FanFiction Edwards continue to haunt my dreams

I have a confession to make: I’m still reading Clipped Wings & Inked Armor. I know, I know – I’m a horrible FanFiction book club leader. SO, in the meantime, for FanFiction Friday, I thought I’d continue on with my dreamy encounters with my three FanFiction Edwards…


Disclaimer – HA – These characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” and recreated for the following author’s own perverted pleasure. They are not created by me. I’m turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters. Don’t get confused, it’s not rocket science. The cast is as follows:

Master of the Universe (Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon

Million Dollar Baby (Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar

Clipped Wings & Inked Armor (Tattward) – hunterhunting

A fictional version of me named Olivia (Because it's easier writing this if I don't use my own name!)

The ever-sleeping husband is played by Jake


I really want a repeat of that Armyward dream I had last night where my three fanfiction Edwards – Fifty, Cockward, and Tattward – all converged on me in that glass elevator and had their way with me. Well, OK, so they never had a chance to have their way with me because I had a freaking panic attack and woke up mid-pre-f***. Gah, why does that happen when you’re about to get laid in your dream?

So tonight, I lay in bed with my iTouch and read an orgasmic chapter of Clipped Wings & Inked Armor where Tattward bangs Bella on the hood of his car. Ya, I’m hoping that this provides a little inspiration for my sub-conscious to go to town in my sleep.

It doesn’t.

I wake up to the annoying urge to pee and realize that I was having a nightmare about being preggo with triplets in which I was finding out the sex of the babies from the evening news on TV. Three boys it is! Oh god, I wanted to dream about THREE EDWARDS not three babies that will take me away from my Edwards! Hmph!

I peed and went back to bed all pissy about my sub-conscious being a mega b**** and screwing with my fantasy. As I drifted back to sleep I thought about what it would be like to actually have triplets…Edward’s triplets…

“Can you see anything?” Edward purrs into my ear. I touch my eyes to feel the blind fold he’s just placed over them and feel a surge of anxiety as I’m not exactly sure how severe my flogging is going to be since he’s just found out about my relationships with Cockward and Tattward. Oh Fifty, please go easy on my booty, I silently beg to him. I’m not sure I’m gonna find this as hot in person as it is to read about it.

I feel him lay a soft kiss on my collarbone, which tingles the lady bits, and mutter something about me being a cheating whore. OH MUTHER, this is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And just then I feel it – "F***!" I cry out. Oh my god he just spanked my ass really hard with his bare hand! Oh Lord, of all the scenes to dream about, I’m dreaming about getting my ass whooped by Fifty. DAMN IT! So as to soften the blow, he sensually rubs my bare ass cheek in wide circles because his hand print is pretty big on my behind – not because my ass is wide. Well maybe it is a little.

Fearing the impending second ass slap, I suddenly blurt out in a rapid fire plea; "Edward PLEASE, this is not what I had in mind. I swear I’ll stop cheating. I’m yours, all yours! So do me a favor and untie me. I want you to make love to me in this godforsaken Red Room of Pain to the music of Roberta Flak. I really loved when you did that to Bella in MOTU." *sighs*

I hear him step back and breathe in through his nose and exhale loudly, and then I feel the cotton knot behind my head come undone and fall away. As I blink my eyes a couple of times to readjust to the light I realize I’m staring at Tattward as he’s hard at work on a tattoo on my hip. He’s concentrating and he looks extremely sexy. As I study his face and wonder where the hell Fifty and his Red Room of Pain went, he glances up at me and smiles this really panty meltin’ smile. I give him a shy smile back and tentatively run my fingers through his tousled sex hair. Getting the hint, Tattward sits up and slowly removes his rubber gloves as he holds my gaze. Oh god, fire just entrenched my entire body and I suddenly feel like the air is too hot and thick to breathe. I need water.

“How do you feel Olivia? Are you in pain?” He cocks his head to one side willing me to say no.

"No, I’m…I’m fine – no pain at all," I manage to stutter out with an embarrassing sense of urgency. Knowing how annoyingly considerate Tattward is I don’t want him withholding countertop sex from me because he thinks my fresh tat will burn like fire up against his grinding hips.

Well, to be honest; I really could care less about my own pain. Ya, I’m like Bella like that: so selfless. I just want Edward’s long fingers on me. Oh and his mouth too. Tattward puts his hands on my waist and lifts me out of the tattoo chair, making me feel like a tiny 10 pounder, and places me in front of the full length mirror, presumably so I can see my tat. He’s standing behind me looking at me in the mirror as his hands slip underneath my shirt and start traveling north. His breath is hot on my neck as he whispers; "Do you have any f****** idea what I’m going to do to you right now, Kitten?" His quiet threat sends chills up my spine and under his fingers as I drop my head back onto his shoulder and close my eyes as desire pools my brain and makes me lightheaded. After a moment I lift my head forward and open my eyes to meet his in the mirror.

HUH? Where the hell am I? I feel a draft and look down to see that I’m wearing a skimpy bikini and high heels. I cross my arms feeling the need to cover up and then I focus on the dark figure in front of me. Thankfully, a moment later the lights flip on and I see Colossal Cockward sitting in a chair in front of me, legs crossed man-style, sunk back in his seat wearing a black suit vest and trousers with the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up -- taking a final drag of his cigarette. Hot damn this playboy is dead sexy. I eye f*** him as he lifts himself out of his chair and saunters over to where I’m standing.

I’m feeling the lady bits tingle yet again as he reaches a hand toward my face and places a strand of hair behind my ear. I watch his lips curve up into a sexy half smile and I try to decipher what he’s going to do next. Maybe he’ll grab me and throw me down on the couch and make me the happiest woman alive? Or, he could lift me over his shoulder and carry me to the Jacuzzi for a steamy bath? I get freaking ecstatic thinking that THIS Edward – my Cockward – is going to finally close the deal. Jeez, who locked up and threw away the key on Fifty and Tattward’s chastity belts?

“Well Olivia, now that you’re here, let me see what you’re worth…” Cockward’s words cast a cold shiver throughout my body as I know what he wants me to do. And then he says it…

“Get on your knees.”

Oh mutherfuck! Really? Is this even fair? So far, I’ve had an ass whoopin’ from Fifty; a painful tat from Tattward, and now an introductory blowie for Cockward before I’ve even had a chance to say “hi”?? This is so humiliating by the way. As I sink to my knees I close my eyes praying for the BJ god to be still some words of encouragement into my brain at this moment.

I open my eyes to see his massive bulge underneath his trousers staring back at me and I reach for his belt buckle. Suddenly I hear moaning and my head snaps up to the direction of Edward’s face as I’m seriously stunned that he’s already getting off before I’ve even touched him! Jeez, if that’s not a confidence booster, I don’t know what is! There is a god!

"Jake, Jake – wake up!" I shake my husband’s shoulder trying to wake him as he’s having a bad dream and moaning like a scaredy cat in his sleep. The moaning subsides and he simply rolls over and begins to lightly snore. I drop back into the bed and fluff my pillow angrily behind my head.

Jake, I know you’re my husband, but can’t a girl just dream about other men uninterrupted for one night, or all nights for that matter? I think this to myself as I silently brood over my rude awakening.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to will Cockward back. The next thing I recall in my dream is the sound of three squealing babies…

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Views: 463

Comment by JENNIFER N. on October 29, 2010 at 6:43am
I just FINALLY finished CWIA last night!!! It was awesome. I'll def read it again soon, after MDB. With the end of CWIA......don't rush reading the end. It goes by really quick. :)
Comment by JoS on October 29, 2010 at 9:10am
i love MOTU and MDB
Comment by Aidinslevel on October 29, 2010 at 10:36am
Well, before today I had never read any of the FF out there. Never really interested me. After this post, I decided to check out CWIA..... half my day is now gone, I am a quater of the way through it and I have no plans to stop reading anytime soon and I have yet to post one blog on Twifans.... When Alison comes looking for me I will tell her it is your fault and this post with links that has turned me to the dark side of FF....

*Off to read some more of CWIA*
Comment by CullenFamLuv on October 29, 2010 at 11:28am
Welcome to the dark side Aidinslevel! It is all kinds of fun here.
Comment by Malin Eriksson on October 29, 2010 at 12:21pm
I love CWAIA, MDB, EP, MOTU there all sooooo good. I would really like to read more ff like those do any one know of some more?
Comment by Ana on October 29, 2010 at 12:31pm
i read all of those, if you want another good one..."Last tango in forks". I actually had to take a break on one chapter, really hot, and she gives panty alerts before the chapter LOL. Also, "like a moth to a flame" -complete - and she just started Part 2 to that story this week. I read WAY to much FF .
Comment by shlly on October 29, 2010 at 3:18pm
There are many good FF's out there CWAIA, MDB and MOTU just being 3 of them. Here are just a few of my fave's. Edward Cullen: D*** for Hire, Edward Wallbanger, Cooking with Fire and part 2 If you can't stand the heat, The Naked guy Upstairs. I could go on and list of fave's is long. But there's a few to get you going.
Comment by Denise on October 29, 2010 at 3:47pm
I think this may be a little too risque for this website.
Comment by Blanca* on October 29, 2010 at 4:43pm
i'm reading CWIA right now its sooo good! love MOTU!
Comment by CourtneyPopLife on October 29, 2010 at 11:04pm
@Aidinslevel -- I'm amazed you haven't stepped into the world of fanfiction sooner!! But better late than never! I hope your'e enjoying CW&IA. I love it. When you're done with that you MUST read 'Master of the Universe' (MOTU). ..


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