I almost choked on my ham sandwich when I read that Paris Hilton was trying to seduce our R.Pattz at the Oscars!
I'm jealous of any girl who gets anywhere near him (except Kristen maybe) but PLEASE NOT HER!!! It just can't happen! Can you Imagine? After I'd spat out the piece of sandwich that was preventing me from yelling-I then went into hyperventilation mode! All these horrible thoughts running through my mind: Her kissing him! Touching Him-you know what I mean!! Their Chanel/Gucci clad wedding!! The Beverly Hills 3.25 Million Dollar Mansion! The sickly perfectly produced BurberryBabies *WINCE*!! I can see it in my mind-all over the papers as I try very hard to suck in enough breath to keep me frickin alive! crumbs scratching my throat making me choke more! I see it clear as day!
ROB AND PARIS-THATS HOT!
Well you see!? IT's TOTALLY 100% NOT!!
I finally calm down and try very hard (though not successful) to convince myself that i'd just jumped to conclusions and had a majorly bad 'day-nightmare' lol.
So that is why I decided to post this-to give her a warning on behalf of all of us and here it is:
(Oh and by the way I'm British so If your trying to imagine it in your head (AWESOME) just imagine this in a british accent) :)
"Paris Hilton, If you even GLANCE at OUR Robert a.k.a. The dashing, gorgeous and TOTALLY NOT YOURS Edward Cullen, I will TEAR YOU APART AND BURN THE PIECES FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY "BITE ME!!". You got it 'sweetie'??
NOW THATS HOT!!
All My xx((TWILOVE))xx to Y'all!