‘Breaking Dawn’ Review: Why am I STILL loving Jacob in this Edward & Bella fairytale?

Alrighty peeps, I may be a new mama of a baby human these days, but I still found me some time to hit the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn last night and get my swoon on. I’m just like everyone else – I’ve been waiting a year and a half since Eclipse to see some Edward and Bella sex and also to analyze Edward’s baby mekin’ skillz. So hey, baby or no baby for me, I’m not waiting a minute longer than I have to! And dear friends; Breaking Dawn is totes amaze, obvy. How could it not be? Edward and Bella finally marry. They have S-E-X and more S-E-X – >Edward breaks a headboard, COME ON. And lastly, Bells is preggo. What’s not to love?

 

Well, besides Edward’s hair. [Read: "Why is Edward's hair ALL WRONG in Breaking Dawn?]

 

Can we just harp on this subject a little more and further beat an already dead horse? WHO THE F*CK RUNS THE HAIR AND MAKEUP DEPARTMENT FOR THE TWILIGHT FILMS? They should be fired, never to work in Hollywood again. The saga’s slogan should be: “Twilight, making good looking people ugly since 2008.” It’s one thing to put Carlisle in a progressively uglier wig in each film, or put a skull cap made of hair on Alice’s head and pretend she’s still cute as a button – but you cannot, I repeat – YOU CANNOT MESS WITH EDWARD’S HAIR. Ever. But they did. His hair is short, flat, and dark. WTF WTF WTF! It’s supposed to be a chaotic mess of copper colored hair. It just wasn’t sexy, people. In fact, it almost killed my Team Edward status. His hair is that important to me.

 

But you know who looked hot as hell? Jacob. Somehow, with Edward’s flat hair, waaaaay too pale skin, and lack of a muscular body, Jacob looked dark, manly, and all growns up. I found myself swooning all over Jacob and his new chin pubes. It actually pissed me off. In a movie all about Edward and Bella FINALLY coming together – I’m freaking dying over Jacob? WHAT!

 

On to the actual movie…

 

Breaking Dawn is actually funny – and on purpose! In fact, it was full of laughs throughout the wedding and honeymoon. It all just seemed so much more grown up this time around. No more high school angst and brooding virginity. Kristin Stewart FINALLY comes into her own as Bella, and it’s the best she’s ever been playing this character. Edward smiles more, *fans self*, and comes across more confident and like a real husband. *swoon* I loved when he started seeing the baby in Bella’s tum tum as their baby versus something killing her that he wanted to get rid of. And it totes melted my heart when he held and kissed Bella’s pregnant belly in a sweet little moment towards the end of the film. Jacob, as I mentioned, just seemed so much manlier then he ever has and I loved when he stood his ground to werewolf Sam and takes back his stance as the wolf pack’s alpha. Go Jacob! I know in the book that after the honeymoon the perspective switches to Jacob’s for like 150 pages, and the movie is no different. I felt like the movie had Jacob just as much as E&B. Some people might be like; “Jeez Jacob, get over Bella already!” But I didn’t see his constant presence as him pining away for his lost love; I saw it as him protecting his best friend who he loves.

 

The birth scene was intense, with Edward having to bite open Bella’s belly to pull the little vamp/human hybrid out. For a moment, I was all “awwwww” when Edward was holding the baby – and I wanted to tackle Rosalie when she offered to take the baby. I’m all; Edward, look out! BABY SNATCHER! BABY SNATCHER!!  But it really got me when Belly died on the table, all gaunt thanks to the amazing ability of CGI editing. For those that haven’t seen the movie, I don’t want to give away all the cool things they did to make this scene even more emotional, but it’s definitely a powerful transformation into a vampire that Bella has. And that final scene was the coolest E-V-E-R and how I always imagined it from reading the book. Needles to say I cannot wait for Breaking Dawn part 2. Too bad we have ANOTHER FREAKING YEAR! Ahhh!!

 

I feel like the movie went by so fast, like no more than 30 minutes. So obvy I have to see it again to catch anything I missed. It was like when I was reading the book; I was so excited that I read the book too fast just to see what happens, so I didn’t really let some things sink in. I gotta go back and really enjoy that honeymoon again. I don’t know if I fully got to appreciate Edward breaking that headboard. Plus, I saw the movie with Bulletsucker and we were so busy adding our own hilarious side commentary throughout the movie that we probably missed a lot of dialogue due to our laughter drowning out the sound! I had all these other things I wanted to write about, like how our theater was full of old lesbians and no one was OOOHING and AAHHHING over Edward or Jacob like they were supposed to be, but this blog post is getting too long to get into all that. Let’s just say that next time Bulletsucker and I decided we aren’t going to a midnight showing unless it’s full of screaming teenagers. They take the crazy to a whole other level and that’s really the only way to see a Twilight movie.

 

All in all, Breaking Dawn gets two thumbs up from me, but could I ever not love one of these films? ‘Course not.

 

Have you seen Breaking Dawn? If so, tell me what you thought in the comments section!

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For fun, check out my New Moon and Eclipse movie reviews:

 

New Moon = AH-MA-ZING

"Eclipse" review: Loving Edward. Lusting for Jacob.

Views: 771

Tags: Bella, Eclipse, Edward, Jacob, New Moon, breaking dawn

Comment by Brittany on November 18, 2011 at 8:08pm

I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE,BUT AT THE SAME TIME I HAD HIGHER EXPECTATIONS.OVER ALL I GIVE IT TWO THUMBS UP TOO!

Comment by « Jasmine Cullen « on November 18, 2011 at 9:00pm

the movie was awesome! by i got to say that you are definitely right! :) edward seemed a little different with the hair, and ALSO carlisle.. =\ but over all it was a great movie :)) i got to watch it again since i was busy commenting on the movie too haha and i think i missed some dialogues as well =)) people weren't that thrilled in the movie as i expected them to be :( 

Comment by Eclipse on November 18, 2011 at 9:28pm

@Courtney - you are one of the funniest and most interesting bloggers around!! I haven't seen the movie yet (going tonight) so can't agree or disagree with you.  However I do completely agree with the Edward hair comments.  WTF have they done to his hair!!!!???? “Twilight, making good looking people ugly since 2008.”  LOL :)))

Comment by Ann on November 18, 2011 at 9:29pm
I just got back from watching the movie! And yea I was expecting a roomful of applause when Edward and Bella after saying there "I Do's" but all I got was silence. :l But when Jacob took off his shir everyone started to scream >:l But overall I LOVED THE MOVIE! :D <3
Comment by katy on November 19, 2011 at 12:34am

i dont care what the reviews are..i stilll freaking love EDWARD :D

Comment by Jamie Giffin on November 19, 2011 at 2:41am

SOoooo Rob Pattinson showed up to set with short hair from water for elephants. Do you think they should have made him wear a wig or hair extensions? Alice had the hair that Meyer described in the book. Ashley Green pointed it out to Bill Condon and stephanie confirmed it correct for the first time in the saga. Carlisle had the absolute worst hair on set. I had lowered my expectations and ended up pleasantly surprised with how good the movie was!!! Going to see it a 3rd time today

Comment by J Stocking on November 19, 2011 at 5:27am

I went to the midnight showing so it wouldn't be filled with screaming teenagers. I don't pay $12.00 to see a movie not be able to hear the dialogue. Everyone in my theater was appropriate at the right times laughing, horrified murmuring, and catcalls when a sexy bod was shown. There was not endless talking going on, so we could hear the dialogue- especially Kristen's voice as she tends to talk very softly. I also appreciated the people who turned off their cell phones- I find that EXTREMELY annoying during a movie. This is by far my favorite movie. Does anyone know if there are any "Easter Eggs" in this?

Comment by Sisa on November 19, 2011 at 7:15am

The movie was awesome and great!!!!!!!!!! Iam happy!!!!!!! Thank you Bill !!!!! Great job !!!!!! Love Rob and Kristen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BD is my winner !!!!!!

Comment by Kristen Kimber Colichia on November 19, 2011 at 9:18am

i cant wait to see the twilight saga breaking dawn part 1 tomorrow ;)

Comment by FuzzyWolfLuvJBJ on November 19, 2011 at 10:21am

I'm team switzerland but I always was leaning towards Edward more. But through the whole movie minus the honeymoon I was staring at Jacob thinking WOW he's hot. And when he starts crying after he thinks Bella's dead I found myself Swaying towards him.  And yes Edwards hair.... I wish they would of just left his hair alone in the first movie he was absolutely perfect. His hair and makeup and contact were perfect I don't know why they had to change it.  But I still Loved the movie either way and the birth scene really scared the pants off me. I read the book I knew she was going to live but for a moment I was thinking OMG she's Dying.

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