maybe I was in a hospital. But it didn’t look like a hospital. At least, I didn’t think so. All of a sudden, I heard a scream. I cringed against one of the cold stone walls. My eyes closed. I had to get out of here. Then I stopped. My eyes shot open. I saw a building. It was a small tavern or café or something of that sort. Then a man entered. He was gorgeous, except for his red eyes. They looked….unnatural. But then my vision shifted and I saw myself. I was sitting on a stool, but when the stranger entered, I immediately got up and greeted him. Then the vision faded. I could hear the tortured, agonized, screaming again. I had to get out of here. I ran through the halls of this dark place. I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew that I HAD to get out. Just them, I ran into a man who was walking down the same hall I was running. I shoved him out of the way, and he fell against one of the cold stone walls. Then, I saw a door ahead. I burst through it into an open space. It was dark, except for the big circles of light that moved on the ground and shined from above. I ran. I could see a fence ahead, but I didn’t care. One of the lights fell on me, and then I heard several sirens start. I still didn’t care. Before I could realize what I was doing, I was over the fence. I guess I had jumped. It didn’t matter. I was out of that place. I turned around to look. I didn’t know what kind of building it was, or who was inside, or what, all I knew was that I hated it, for some reason. But it didn’t matter. I would never go back. No one would ever make me go back. I ran down the empty sidewalks, tying to get as far away as I could. And to find the man in the café. Suddenly I stopped. A few feet away from me stood a small child. She looked lost and sad. Then I looked at my arms. They held the lifeless body of the child. A small trickle of blood seeped from her neck. She was dead. Had I done this? It looked like it. Why? Why had I done this? WHAT had I done, exactly? I set the child on the ground. I was a monster. I wondered what I looked like. I moved across the street to a shop that still had its lights on. I looked in the window. Oh. My eyes were red too, like that man I had seen in the café. And my face. Was pale. But….I could see splotches of red around my lips. Oh. Right. Must be the blood. I went back across the street to the girl. I opened one of her eyes. They were blue. Hm. So I really WAS a monster. Was I some demon sent from hell, to reap destruction? Was I going to kill everyone? Was that my purpose? To DESTROY? I remembered ripping the handle off the door, and pushing the man, the blood on the pillow……..the girl. I was supposed to destroy everyone and everything I could. No one could stop me. I was faster, and stronger, and probably smarter too. But if I was so smart, why didn’t I remember anything about myself? Then I remembered the café. The café! I didn’t hurt anyone there. Was I waiting for the right chance? Was I waiting for the beautiful man with red eyes? So that we could destroy together? And then, in the midst of my wonderings, I had another vision. There were five of them. They looked…….like me. Pale skin and icy eyes. Except……their eyes were gold. And they didn’t look scary, like I felt I looked. And there was a house, white on the outside, and on the inside…..One of the walls was made of glass. It was green all around outside, and the sky was cloudy. I had to get there. Now. But…..then. I saw myself, with the handsome stranger. We were holding hands and walking up to the house. We seemed…..friendly. Were we going to destroy this place and the kind looking people inside? I couldn’t be sure WHAT we were going to do. Or what I was going to do, I thought, as I came back to reality. I had to find the café. Wherever it was, wherever HE was, THAT was my future. Whatever that was.


I had wandered the streets for days. I killed when I needed food, or drink, I should say. And then there it was. The café from my vision. I walked inside and sat down. I didn’t know how long I would have to wait. But it didn’t matter. I could wait as long as I had to. I could leave and eat and be back quickly. Besides, the café was probably closed at night. I could leave and come back, every day if I had to.

And that’s exactly what I did. For a full month I waited. And waited. And waited. I hunted at night, picking off those I didn’t think would be missed. I figured that it was best to remain hidden, until I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. And what I was. And who. Maybe the red-eyed stranger could give me some answers.

He finally showed up. I had waited about a month. I was busy staring off into space, and trying to find some answers in my mind, as usual. Then he entered.

He was wet. Oh, I guess it was raining this afternoon. I hadn’t noticed. The weather didn’t matter to me. I was inside all day, and even if I did go outside, weather never bothered me.

When he came through the door, I greeted him, just like in my vision. I wasn’t sure what to say; I had been trying to find the right words the whole time I was waiting.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” I said with a smile. Well, it was true.

“I'm sorry ma'am.” He said. His voice was amazing.

Then he looked at me curiously, and held out his hand. I took it, and then he spoke again.

“You know, I think I’ve been waiting for you, too, though I’ve never known it.”

“So… you haven’t been LOOKING for me?” I looked at him. So he didn’t know who I was, and I didn’t know who he was. Great. I was never going to get any answers.

“Let’s take a walk.” He said. We walked outside. It didn’t matter what happened now. Whether I died or destroyed. I still had no answers, and that was killing me.

We walked in silence down the empty street for awhile. We were holding hands like old friends. Close friends. It was a human gesture, but maybe monsters did it too. Maybe he knew more than I did about this whole monster thing.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Jasper. What’s yours?”

Oh. THAT was the first question he chose to ask. Grand.

“Uh… guess!” That was all I could think to say. I didn’t know I was supposed to have a name. He did. Maybe he did have SOME answers I needed after all.

He looked at me curiously again. I felt happy inside. He seemed happy too.


“No.” That didn’t sound right. I didn’t like it.


“Uh, wrong again.” Not that one.


“Keep going.” They weren’t getting any better.


Hmmm…. I liked that one. Let’s see what else he had.

“One more time.”


Alice. Alice sounded alright. It sounded…..familiar. Sure, that could be it. Why not? Alice. I was Alice. Yep, I liked Alice. Why? Hah, same answer to all of my questions. I didn’t know.

“So what is it?”

Oh. I had been spacing off. And I wasn’t even having a vision. This guy was making me lightheaded.

“Um, Alice, ya, that’s right.”

He looked at me a little funny. I hoped he wouldn’t guess I had just made that up.

“Good job.”

We walked in silence for a little while longer. He was quiet. I wished he would tell me something. Some information I could use, without having to ask all the questions to get it.

“So…. do you live somewhere?”

He gave me that funny look again.

“No, not really.”

Silence again. Perfect.

“So why were you waiting for me?”

NOW he asked a question. Another tough one too. Gees, I sure knew how to pick ‘em!

“Will you laugh if I tell you?”

There was that look again.

“No. Many of us have talents. All of them are different.”

He’d said US. So there were more of our kind. Hm.

“I saw you….in a vision.”

“Really? So are your visions random or can they be controlled?”

What was it with his questions?

“Um, random. Kind of. I mean, they’re always of the future. And it’s always my future. But….. they usually don’t make sense. Except………. you always seem to be in them.”

“So you can’t see anyone else’s future but your own?”

“I guess so…. I’ve never tried to see anyone else’s. I don’t know how.”

He gave an understanding look then.

“You’re new, aren’t you?”

Yep. So, it was that obvious? New. Wait. New to what?

“Sure. I don’t really know. I only remember the past month or so. Anything before that….well, it’s just black. Can I ask what it is I’m new to?”

He looked at me strangely again.

“So…. you don’t remember changing?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Becoming a Vampire of course!”

Vampire. I was a Vampire?!

“Is that what we are?”

“Yes Alice. Is your name REALLY Alice?”

Crap. Well, may as well tell him everything. The little that that was.

“No. Maybe. I don’t remember.”

“That’s alright. I like Alice.”

“So do I.”

There was a pause as we continued walking.

“So… where are we going?”

“Don’t you know?” He smiled.

“Should I?”

“Well, you said you could see the future.”

“Not all of it.”

“Well, is there anywhere we SHOULD be going?”

“There was a house….. and five others who looked like us. But with gold eyes instead of red. And we were walking towards the house.”

“Gold…… that’s strange.”

“Do you know what it means? The eyes, I mean.”

“No. But I know someone who might.”

“Can we go see him? Now?”

“She, Alice. And now is fine.”

Oh. She.

“Is she, ummmm, are you two, uh….…..close?”

Wonderful. I couldn’t think of the right word. What was wrong with my brain?!

He laughed at me. I sighed.

“No, nothing like that. She’s just a friend. She’s the one who turned me, actually.”

Turned? ANOTHER question.

“By the way,” he said, “who turned you? Shouldn’t they have taught you what to do or something?”

“I don’t know what you mean, exactly.”

“Well, we can talk about it later. We’re here. Once we see about the gold eyed Vampires, maybe you and I can leave this place. Just the two of us, together.”

I liked that last part. Just the two of us, TOGETHER. And together we would stay, no matter what. Forever.


The meeting was interesting. We had met with someone named Mary. That was the woman who had turned Jasper. She said she’d heard rumors of Vampires that lived on the blood of animals rather than humans. That’s why their eyes were gold. She didn’t know where to find them, but she didn’t care or want to find them either. She liked her life here. So Jasper and I had left her, with a few of my questions answered. We were going to find the gold eyed Vampires, just Jasper and I.
The first day we traveled, I got an unexpected surprise. Jasper had said we needed to get out of the town before morning. I didn’t know why, but he knew more about being a Vampire than I did, so I didn’t question him. We walked through the town and were finally out of it by morning. We were traveling through an empty field as the sun started to rise. I looked at Jasper, to ask him if it was safe to travel during the day now that we were no longer in the town. I gasped. His face glimmered in the early rays that were cast by the sun. He was even more stunning than he had been when I’d first met him.
“What?” He asked, staring at me intently like I had just asked a question I should’ve known the answer to.
“Um……” Was all I could manage to get out. My breath was taken away.
He kept looking at me with his funny expression.
Oh. I was staring, and intently at that. And we had stopped running.
“You……you’re……..amazing.” I breathed.
He laughed, and I was once again taken aback. He had a laugh like none I’d ever heard. Right, like that mattered. I couldn’t EVER remember hearing anyone laugh. Not even my self.
“And what are you then, Alice?” He asked me.
“Nothing compared with you.” I answered, half ashamed that I couldn’t match him in beauty.
“Is that really what you think Alice? Well, I beg to differ. I think that YOU are absolutely ravishing! Just look at yourself! Come here!”
He took my hand and led me over to a rather large puddle. It must have been left from the rain yesterday.
“Look Alice.” He said.
And I did. But I couldn’t believe that it was me. My skin glittered and shined just like Jaspers. I touched my pale face with my right hand, and noticed that where ever the sun caught it, it glittered too. I looked at Jasper’s hand, which was still holding my left one. Yes, his hands glittered just like mine did.
“I’m still not as beautiful as you are Jasper.”
“No, you’re not Alice. You’re a thousand times better.”
“You’re just saying that Jasper.”
“And why should I ‘just be saying that’. Is it a crime to call the woman you love beautiful?”
“It is if it’s not true.”
“But it is.”
I kicked at the puddle, sending most of the water flying with the force.
“I’m not beautiful Jasper. A killer can’t be beautiful.”
And then I realized that I had said the wrong thing. Jasper was a killer. I had been, but not anymore. Well, not really. Animals didn’t think like humans did. They didn’t have souls like humans did. They didn’t scream in pain and fear like humans did. I didn’t see Jasper as a killer. I was used to his actions. He’d usually go somewhere else, away from me, and have his meal. He knew I didn’t like that he killed humans, but he understood and respected me. And I respected his decision as well.
“Jasper I--------- that’s not what I meant. It’s just……..Oh I don’t know what I’m trying to say! It just…..it’s different because I feel guilty about it. Because I’VE killed Jasper! I don’t care if you do it, but it just feels different for me than it probably does for you. I don’t know if you ever regret killing someone, but I do. Everyone I killed, I’ll never forget any of them! They’re going to haunt me until……………until……………..for forever Jasper! Do you know what it’s like?! To feel BAD about it?! I don’t care if you don’t, but I do Jasper! I do! I do I do I do!”
And then I was sobbing into his chest, my eyes dry. And that was the one time that I wished that Vampires could cry. Because that’s all I wanted to do.
Jasper held me tightly in his arms and tried to whisper reassurances. I don’t know how long we stood there, I in his arms and he keeping watch for anyone who might spot us. But I knew we had to go on. Because we would never have another life if I stayed here feeling sorry for myself. As we ran through the night, it was very, very quiet.


Over the next few months we searched. We didn’t need to rest or stop, except maybe to hunt. I tried to find animals along the way, but things were harder for Jasper. He had never known anything but what he was taught. That there was no other way. I hadn’t known either, but I never liked taking human lives. Jasper had been fighting in a war, before he was changed, so he was taking human life while he was still human. He had continued to do so as a Vampire. It didn’t bother him as much as it did me.
Of course, I don’t know why it should have. I couldn’t remember being a human. I couldn’t remember the pain or fear that Jasper said anyone turning into a Vampire felt. He said the “changing” was his sharpest, most clear memory. But I told him over and over that I didn’t, I COULDN’T remember. I insisted to him that it didn’t exist in my mind. And some how, I knew that he knew that I was telling the truth. It just seemed hard for him to believe it.
And I loved him too much to change him. If the gold eyed Vampires wouldn’t accept him, then I wouldn’t stay either. For while my eyes were gold like theirs, Jasper stayed red.
But I wasn’t worried. Though I didn’t tell Jasper everything about the visions, I told him all that was necessary for him to know. He seemed satisfied, and didn’t question me when I had finished telling him all I was going to.
Once, while we were walking near a road we saw a car accident. It took everything I had to drag Jasper away. There was a lot of blood. I had wanted to stay and help. There weren’t any ambulances around, or anyone else to help. Someone could be dying. But I had to keep Jasper away. Whatever happened to them, it wasn’t our place. We shouldn’t even have been there at that moment. We should both be dead.
As we traveled my visions grew stronger. I hoped that meant we were getting closer, but I couldn’t be sure. I’d seen Jasper and I, living with the others. Jaspers eyes were gold, just like the rest of us. We had our own room in the house. I guess that meant we lived there. So they would accept us. But Jaspers eyes were red now, not gold like in my vision. I didn’t know what my visions told, exactly. Were they of the assured future, or the possible future? Would Jasper EVER change his ways? Should I try harder to help him do so? I still needed a lot of answers.
I couldn’t be sure whether I was having visions of his future or if they were still of mine. I was always in them, that was for sure. That helped reassure me that Jasper and I were going to be together for a long time, maybe even forever.
Jasper was answering all the questions I could come up with. After all, there wasn’t really much to do while we traveled. Just run and run and run, and maybe walk every once in awhile when we neared a town. I also knew in advance when we were close to a place with a lot of people, so at those times we would keep more alert. While I was watching for anyone who might spot us, Jasper was looking for his next meal.

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