Now, old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Dear readers. Those words are not just the lyrics of an old Joni Mitchell song: They are actually my life. Because something very weird has been happening over the last few months and it has caused me to become an unrecognisable shell of my former Courtney-Love-loving self.
I have completely fallen in love with Kristen Stewart.
Forgive my flabbergastion, but it really crept up on me. Looking back now of course, I can see precisely how it happened. There I was, watching on from the sidelines as Our Lady of the Perpetual Scowl stole the hearts of my esteemed colleagues, one by one, sending them all into irrational frenzies of passion. For months now, Jess at Defamer has been seeing the light, and back over here at the Vine, I've noticed that the usually cool heads of Clem and Ariel have been overtaken by delirious love as well.
(Just as an aside, it seems that Paul and Luke are yet to be convinced about KStew though—which makes me wonder: Do Women See More In The
Stoned Blank Canvas of Her Face Than Men? Please discuss.)
But even though I share my obsession with excellent company, I still feel confused by this feeling. The thing is, I always associated Kristen Stewart with the Twilight franchise. And I can tell you quite plainly that I do not and never have had any interest whatsoever in the Twilight franchise.
I am, however, violently passionate about The Runaways franchise! And that is why I'm writing this today, to get it all off my chest before tomorrow when THE RUNAWAYS FILM FINALLY COMES OUT, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
This scene looks particularly awesome.
So let's take a look at Kristen Stewart's many qualities, shall we? Is it her red carpet scattiness? Her frustrated sighs when she can't articulate herself in an interview? Her appealing stoner vibe? Whatever it is, it's clear she has a sort of domino effect on people. That's right: KRISTEN STEWART MIGHT WELL BE THE COMMUNISM OF TODAY. Incidentally, here's a photo of her in Russian Elle.
Without further ado, let's get onto a little list I like to call:
Counting the ways I love Kristen Stewart
1. You don't need to see any of her films to love her.
I mean, I haven't. Yes, that's right! I have never actually seen her doing her job and yet I am still writing this piece about her! But you know what? I don't need to.
Tomorrow, the Runaways film comes out. Tomorrow, I will see her act.
But today, I will simply keep loving her for her off-screen brilliance.
2. Like all great love affairs, she lures you in gradually.
It makes sense though, doesn't it? You see someone every day, in the paper, or on telly, or tattooed on someone else's back.
And you eventually just fall in love with them. It makes it so much more genuine than love at first at sight, I think.
3. She carries an air of mystique.
I mean, does she like being famous?
Or does she not like being famous?
Who knows! But it definitely adds to her allure.
4. Her red carpet vibe
Over at Defamer, Jess McGuire has documented some of these moments in a compelling series titled: Kristen Stewart Awkwardness Appreciation. I advise you go over there if you'd like to see the full series of entertaining YouTube clips.
But in the meantime, please adore this excellent video on location for her British Elle magazine shoot.
And yeah, I know: First the Russian edition of Elle, and now the British Elle? Are we, like, sponsored by them today or something? I have no idea! I am too pumped up on pheromones from looking at so many KStew pics that I don't know what's going on here anymore!
All I know is that that hair stylist in this video should win Best Supporting Actor of EVERYTHING.
READ THE REST HERE