A TWILIGHT FANFICTION I WROTE. ABOUT BELLA WHO HUNTS HER FIRST HUMAN AND HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT IT.
****Edward was right in the end. He was always right. I am a monster. We all are. No matter how hard we try to go against our true nature, in the end were all monsters. ****

Inner Monster

Stephenie Meyer owns. What we wouldn't do without that wonderful woman. She's the reason we are all here writing, sharing stories, our imaginations. And I love listening to music while I write, the song I listened to while writing this is "Vevleteen- The Big Layoff " and "Rise Against - Savior" Enjoy xD

Post Breaking Dawn.

Bella POV

It's been seven years since the encounter with the volturi, Edward explained them to be a family. A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to royalty, they enforce the law. They came to condemn us, Carlise's coven, for they have mistaken my daughter to be an immortal child. But Renesme is no immortal child, she is the most precious and special daughter anyone can have, she is simply half vampire, and half human. Renesme has grown at an incredible rate, already a young woman. . .
"What do you think Bella?" Alice asked, Edward's favorite sister.
Renesme was dressed in a sleek black dress. Nessie turned around, and most of her back was showing, and it came up to her knees, she looked amazingly beautiful. But also older, even though she was born seven years ago . . .
"Oh Renesme! You look beautiful." She smile in response.
"Thank you mom. Do you think Jacob will like it?"
I grimaced. Oh I was sure that Jake would love it. "I'm sure."
She smiled brightly. "Thank you auntie Alice, for everything."
"Your welcome. " They hugged. "Let's go show everyone downstairs now," She said excitedly.
"Okay," She breathed.
They walked downstairs as I followed behind them. Renesme froze at the bottom, biting her bottom lip because everyone gasped. They must have also noticed how grown up she looked. Alice should have picked a different dress for Renesme and Jacob's date . . .
"Oh my, why Nessie, you look so beautiful." Said Esme.
"Absolutely stunning," Agreed Carlisle.
"Incredible," Said Rosalie.
"You look so beautiful Renesme, taking after your mother," Edward said looking at me. If I could blush, I would have.
"Thank you so much everyone."
We could hear a car coming, so that must have been Jacob. Nessie smoothed her dress nervously, looked at me with wide eyes. I stared back and smiled.
"Have fun Nessie, I love you so much." I told her. She grinned.
"Be responsible," Said Edward. We both looked at him and rolled our eyes. But I know she wouldn't do anything crazy, Jacob on the other hand . . .
We heard his car pull up, and his footsteps coming up the steps, Edward went to the door to open it for him.
Jacob was dressed up in black pants and white shirt and black tie. Hair smooth.
"Jacob," Greeted Edward in a hard voice.
"Hey, is Nessie rea-" His eye's caught Nessie's, and I'm pretty sure that he just wasn't looking at her eye's, because Edward let out a low growl, and then Jacob cleared his throat. Nessie closed the space between them two. Jacob seemed aloss for words.
"Ness, you look...very beautiful," Renesme smiled.
"You two have a great time," Said Carlise.
"Thanks." Said Jake.
They walked towards the door, and Edward was still standing there, this time holding something small.
"Here Renesme," Edward handed her a cell phone.
She turned towards me and said ,"Mom.!"
"Renesme, take the cell phone," Said Edward.
"Edward," I said. He looked at me, and I let my shield down. Really, nothing will happen, I trust Jacob. And you should trust your daughter at least, everything is going to be fine.
"Bella, what if something happens, I am not taking that chance. Renesme take the cell phone. Now." Edward said in a hard voice.
I glared at him, but he kinda had a point, and Alice wouldn't be able to see if something did go wrong.
"Fine." Said Renesme matching her father's hard tone.
She grabbed the phone roughly and she slammed the door on there way out.
It was all silent after they left.
"Nice one Eddy," Emmett said.
"Shut up." Edward said.
Emmett laughed stupidly.
I sighed. I walked towards the living room. Alice and Jasper followed.
"Want to hunt Jazz?" Asked Alice.
He smiled down at her,"Thought you'd never ask."
"Coming Bella?" Asked Alice.
The burn in my throat answered for me. I haven't hunted for two and a half weeks. The more attention I gave to the burn, the more I couldn't think straight. Before when I was human, Emmett and Jasper made a bet to see if I would slip up in my first year being a newborn, now the bet has changed to see if I would ever slip up. I have never tasted human blood. Excellent restraint Edward called it. I was very proud.
"Yes," I replied.
"Bella can I talk to you," asked Edward.
"Yeah," I said, I was pretty sure this was about Renesme.
He walked upstairs towards his room, I followed. We entered and he shut the door.
"Bella, you must understand why I was acting like that with Nessie and Jake, because-" I cut him off.
"Seriously Edward, I don't see why you are getting upset in the first place. Everything is going to be f-" He cut in.
"Fine? Bella how can you know that? Alice won't be able to see if something happens."
"They are going to Billy's. For a dinner. What's the worst that can happen there?"
"You weren't the one who was reading there minds."
"Have some trust in your daughter, and there is no reason to over react-" He cut me off.
"I do trust my daughter, It's Jacob I don't trust."
"And why not?"
"You really think that Jacob was having positive thoughts about our daughter, and do you think that Renesme was having positive thoughts about Jacob?"
"Edward there both young, of course there going to think like that. But they know not to do nothing crazy. It's there hormones running-"
"Exactly, and they will take things too far and-"
"Edward just trust your daughter."
"I do." He said in a hard voice. Our voice's were getting pretty sharp with each other.
"Doesn't seem like it."
"Well what else do you think am I suppose to do then?"
"Stop over reacting. It's not a big deal."
Edward just glared at me. Obviously we weren't going to come to an agreement on this.
"Coming Bella?" Asked Alice.
"Yes." I replied. Edward continued to glare at me as I walked out. I walked downstairs, and it just wasn't me, Alice, and Jasper going hunting anymore. Rosalie and Emmett were tagging along.
"Everything alright?" Asked Rosalie.
"Yes." It would be.
We went out the back and ran west into the forest. The wind was blowing different scents. I was smelling for deer, or even better any mountain lions.
"Go north, we will find a herd of deer," Said Alice.
We all took off north. My throat was burning intensely, I couldn't think straight anymore and I could smell the deer, I gave myself over to my instincts. We were closing in on the deer, and my throat seemed to burn even more. All I could think of was "Put out the fire"
Two things happened. Alice suddenly stopped and gasped, and the wind blew from the east, a sweet smelling scent. Guaranteed to put out the fire in my throat.
"Bella. No!" Alice screamed. "Stop her! Rose call Edward and Carlise!"
My feet were already taking me east towards the beautiful scent, but I could feel four people behind me. Chasing me or the scent. I needed to get there first. I let a growl.
I was gaining on my prey, I was so close, and my throat burned even more. I could feel someone gaining on me, then they tackled me to the ground. I didn't even register who it was. But I growled and cursed against the arms that held me to the ground. Stopping me from my prey.
"Jasper don't!"
I grabbed his arm and twisted it and kicked him sideways, out of my way. He let out a growl, but I was already on my feet and in a crouch growling, but the scent was to distracting, so I chased after if again.
Then my prey came into view. A man was facing away from me, and obviously unaware to what was going to happen. A low growl ripped from between my teeth. Mine. The blood was mine. The fire in my throat flared and I couldn't think of anything else.
I could feel the others close behind me and I growled a warning at them. I was just a few feet away from the man. I caught the surprised man by the back of his shirt and yanked him to a near large tree, putting my back against it. Defensive.
I forgot all about the others, because I could feel the heat under his skin, hear the sound of his thudding pulse. He opened his mouth to scream but I crushed his windpipe before he could make a single noise. There was just a gurgle of air and blood in his lungs, and the low moans I could not control, letting my eyes roll back in my head.
Human blood was much different from animal blood. It could not compare. The blood was warm and sweet. It quenched the fire in my throat, calmed the nagging. I was gulping down the blood, only vaguely aware of anything else.
Too soon the man ran dry, and I slowly came to my sane senses. What am I doing?
I dropped the man and stepped away from him. I gasped. What have I done?
I looked up to the seven pairs of eyes that were staring at me. Disappointment written on all there faces. How could have I done this? I just took away the life of this man. He probably had a wife, a family. A future. And now its all gone, because of me. What kind of person could do that? I didn't have an answer. It was all silent.
"Bella," Edward finally spoke slowly. "Everything thing is going to be alright."
I hissed. All of them seemed to get defensive.
Alright? Alright? None of this can be alright, ever. I know what kind of person could have done this. Edward was right in the end. He was always right. I am a monster. We all are. No matter how hard we try to go against our true nature, in the end were all monsters. Shameless killers for blood.
"Bella," Carlisle spoke. "Are you alright?" He sounded concerned. Concerned about me? What about the man I just killed. Shouldn't we take him close to town, so someone can find him atleast . . .
"Bella." Edward spoke again, this time taking a step closer to me. I took a step back. He shouldn't be near someone like me. No one ever should.
He took another step and I did the same.
"Bella please, it's okay, please say something. Everythings alright love." He said soothingly.
Okay? Alright? I couldn't take it anymore.
"Alright?" I screamed. "Edward are you f****** blind. I just brutally murdered this man. How can it possibly be alright?" It never would be. I am a murdered.
"Calm down Bella." Said Carlisle in a soft voice. "We will fix this Bella," He turned to the others, "Take her home."
"Fix this? How? Really tell me how Carlisle. This thing can never be fixed nor undone." I yelled hysterically.
I could feel Jasper sending a calming wave to me. I hissed. "Jasper stop."
"Come on Bella," Said Edward holding out his hand. I just looked at it. A part of my didn't want to take his hand and just run away, because I was just so self disgusted with myself. And another part of me wanted to wrap my arms and sob tearless sobs. Knowing that if I was in his arms that he would make it somewhat better, he would comfort me, take me away from this self-torture. My mind was torn. Because I didn't want to be comforted. I deserved this. But I couldn't just run off on Renesme. Oh god. What am I going to tell her. I wonder what she would think of me then. Her own mother, a killer. But I should be there, for her and Edward. I knew Edward would follow me if I ran. Who would be there for Nessie? I slipped into a deep self loathing depression. I couldn't stand anyone who would want to be around me, a killer. But I needed to be there for Renesme.
I looked up at Edward, I seen pain in his eyes echoed in my own. They must all hate me I thought.
I walked forward and took his hand and looked down.
"I'm sorry Carlise." I felt so disgusted in myself.
"Bella everyone messes up. But it feels great to know that you are strong enough to resist the next time and the next time. It's really a wonderful feeling." Said Jasper.
"I agree with Jasper. You are and will be strong enough to resist the urge next time. We all will support and help you out, and we will never give up on you. Ever. We all love you no matter what." Said Carlisle in a sure voice.
I just nodded. They were just words. How did they know I will be strong enough, already, even though I hated myself for it, I wanted to go hunt for more blood. How will they know I can stop, knowing what humans finally taste like. The blood rushing on my tongue. The taste . . . I stopped that thought in its place. I can't think of the blood.
"What about my eyes?" I asked. I didn't want to see them be red, not to the cause of being a newborn, but because there was blood on my hands.
"Well usually a couple deer clear that up Bella," Said Carlisle softly. "Alice," He said, he was making sure to see if our hunt would be a success. To see if anyone else would die because of me.
"All clear Carlisle," She said in a low voice. "We're going south."
"Okay."
We all ran in a steady place, Edward still holding my hand. I could feel them all tense when we crossed the deers scent. It didn't smell appetizing.
There were eight deer.
"Bella take as much as you want," Said Edward.
I sighed. I stepped forward letting go of his hand. I crouched down, and went for the buck. I threw him down and broke his neck. Putting him out of his misery quick. The rest scattered but then Carlisle and Edward stopped two. Probably for me, just in case. My eyes tightened at the thought.
I bit down on his neck and the blood was flowing into my mouth. It was horrible. But I kept drinking. Soon the deer was dried and I got up and took Edward's deer and drank again.
When I was done I hoped that my eyes weren't red.
"How are they." I said looking into Edward's eye's.
"They are honey gold." He smiled at me.
I looked down, unable to keep looking at him.
We all went running towards the house and it was 9:45
Renesme would be home in 15 minutes.
We all walked into the dinning room. I sat down by Edward, across from Esme. Alice sat next to Esme to her left, and Jasper next to Alice. Rosalie across from Jasper and Emmett just standing behind her. Carlise was sitting at the front.
I spoke one of my concerns from the forest.
"I don't know if Renesme should know about . . . this." I said in a low voice. My voice sounded different. Almost dead, but I could even hear the deep sadness in it, only thing that kept it alive.
"No she shouldn't." Said Rosalie. "She would be worried about you, and she shouldn't worry when nothings wrong." She said almost ignorantly.
"This is Bella's decision." Said Edward in a hard voice, glaring at Rosalie.
"I think it would be best if the conversation is put on hold, we should not bring it up, but if it ever came up then maybe Bella you tell her whatever you think is best for her." Said Carlise.
"I agree," Said Emse.
"So do I," Said Alice and Jasper.
"Same" Agreed Emmett.
That made sense. But I would dread the day when the conversation would come up, I didn't want my daughter to know about the man I killed. But I didn't want to lie to her.
"Alright." I said.
I got up and walked upstairs into Edward's bedroom and stared out the window. No one followed. I expected Edward to follow, but he was probably having some conversation with Alice about me.
I wanted to be alone anyways. I could barely stand it in there. But I heard a chair move, and Edward coming upstairs. He walked in pausing at the door, I stood my back to him.
"Bella," He said in a soft voice. "Please talk to me, I'm so worried." His voice broke. I was causing him pain from my own pain.
Talk to him, talk to him and tell him that he was right, that we are monsters. Then he would say something like " I always knew you would regret becoming what I am," He would end up blaming what I have done on himself. Like always when I messed up.
I turned around, and looked him in the eye, I felt so lost. I needed Edward. I wanted him. But how could be want me after what I have done.
He walked towards me. He put his hands on my face and I leaned into them. I closed my eyes and let the pain burst out of me.
I was in his arms sobbing. He just held me while I cried tearless sobs.
"Oh Bella," I heard so much pain in his beautiful voice. It hurt me even more.
I brought his face to mine and kissed him on the lips. He kissed me back. Our hands moving over each other. He brought us to the bed. He pushed me down on the bed and I brought him with me. I couldn't bear to let him go.
We just layed there with his arms wrapped around me.
I wondered if Renesme would notice anything, she was a smart girl. It's best if she doesn't notice anything. She wouldn't want a monster for a mother. A killer, who hunted for blood. Who would take someones life away, everything from them just so I can feed.
And I still wanted the blood. More , there would never be enough, I wanted it all. And that's why Renemse could never ever find out. Because I was sure that Carlisle put to much faith in me. The second the blood reached my tongue, I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to just feeding on animals. I didn't want to acknowledge this. Because I was afraid. Afraid to lose everything, Edward, my daughter, my family. . . afraid to come to realizations with myself that there was no going back.
We heard Jacob's car pulling up.

Hope you enjoyed reading. :)

Comment if you liked/hated it.

Here's my Fanfiction link if yah wanna read some more stories, but im going to be putting them all up here anyways. :)

Views: 82

Tags: bella, cool, cullen, cuz, edward, im, like, moon, new, swan, More…that, twilight

Comment by Tess B Eriksson on October 30, 2010 at 12:49pm
Liked it! Could't find the link...
Comment by Alice Jasper Bella Cullen on October 30, 2010 at 12:58pm
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THATS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please put your fan fic link up its not on the blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg i hope theres another chapter!!!!
Comment by robpattinzon on October 30, 2010 at 8:41pm
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6108138/1/Emmett_gets_Bella_Drunk

sorry didnt seem to go right. Lol.
and im pretty sure there will be some more chapters....
and im going to add another story, its called 'emmet gets bella drunk' haha. thank you for reading my story means alot (:
Comment by robpattinzon on October 31, 2010 at 9:04am
hah, thanks (:
Comment by robpattinzon on October 31, 2010 at 9:04am

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