Allegedly Lainey Gossip has got her eyes on a copy of the Breaking Dawn Part 1 script. Whether you choose to believe her or not is up to you. If she did, then what is below is a spoiler mixed with bashing of the script. If she didn't, then what below is gossip/bashing/a laughable story. It all depends on your view. We don't censor Twilight information here, we share it. Now onto the details...
Bella and Edward get married, there’s some sex, and then a hybrid baby, and then a really lame war which will actually play ever so
slightly better on film because, well, someone other than Stephenie Meyer wrote the screenplay.
Having said that, for the faithful, there is still So.Much.Cheese for you to enjoy. Like the wedding toasts. The wedding toasts in Part 1 are perhaps the most cliché and uninspired words you will hear next year. And when delivered by Kellan Lutz, Jesus Christ it’ll be a great time, to go and laugh yourself silly with your
friends. Or squeeze their hands from the pain of the fontrum. It really
depends on how you react to such things.
If it were me, because you never know what will end up in editing, I would cut that sh-t out and leave the sex scenes intact. Before that though, if they stay true
to the script, Edward and Carlisle have a birds and the bees talk that
is supposed to be, I guess, the vampire advice equivalent to human boys
and “baseball”. When does a boy think about baseball? Baseball is for
bringing you back from the brink. Therefore Edward Cullen’s premature
ejaculation = crushing his wife to death when he’s taking her virginity,
preventable, according to his father, by thoughts of baseball.
F-cking unintentional comedy gold. Please leave that sh-t in. Please, please, please.
And what’s Kristen Stewart looking forward to? She spoke to Access Hollywood, video is below, about being excited about heading back to
work on the blockbuster series, and perhaps some of that has to do with
shooting those highly anticipated intimate moments.
There are three of them in total in Part 1 right now. The first is in the water, and they get the business started with a super cringe line, as Bella
walks naked into the ocean and looks at the moon and sighs that “it’s
beautiful”, to which Edward replies, while looking at her and obviously
not the moon...
See, I just laughed out loud writing that.
Happily though, they dispose of the dialogue quickly and then it’s supposed to be all limbs and writhing and wrapping around each other from the sea to
the house and much of it is relayed, rather cleverly actually, in
flashback form. After they show the initial hook up from beach to
bedroom, we jump to the morning after as Edward is constipated about
something and Bella is examining her body. Cut to her memories of the
night before, the touching, and his kissing the length of her body, and
the clenching, and her head thrown back, and his struggle to, um, think
about baseball, and her resulting pleasure, and some furniture gets
broken. It actually reads pretty erotic, and if they cut it the way it’s
written, it should be even hotter to watch. Even I would enjoy watching
it if they stay with that spirit.
She keeps begging for it afterwards, and the two following love scenes are more of the same soft porny vibe which, to be honest, totally impressed me because having blue balled it for 3 straight movies, I thought they would pull that sh-t
all over again. On paper though, they appear to be totally going for it.
Which means that’s how they’ll shoot it. So you’ll just have to hope
they don’t f-ck around with it in the edit suite.