We’re less than a month away from New Moon
, and of course the tabloids are beefing up their coverage of our favorite couple that never touches in public: Kristen Stewart
and Robert Pattinson
(see our ultimate Robsten photo gallery
). But OK! Magazine
has gone above and beyond in covering the couple, with some of the most absurd claims we’ve ever seen. We’ve compiled the 11 covers OK! has dedicated to the grungy pair since the beginning of May, and judging from their allegations, Rob and Kristen have really dealt with some serious ups and downs since reportedly getting together.
For fun, here’s our interpretation of OK!’s suggested timeline of six months of Robsten love drama: Kristen’s gotta pick Rob or her ex (Michael Angarano) - Wait, screw Michael, they’re in love - Ohhhh, now they’re obsessed with each other like Eminem and Mariah - Nope, Rob’s doin’ that chick from “Lost” - Oh, hey now, they’re back together again and it’s steamy - HOLY EFF THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED - Hm, this marriage thing sure is risky for Rob for some reason - Hey! They’re not private, we’re hanging out in their house! House? What house? It’s over!
Why, just a few weeks ago Rob and Kristen were engaged
and canoodling in their “celestial palace,” and yet this week they’ve just magically gone and called their “wedding” off (Gossip Cop’s call bullsh*t on the story, natch
). Forget that Kristen’s not even 20 years old and they’ve never actually even come out as a couple. Next thing you know, OK! will have them reconciling in space and adopting orphans from Africa while training to ride unicycles. Anything to sell a couple of issues, eh? [Photos: OK! Magazine]