I am writing to you as a concerned Twilight Fan and Blog Owner. To put it simply...I am concerned with Rob's safety and mental health. It can't be good for our favorite Vampire/Sex Symbol/Hair Touseler, to remain constantly couped up in his fancy shmancy hotel. So, being the devoted fan that I am, I have devised a solution to the problem. Please see Exibit A and B
Let me introduce you to "Stuffward". (I know, I know...he's not finished, this is simply a prototype and his "transformation" will be complete in roughly 72 hours.) Stuffward is a scaled down version of "the sparkly one". Fan girls can squeeze him, and he won't suffocate. They can throw him into taffic on accident, and IF he were to be grazed by on coming traffic...his body will fluff right back to normal. You can talk dirty to Stuffward and he won't get embarassed and Stuffward will give you a Vampire Ride anytime you want, simply stradle his 18 inch body and hop around the room. You see Summit, fan girls will be so distracted with their very own Stuffward, that Rob will once again be able to roam free. There's no need to thank me, like I said I'm just a concerned fan.
Yours Truly ,
PS I also have a version of Jacob, Bella, Carlisle, and Alice...