My Twilight Confession: The Upside of Obsession
January 5th, 2009 by Traci Post
I confess. I am a Twilight fanatic. In a matter of two weeks, I read all four books, saw the movie twice, and bought the soundtrack. It was like a sickness, I couldn’t stop. I tried to fight it at first, but by the fourth chapter I’d completely given into the madness. I buried my nose deep into the books during every free moment, stealing myself away from much-needed sleep and midday meals.
After a few days in my Twilight-induced haze, I suddenly thought…what the hell was up with me? Why did these books have me suddenly relishing my 90-minute bus commute? Why couldn’t I put them down? Why had I become possessed by a desperate need to know about a gorgeous teenage vampire and his plain human girlfriend?
The romance. Ah, romance. That sweet rush of breathlessness.
I remembered romance. I missed romance.
Finding Romance in My Own Life
And then I was awake. I was ripped out of the doldrums of my work-home-sleep-work-home-sleep life and awakened to the fact that I had been asleep. It’s so easy to get lost in the day to day, to lose oneself to schedules and obligations, and getting comfortable translates so quickly into getting bored. The importance of romance is so easily forgotten, yet so easily reclaimed.
So why didn’t I? What was stopping me?
Nothing, it seems. (Well, nothing but a bit of sweetly misplaced jealousy. I promise, Honey…I know Edward Cullen is fictional. I want to be with you.) I decided to allow myself to remember that exciting newness from when my husband and I met, and that desperate feeling I’d get when he was away from me. I remembered, and I felt it again.
And, magically, it was all back. The kisses started to linger, my heart jumped when I remembered the shocking blue of his eyes, and the gap between us that seemed necessary for sound sleep closed when I remembered how my cheek fit just so on his chest.
Dear readers, please stop gagging now. My point is not to make you nauseated, but to make you look a little deeper.
What’s Your Obsession Telling You?
What is your obsession? What’s that one pretend thing that you just can’t get enough of? And what is it telling you?
It’s saying something when it stirs inside you and keeps you awake. It’s speaking to you — and you should listen. Wake up and pay attention. Don’t let yourself be satisfied simply by visiting a make-believe world again and again…bring it into your life. Create it for yourself.
Maybe your obsession is an old movie. Perhaps you could spend the afternoon snatching up beautiful vintage finds? Or maybe it’s Jane Austen. Remind yourself that your husband is your Mr. Darcy. Maybe it’s James Bond. Get yourself a fancy gadget, a tux, and a martini. Indulge your fantasy and allow yourself the joy. It’s really not as hard as it seems. Maybe it will spur you to be a little more romantic, a little more daring, a little more willing to bring excitement back into your life.
[Photo by Or Hiltch