I sighed, gazing out the window. Times in my life that I felt hopeless--now. One of the days that i feel at my worse. Why? I'll summerize it for you. I'm upset, mad and pretty darn frustrated. Family, friends, love ones, classmates, school. It's still 2:46 PM and I already feel like giving up. While gazing out the window, I saw birds flying. How I wish I was a bird. Free. No worries whatsoever. Our teacher was discussing about our new lesson. I wasn't paying much attention, too busy getting mad and being upset. I kept nodding, hoping she won't suspect me not listening. I can't help but wonder why there are always people who piss me. I guess you can't please anybody. One of my closest friends was shouting. Probably trying to get out teacher's attention, but I didn't care much to listen or too see who it was. I kept glancing back and forth my paper and the blackboard. Then I remembered, I wasn't always this silent. Maybe because I was to frustrated to even open my mouth and talk. I was sitting at the front, row number six, and there were eight rows all in all. I heard some scissors being use and people talking at the back, making bandaretas for our lame convocation tomorrow afternoon. I wasn't at all excited for our program. There weren't any modern dances, just good old folk dance. That was one of my problems. I hated having practises. I didn't have any big part there but all of us were asked to join, then all my problems started yesterday, during our TLE subjects, when I saw the most unusual vandals...
Walking and talking with some friends, we came into our room. I scanned it shortly until my eyes came across an arm chair with black writings on it. Knowing how poor my eye sight was, I came closer and read it. "JENOA 'BABE' 08-13-08". I stood there silently. Alot of things were popping into my head. JENOA stands for Jon and Chenoa, Jon my boyfriend, and Chenoa, his ex-girlfriend. 'BABE' is what they call each other when they were still on. August 13, 2008 was the day they started being together. Also reffered to as "Anniversary". I have never seen those writings before. They weren't there yesterday. I felt sad. She's out to get me and break us apart. In the middle of my reverie, I felt a light pressure on my left shoulder and turned to see who it was. Vanessa, sort of my close friend and my safe harbor. I could tell her anything I wanted to that I couldn't to anybody else. She was five foot tall, had long straight black hair upto her shoulders with dark brown eyes. I didn't know how she knew I was upset. Maybe she saw the straint in my eyes. She glanced at the chair I was starring and gasped lightly. She knew. Both of us were thinking the same thing. It didn't make sense. Didn't Chenoa tell everyone that she had moved on? Vannessa looked at me and smiled ruefully, trying to comfort and assure me. I tried to smile back, but she knew I was still upset. "It's okay Mal. Chenoa and Jon broke up a long time ago.", a smile. But they broke up a few months back and that made me feel uneasy. I sighed, nooded, and took my seat, next to the chair with the vandals, just before our teacher arrived. "Okay class, please all rise. Leah, you, please lead the prayer." he coughed. I was pulled out of my little epiphany. I couldn't hear anything, until someone pulled my right arm to let me sit down. I didn't turn to see who it was. Cody, i guessed. He was the one supposedly occupying that chair. Me and Jon were close friends from elementary up to last 2 years ago when he asked me to be his girlfriend, but my best friend, Hazel, turned him down, in other words, dumped him. I was going to say yes, having to like him for 8 years now up to date, but he was too broken hearted to even answer my texts. after that incident, me and Jon never had any communication until one day, when he suddenly BUZZED me on MSN.
JON: BUZZ! :)
I still remember being nervous. My heart skipped a beat. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It's Jon! It's him! but then i remembered, he isn't single. Still in a relationship with Chenoa.
JON: hey mal! long time no talk, though i see u in school everyday. LOL. why wont you say 'hi' to me? :(
MAL: thats coz i dont need to.and hello :P
JON: ahw :( dont be like that mal. next time i say 'hi' greet me back pls? :D
MAL: lol. sure sure. so how you been? you and chenoa doing okay? i heard you had your one year anniversary. wow. thats huge!
i frowned. if i had said 'yes' to him, it would have been our one year anniversary. this was hard. but i know someday, it'd going to make sense. there was a reason for this.
JON: yeah, im ok. maybe we didnt have to reach a year if you had said yes to me ;) maybe it would have been us. :(
MAL: lol. nice joke. change topic. :D
we talked for almost 2 hours, having random topics. He told me about his dog, named Boggart. since i also have a dog, he asked me alot of questions about dogs and how to take care of them, thus, having a long conversation. I have to admit, i missed him. A few years back, it had always been fun. Both of us talking and teasing each other. having awkward moments. i never expected falling for him. when i thought it was enough, i told him i had to go.
MAL: i have to go :D
JON: ahw :( but i'll miss you too much ;)
MAL: what?! :O you have chenoa jon, dont forget that. just text me if you need me or anything. bye :D take care..tell chenoa i said 'hi' :)
JON: ok then :| bye mal. you too. and i will.
i was suddenly pulled out from my small epiphany when our teacher suddenly called me, "Mallory Smith, you there, the girl with brunnette hair. what is needed in business and enterprenuerial skills. give atleast one" he coughed.
"Capital", a smile.
I wasn't paying much attention to class. this subject was easy and wasn't all so important compared to biology or math. I sat properly, trying to show respect. we were talking about business, easy enough. after an hour, we finally finished our subject. i scanned the room, looking for Jasmine. She was a band member, same as me. She knew Chenoa and she has been my friend since first grade. She's 5 foot, 3 inches tall, taller than me by an inch, green-eyed and tan. She has long, wavy, shoulder-length hair, kind of blonde, but not quite. She has braces, but still looked beautiful with them on. I silently waited for her to come out of the room since i was already outside, and walk with her to the music room, band member's lounge room. No Music Arts and Physical Education and Health for us (MAPEH). we were exempted from it. she saw me waiting for her and smiled. we walked silently to the room which was only just a few meters from our previous room. i opened the door which was old and might broke if i kicked it really hard. we heard Baylee and Cody talking ang arguing about something i was too lazy to even listen or rather, cared about. the room was dimly lit with the windows already opened. it was about 15 to 5 meters in length and width. there was an old piano in the far end of the room with some guitars and instruments hanging by the wall. drums linning up at the right and the lyres at the left. a table about two and a half meters long was placed in the middle withten chairs linning up, four at the right, four at the left, and one each end. they were arranged neatly. i grabbed the first chair, nearest to me and placed my hand bag and on top, threw with the slightest pressure, my folder. i stood there for a few seconds and went out without a word. Annette and Cody were still talking and paused briefly when i went out, and resumed the moment i was out. i didn't feel well, not in the physical way but my emotional side. i was upset about the vandal. still, she loves him and would do anything to break us up. No one will surrender-- but i won't give in. already, it had been 15 minutes since i went out and stood still thinking deeply. i heard some footsteps from the tunnel which was 5 meters away from where i was standing. out came some students who i recognized as Jon's friends. Taking a deep breath, i saw him came out and went directly to the direction where i was standing. he smiled. his smile was so gorgeous that it took my breath away. he was pale white, same as me. a few inches taller that me, with curly dark hair. i smiled back. i was amused by the thought that i wasn't the type of person who would go red or blush if embarassed or if he was near. my skin didn't gave me away. he didn't know how happy i felt when i see him. it was my closest friends that told him how funny i behaved when i was constantly reminded of him. not that i was embarassed but i just didn't want him to know how crazily inlove i was. i stood up and smiled at the same time. i didnt want to tell him about the vandals. i didnt want to upset him, and telling him wasnt the best idea. he would assure me he would protect me and wouldnt let chenoa touch me. not that i needed protection, of course. in my mind, i was rolling my eyes on the thought. as i walked toward him, his smile suddenly vanished. his face turned from happy to serious. i was nervous. more bad news?
"I need to talk to you about something. It's important." A frown.
i didnt like the way he said it. he looked down and went silent. I couldn't speak. there were so many things rumaging through my head. i waited for him to speak, but we both just stayed quiet. finally, after a moment, he stared at me, looking through my eyes, and i can see how deep his eyes were. he must have saw something there because he just sighed, turned away and left without saying any further. i just stared at his back, too nervous to even open my mouth. i felt heavy. my heart sort of ached in a weird way. i didnt like it any bit. what was he so upset about?
Chapter 3-Bad News
Maybe i would have stood there forever if my phone didnt vibrate and wake me from my reverie. I touched my pocket and fished for my phone. I pulled it out and opened it. It contained a text message from Jon. I was scared. something bad is going to happen. i felt it. i held it tightly and pressed 'read':
i have to tell you something..im so sorry. i still love someone else. i always had, i always will. please understand me. im so sorry.
i read it over and over again. trying to make sense on what he just texted me. i felt my face go blank. i checked to see if it was really jon who sent me that text. i read and reread it again, checked the time and date sent. there was no mistake. he really did sent me that text. i didnt understand. it wasn't chenoa. i was sure of that. Peyton. peyton was his girlfriend after breaking up with chenoa. then after peyton broke up with him, it was me. how blind was i? i went back to the music room. i took my bag and folder and went out without a word. i heard someone ask what was about me. it was really odd. i got super sensitive hearing. i could hear people even when they talk quietly, but i don't hear the exact sound made by things. i ran out and crossed the road from the tunnel. i waited for the security guard to tell me when to cross. as soon as i entered the other campus, i looked around and searched for jon, not really sure if i wanted to see him. there was a single building in campus. a big one, with a library at the middle, and rooms at both sides. the cafeteria stood beside it with a few trees linning at both sides, located at the right. i automatically ran to the cafeteria. i didnt know why. half running, probably off to buy some drink, i saw some guys walking toward the direction i was running at. i recognized them as jon's friends. it was them of course, but no jon in sight. i sighed. thankgoodness. if i ever saw him, i would slap him in the face.
"oh hey mal! i saw jon storm off a few moments ago. sort of looked upset." andy, one of his closest friends. i smiled. trying to hide the pain. there were five of them. andy, taller than me by a few inches. he had a dark complexion. sort of oblong-faced, but he was kind. justine, my ex-boyfriend. he was shorter than jon was. has short black hair. i sighed. the others i didn't know who they were.
"thanks andy. me and jon had a little chat a few moments ago too. were OK" a smile.
i saw justine react a bit and mouthed a few words.
"he must of did it" to low for the others to hear.
and instantly i knew what he was talking about. he and jon were the closest of friends. all their secrets, each of them knew. they bonded like brothers. so close that they would be okay with it if they lived in the same roof. i didnt care much at that time.
"hey, i have to go, somewhere" i told them.
"ok then. bye mal" a grin from andy.
i walked off and they continued walking. i rounded up the whole campus and thought i should go home. when i almost crossed the road, i saw chenoa starring at me. my heart froze. not now, i thought. i was alone. dammit! but she couldnt touch me. not here, not now. there were too many students around and especially, there were teachers around. she cant make a scene. she'll be suspended. i smiled at that. she saw me smiling and cursed a few times. i smiled at her, not the friendly type, but the mocking one. i was enjoying myself. i laughed as i passed by at her. why should i be afraid at her? she didnt have any more reason to want to kill me so often.
"why so desprate people?" i whispered. loud enough for her to hear, but low enough for the other people to not recognize.
i heard her teeth snap and her face turn red. super mad. i kept my mouth shut and listened for her reaction. she grinded her teeth together and i heard her footsteps toward me. i crossed the road and she didnt have much time to cross too because there was a truck and alot of vehicles. a close one. then i remembered, if she ever hurt me,Jon couldn't do anything because he and I are no more. i cringed at the thought that would probably hunt me until i was so full of it that i would rant on and on to her about how immature she was. she stormed off and glared until i was out of her sight. i called a taxi and went in. i couldnt stay in that school anymore. not with Jon in there.