I’m by no means surprised that the People’s Choice Awards was yet another clunker with non-funny skits, barely any stars (except those who already knew they won) and product placements galore. If I had a “smart phone” to give away right now, I’d be waving it at you hawking its bennies and smiling with a twinkle in my tooth. But yet I watch anyway, mainly because I knew the “Twilight” stars were going to be there and because I love the celeb fashions.
Annnnnnd, now that I’ve mentioned the “Twilight” stars; let’s discuss why I seriously have beef with them based on their appearance and/or performance at the PCAs last night. Well, not really Taylor Lautner because he’s generally perfect with fantastic public speaking skills and always dressed all GQ-style. He’s a doll in my book. But Edward – I mean Rob – I mean Edward: WHATTHEFUCK IS UP WITH YOUR HAIR?! Goddamnit! This is NOT ok with me. I highly doubt it’s ok with true Twi-hards and I have no effing clue how it’s even ok with Stephenie Meyer. Aren’t you supposed to have this copper colored tousled hair that I, I mean Bella can run my, I mean her fingers through, Edward? Why on earth is your hair practically as dark as it was in “Little Ashes” when you played that gay artist with way too much ugliness going on? And why is it so freaking short? Robward, are you sick of being pretty? Would you rather people take you more seriously as an actor if you weren’t so drop dead or what? Because if I’d never seen you before the PCA’s last night, I’d probably say; “What the hellz is the fuss all about?”
And my complaint doesn’t stop with his hair. Whatthefuck was up with his outfit? Who on earth still wears black Dockers other than cooks in chain restaurants that aren’t supposed to be seen anyway? All he was missing was a black Polo shirt, an apron, and some TGI Friday’s button “flare” and I would’ve accidently ordered potato skins had I been face to face with him. But thankfully he borrowed Arsenio Hall’s tan jacket from the ‘80s (which is probably Dockers brand as well) to break up his all black ensemble and to match his gurlfriend’s black/gold mini dress. It’s SO cute when couples match!
Now some people might think I’m being way harsh here and overly shallow, but I really don’t care. If you get paid millions because of your face, put your best face (er, and hair and outfit) forward.
Now that we’ve got Rob outa the way, let’s discuss Kristen Stewart….and her AWKWARDNESS! For the life of me, I can’t understand why that gurl hasn’t grown some confidence over the last 3 years. I get that she’s young and all, but so are a lot of stars and most of them come off totes poised and self-assured. Kristen, even if you aren’t confident, can’t you fake it? After all, you’re an A-C-T-R-E-S-S! She is up on that stage accepting a freaking award for FAVORITE ACTRESS and even then, she can’t manage to look up at the audience (apparently the floor is really interesting to her?), her shoulders are all hunched over, and she’s bouncing from side to side like she has to seriously go potty. I was just waiting for her to start holding her crotch like a 5 year old. The look on Rob’s face as she was accepting her award went from prouder than proud boyfriend, to feeling her pain and wishing her off the stage ASAP! But in spite of all this, I will say that KStew did look hot. She was probably glad Rob looked so dorky because she’s tired of being the not-as-cute one in the relaysh. I mean, check her out from behind! (I've got suuurious booty/leg envy) ------------>
Other PCA observations
Alright, aside from the Twi-stars, other observations were that in spite of the fact that I think RPattz should’ve won “Favorite Star Under 25;” winner Zac Efron gave a heartfelt speech thanking his fans. He said he genuinely felt a connection with us – I mean them, and he even seemed to be choking up! He also seemed to be beefing up too. Is he eating a lot of ice cream sulking over his breakup with Vanessa Hudgens or is he getting beefy for a movie role? I mean, he’s hot either way.
I will never understand why Johnny Depp continues to win favorite actor and ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ awards year after year. What is so sexy about looking homeless? That’s not intended to be offensive, but he looks like a freaking hobo. He’s old and I’m tired of people pretending he’s still hot. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, he passed his prime after “21 Jump Street” back in the ‘80s. Leonardo DiCaprio should’ve won favorite actor anyway.
Alright, sorry for my rant or tirade or whatever you want to call it. I’m not really mean you know, but today my pants are tight at work and I’m feeling cranky and in rare form. So there. Hmph!
For more PCA Twilight pics, click here.