The end of the enormously popular “Twilight” movie franchise is coming to an end with only one movie left to film in the saga. This makes me very sad because…I mean…it’s what I live for and all.
But wait – NOT SO FAST! Summit Entertainment has some smart cookies in suits who intend to milk this shiz for all it’s worth! That means “Breaking Dawn”, the final film in the series, will be split up into two films (this is actually a good thing) and part 1 will premiere in November 2011! (Yes, that’s over one year from today!) Luckily, they’re filming parts 1 and 2 back to back, so that means part 2 should be out 6 months later ala “New Moon”/”Eclipse” distance apart, right? Of course not, you idiot! Milking, remember? Yes, filming will wrap for part 2 in the spring of 2011 and ONE AND A HALF YEARS LATER part 2 will premiere on November 16, 2012. Ya, I said it – that’s in over two f****** years!!!! GAHHH!!!!!
My issue with this is that although Edward Cullen is 17 forever, Robert Pattinson will be freaking 32 by the time these movies come out! He’s not pulling 17 too convincingly anymore. This man’s a MAN! Mmmm………………………………………… Sorry, I’m back!
And never mind RPattz’ aging problem – what about mine??? I’m aging too! By 2012 my life could be totally different! I could be a mother of sextuplets! I might be really busy and – GASP – what if I’m rockin’ mom jeans and covered in spit up? How am I supposed to be staying up for midnight showings and dawning “TEAM EDWARD” t-shirts with crying babies on my hips? On the other hand, if this is my life in two years than I may be knee deep in “Twilight” fan-fiction (i.e. Twi-porn) to pass the unyielding hours of feeling utterly desperate for adult interaction and yearning for a kids-free love life. SOOOOO in that case, I may be just as – or more – obsessed with “Twilight” (if that’s even possible). Nonetheless, I can’t believe we have to frickin’ wait over two years to see this series end on the big screen. Ugh!
(I don’t even want to think about what my blog topics will be about during this dry spell either. . .)
In the mean time, as I blogged about a couple weeks ago, I HIGHLY recommend jumping into some “Twilight” fan fic to pass the approximately 469 days, 22 hours, 45 minutes, and 44 seconds until “Breaking Dawn” part 1 comes out. I just got done reading the latest chapter in “OSA Bella” (previously blogged about fanfic) and it was earth shatteringly sexy. (See image to the right for a visual) I’m talkin’, you’ll reread lines more than once. You’ll have to look away from the page…take a swig of wine, maybe shove a handful of Cheez-Its in your mouth to temper the fire, and then dive back in. I had to take frequent breaks like this amid chapter 25 today, but that could be because I was riding the train home from work and I didn’t want anyone to see me breaking out into a cold sweat and perhaps forming hives or something. Trust me; you’ll want to read this. (The picture above says it all!!! Thanks "Dead Confederates" -- diiiiiiirty fanfic!)
(I’m realizing that I may be the prime target for those trashy romance novels that you see in the grocery store magazine aisle. Maybe I should check them out. Who knew reading “erotica” would be so…erotic?!)
So anyway, sorry for the bum news on BD. But all we can do at this point is read fanfic and hope that the movie brings the heat and shows Robert Pattinson as naked as possible. Oh come on, I know you’re thinking it too…
Originally posted on my blog Pop Culture Junkie.