Dear blank Please blank....Twilight & Harry Potter style (warning satire)
I just found this website called Dear blank Please blank and found some hysterical and not-so-hysterical entries from people that you might laugh at, turn read reading, or plot your revenge with new Dear posts.Please post your Dear blank Please blank entries in the comments.
Dear Twilight fans,
Let's do some math! Harry Potter > Voldemort. Voldemort > Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen. Therefore, Harry Potter > Edward Cullen.
Sincerely, suck on that
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Please note that when the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.
Sincerely, J. K. Rowling.
Dear Bella,
I've been a 17 year old teenage boy for over a hundred years and you actually believed me when I told you I was a virgin?!
Sincerely, Edward.
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling
Dear Edward Cullen,
Avada Kedavra!
Sincerely, Tom Riddle
Dear Buffy,
We have a new assignment for you. His name is Edward.
Sincerely, K
Dear Twilight Fans,
Thank you for making us look sane and well-adjusted.
Sincerely, Trekkies
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic
Dear Edward,
This is why you were in Hufflepuff.
Sincerely, The Sorting Hat
Dear Edward,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, Dracula
Dear Cedric Diggory,
Vampires don't sparkle. 20 points from Hufflepuff!
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Comment by KristinMoore on February 8, 2011 at 12:19pm -
Im sorry, but i didn't find any of these amusing....they're just the same old jokes....
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Comment by ß.Gomez on February 8, 2011 at 12:19pm -
LMFAO
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Comment by Alison Genet on February 8, 2011 at 12:22pm -
Dear Trekkies,
We don't have a gang sign or secret alien language.
Sincerely, Twilight fans are still more normal that you
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Comment by Alison Genet on February 8, 2011 at 12:23pm
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Dear The Sorting Hat,
My hair was just tickling your fancy.
Sincerely, Edward Cullen
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Comment by Mrs. Fire/Ice on February 8, 2011 at 12:46pm
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Great ones Alison!! The ones you wrote!
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Comment by JoS on February 8, 2011 at 12:48pm -
lol
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Comment by Claudia Cullen-Pattinson on February 8, 2011 at 12:50pm -
well said alison,haha. some of them were funny, but most were....ummm yea
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Comment by Ivanna Cullen on February 8, 2011 at 1:01pm -
great one alison, i like them so much
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Comment by JENNIFER N. on February 8, 2011 at 1:27pm -
The one from the Trekkies is hilarious! Thanks for sharing Alison. ;)
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Comment by Georgie Paige on February 8, 2011 at 1:37pm -
I'm offended by that ginger kid comment!! I'm a ginger!!!!!
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