First, let me make fun of myself for watching the Team Choice Awards and for this subsequent blog post before (ahem)…you do. Yes, according to social norms, I should not care about this awards show or any of the stars in attendance. I should be watching “CSI Miami” or something boring like that. And ok, so I might sound cooler if I didn’t know any of the teen heartthrob-ish references that they littered throughout the show such as “Bieber Fever” and I probably should be too busy to know who Taylor “Hotner” is. But the fact of the matter is, not only do I know who Mr. Hotner is – I concur with the reference. Annnnnnd I sort of have Bieber Fever too. I’m a geek of epic proportion. Done. I beat you to the punch. Now can we get to more important matters at hand, like who won for “Choice Male Hottie” and “Choice Smile”?

So in case the earlier reference of Taylor “Hotner” didn’t give it away, he won “Choice Hottie”. And instead of standing up there slowly unbuttoning his shirt and doing some impressive peck dance, he let the Choice Hottie female, Megan Fox, do all the talkin’. Meh. Her speech went something like this: (Cue your best valley girl voice) “I never expected to win this award, even though I won it last year and…” (And blah blah blah she freaking annoys me). She did redeem herself however when she fondled Taylor’s biceps on stage about 20 feet away from her new husband, Brian Austin Green. Classic!

Oh and, TayTay won for “Choice Smile” too. “What an honor”. Not my words – his!

One of the standout moments from the night was the “Step Up 3D” cast performing a crazy dance routine that included two dancers propelling themselves off the stage onto the ground floor just inches away from the audience. I don’t know about you, but whenever I see this kind of stuff I always wonder, what if this wasn’t a safe landing? What if they totally blew the flip and landed on their head on live TV?! It would be so tragic and totally mess with the vibe of the show, so I’m glad it never usually happens. I just have a morbid mind I guess.

Other fun moments of the night…

Robert Pattinson won “Choice Male Actor, Drama” and he was downright giddy and mumbly as he accepted the award. He said; “It’s really nice to win for something other than ‘Twilight’ because you guys kind of have some kind of consistency. (Mumble mumble…) I don’t know what I’m talking about. THANK YOU VERY MUCH”. And I totally noticed him swatting Taylor Hotner’s leg as he walked passed him to accept the award. I could read his mind and it said something like this: “Fine, you can dethrone me as the ‘Choice Male Hottie’ this year and you can keep your better ‘Choice Smile’ award. I’ll take an acting award!!” HA!


The biggest shocker of the night: Taylor Hotner wins “Choice Male Actor, Fantasy” and not ROBERT PATTINSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaat? Ok, now let me catch my breath, this is a real blow to RPattz’ ego. Now, first let me gloat and admit that YES, I voted online for the Teen Choice Awards. Twice. And despite my never ending allegiance to Robert Pattinson, I voted twice for Taylor Hotner to win this award. TayTay’s Jacob just did a better job in “New Moon” hands down. And he was also in the movie for more than five minutes, so that helped him etch out his competition. When Jacob got up to accept his award he said; “I don’t even know how to thank you right now” and the first thought that popped into my head was: You can start by taking off your shirt…

As Taylor smugly took his seat next to Rob during the commercial break, I could read his mind too (it’s a gift I have, I’m kind of like Edward with my mind reading). He said something like; “I not only dethroned you as the ‘Choice Hottie’, but I’ve now dethroned you as ‘Choice Fantasy Actor’ ANNNNND I have a better smile for which I also won an award (and you weren’t even nominated). You’re losin’ it man.”

OOOOOH SNAP! GEEEEZ Taylor, that was so harsh!

And to round out the night, “Twilight Saga: New Moon” won best movie. Okaaaaay, this friends, is no shocker!

Now, what channel is CSI Miami on? I’m thinking I need a little redemption after all of this…

Originally posted on my blog: Pop Culture Junkie.

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