On Behalf Of Twifans- An EJC WARNING TO PARIS-"KEEP YOUR TACKY ACRYLICS OFF' OUR ROBERT!"

I almost choked on my ham sandwich when I read that Paris Hilton was trying to seduce our R.Pattz at the Oscars!
I'm jealous of any girl who gets anywhere near him (except Kristen maybe) but PLEASE NOT HER!!! It just can't happen! Can you Imagine? After I'd spat out the piece of sandwich that was preventing me from yelling-I then went into hyperventilation mode! All these horrible thoughts running through my mind: Her kissing him! Touching Him-you know what I mean!! Their Chanel/Gucci clad wedding!! The Beverly Hills 3.25 Million Dollar Mansion! The sickly perfectly produced BurberryBabies *WINCE*!! I can see it in my mind-all over the papers as I try very hard to suck in enough breath to keep me frickin alive! crumbs scratching my throat making me choke more! I see it clear as day!

ROB AND PARIS-THATS HOT!

Well you see!? IT's TOTALLY 100% NOT!!

I finally calm down and try very hard (though not successful) to convince myself that i'd just jumped to conclusions and had a majorly bad 'day-nightmare' lol.

So that is why I decided to post this-to give her a warning on behalf of all of us and here it is:

"Paris Hilton"

(Oh and by the way I'm British so If your trying to imagine it in your head (AWESOME) just imagine this in a british accent) :)

"Paris Hilton, If you even GLANCE at OUR Robert a.k.a. The dashing, gorgeous and TOTALLY NOT YOURS Edward Cullen, I will TEAR YOU APART AND BURN THE PIECES FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY "BITE ME!!". You got it 'sweetie'??

^

NOW THATS HOT!!

All My xx((TWILOVE))xx to Y'all!

EJC
xxx

Comment by O~*~ClaireBear~*~O on February 25, 2009 at 9:44am: wow. this has got to be the best blog EVER! its soooooooooo funny but the warning still rings true.. if Paris even dared touch him....UGH! .....i would meet up with you EJC and we could go and kick her tacky, trampy ass!

have you seen her on ITV2's Paris Hilton's search for a British Best Friend....errrrr. GET A LIFE PARIS! you have to 'search' for a friend here in england because everyone in america is finally sick of seeing your ugly face at every party in Hollywood! GO AWAY you beast! and leave our rob ALONE!

power to the twifans people! x x x x

Comment by O~*~ClaireBear~*~O on February 25, 2009 at 9:45am: btw EJC you should totally become a proffesional blogger or something! such good descriptions LOL

Comment by Aimee on February 25, 2009 at 10:35am: I with ya girl! Let's get her!

Comment by ElizabethJaneCullen on February 25, 2009 at 1:47pm: why thankyou! :D

EJC
xxx

Comment by Alison Genet on February 25, 2009 at 2:46pm: that's a club if i ever heard it....girls against rpatz and paris relations

Comment by Sheena (The Pillow Fiend) on February 25, 2009 at 2:46pm: "Start the fire, get the floorboards...."

"We'll rip [her] apart and burn the pieces."