"Eclipse" review: Loving Edward. Lusting for Jacob.

You know what? I don’t envy Bella Swan. Ok, so maybe I do...like a lot. But just think about what she has to deal with in "Eclipse" – what she has to decide. She’s got this totally PERF guy that wants to love her longer than forever, and then she’s got this totally flawed, but awesome and ridiculously abtastic animalistic sexy man that also wants to love her forevs and she has to choose. I mean, if I didn’t love Bella like she was my best friend – or myself – I’d probably hate her. Lucky stinkin’ b****. But regardless, her decision is a toughy.

Ai yi yi. Once again, just like after seeing “New Moon”, my stomach is a ball of butterflies, lust, sadness, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Well, last time it was “True Blood” the drink mixed with vodka, but you get it – I probably drank a little too much. ANYWAY, I’m home and trying to articulate what I just experienced amidst the lusty haze in my brain. Here goes…

First things first, for future reference, I will only see “Breaking Dawn” parts 1 and 2 at a midnight showing, or better yet – an advanced screening. I don’t care about the crowed, because the energy that the ultimate “Twi-hards” provide is beyond electric. A theater mixed with these crazies transforms the experience into a whole other level of awesome. I saw “New Moon” at an advanced screening, and the audience cheered and jeered at all the right parts. Perhaps it added to my post movie high. Today however, I went to see “Eclipse” at 7:20 on opening day, and to my surprise, there was no freaking crowed. Not a single line. In fact, we ended up going to the 5:50 showing because there was PLENTY of space. Determined to know WTF was going on, I asked the popcorn man where the hell everyone was! He said; “Oh ya, they all came last night. The line was wrapped around the block at 12am. It was worse than last year.” Wonderful. So the whole f****** town saw “Eclipse” already. I’m a day late – a total lollygagger. But check out my shirt! ----->

THE MOVIE

My very first thought with “Eclipse” was that it didn’t feel like a “Twilight” film. It was a lot darker than what you'd expect for Twi. But that’s good; it gives it more street cred. And then when you see Edward and Bella for the first time in the meadow, oh-mi-gawd, you about melt over the lovey dovey nature of it all. Could Edward nuzzle Bella’s neck and hair anymore adorably and sexily? Could he be any more appallingly gorgeous? I don’t think it’s possible! This is the first time we’ve seen Edward and Bella get to act like a real couple – finally!

It’s always funny to me because every time you watch anything on TV or interviews from fans, it’s always “TEAM EDWARD, TEAM EDWARD”, but both times I’ve seen these two movies in theaters, the crowed literally has a physical reaction to Jacob when he comes on screen for the first time. There’s just something about that guy that makes a girl’s lady parts tingle. (WHAT, I didn’t type that last line, swear) Jacob, for me, stole the show. He weaves in and out of mad, cocky, sad, apologetic and LUSTY F*C$ING gorgeous like it’s his J-O-B. I said to my friend during one scene, “he’s so cute”, and she replies, “Um, no. He’s way past cute.” As if that weren’t enough, he’s funny too – which only adds to his overall absurdness.

These blog reviews are always hard because I soooo want to dissect every freaking part of the film, but I know there are some peeps that have a “rule against reading books” and only watch the movies, so I don’t’ want to spoil the story for them. You can’t see me, but I’m totally sticking my tongue out at you people!! Hey, here’s ten bucks, GO BUY THE BOOK!! They’ll rock your world. The romance will suck you in and never let you go!

“Eclipse” proves “Breaking Dawn” should be two films

My only gripe with “Eclipse” was that it moved too fast. “Eclipse” was a 610 page book and there was a lot of detail. But a two hour movie can’t possibly get all of that detail in, so it felt like we were on a fast track. I sometimes wonder what people who haven’t read the books think. Like, will they get it? Will they understand the depths of Edward and Bella’s passion? Will they understand how much Bella really DOES love Jacob? I don’t know and it makes me sad that they might not get to experience the full extent of the emotional rollercoaster that is the “Twilight Saga”. One day, I hope they read!

And in case you didn’t know, it’s been confirmed that “Breaking Dawn” will be two films, filmed back to back, and premiering in November 2011 (yes, that’s 1 ½ years from now!). Thank goodness! Two more abtastic films!

Well naturally, since I felt the movie moved fast, I will need to see it again and preferably in IMAX so I can see Jacob’s abs with the eyes in the back of my head. There are a couple scenes I could watch OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. I think you’ll know when you see. I’m dying just thinking about them!

Ok, this is all I can do. That Mike’s Hard Lemonade is a major sleeping pill, geez! I’m going to go to bed tonight dreaming of marrying Edward Cullen, and having a naughty affair with Jacob Black. I’m actually very excited about this, so why prolong it any longer? I’ve got some dreamy fang-banging to do. Goodnight y'allz!

Originally posted on my blog, "Pop Culture Junkie".

Views: 31

Tags: Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn, Eclipse, Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, New Moon, Twilight

Comment by Afroditi XXX on July 1, 2010 at 3:57am
excellent review!!! :) i'm planning on seeing it this Monday with my friends because.. well i don't want to be disturbed by the screamings and all and i hate crowds :P LOL!!!! and second... it's the latest i think i will survive!!!!!i'm already dying to go and see it... i've set my limit on Monday!!! i agree with you! PEOPLE GO READ THE BOOKS!!!! if you love the films i assure you the books will blow you away!!!!
Comment by Mrs Robert Pattinson on July 1, 2010 at 4:01am
lol...i love this girl...ur review rocks!
Comment by Rennesme on July 1, 2010 at 4:29am
I really can`t believe that I`ve already seen ECLIPSE! It was SOOOOOOOO amazing!
Comment by George on July 1, 2010 at 4:48am
I am happy to read that Tayor did an amazing job in Eclipse :) I am looking forward to that.... hrrrrrr! Team Jacob!
Comment by Eclipse on July 1, 2010 at 5:19am
This is one of the BEST reviews I have read so far! So excellently worded!! I've always wondered myself why t Bella just doesn't have herself a good ol' sandwich ;O))) - Can't wait to see this film over and over and over and over and over again...thanx CourtneyPopLife.
Comment by putu nindya amelia on July 1, 2010 at 5:20am
i love this movie so much.. don't know why, but in this movie i feel sorry for three of them.. and i must say, their acting ( kristen, robert n taylor) soo good..well, that's just my thought..^^
Comment by Eclipse on July 1, 2010 at 5:21am
PS: @Lorraine Powell - me too!
Comment by TwiORdiE on July 1, 2010 at 6:42am
This is a fantastic review!! Wow!! thanks for sharing - and girl, Jacob/Taylor makes my lady parts tingle too LMFAOO ... did I just TYPE that? LOL
Comment by Blue Volturi [TheVampireLover] on July 1, 2010 at 6:43am
TEAM EDWARD - straight oN!
Comment by Mrs. Fire/Ice on July 1, 2010 at 7:02am
Great review! Totally agree that the movie moved very fast! I am Team Edward but OMG did Taylor do a GREAT job!! The acting was soooo much better! Great movie . Have to see it a few more times!!

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