Sitting by myself, in a theatre near my home, watching Breaking Dawn Part I for the third time, I had an epiphany. This moment has compelled me to write my first blog post on Twifans and share my experience with the Twilight Saga.
Let me say, first of all, that I am a Twilight newbie. I got my first taste of Twilight quite by accident, although, by this point, I've realized that nothing is a coincidence when it comes to Twilight. It is, as my dear husband says, a disease that you never recover from.
I was bitten by the Twilight bug in 2010 after running out of good movie options at my local library. Usually a Notebook or Becoming Jane kind of girl, I took a chance on a cheesy looking movie called Twilight. I thought, "Oh, what the hell. Might as well see what all the fuss is about."
At this time, New Moon on DVD was being promoted non-stop on TV so I sat down to watch Twilight and to form my own opinions on the "world-wide phenomenon." The movie was sweet, and yes, I'm sorry, rather cheesy in spots, but I found the story compelling. The movie also featured a really nice credits sequence that I stuck around to watch. I'm so glad I did.
During that sequence, I saw something that would literally change my life. "Based on the book written by Stephenie Meyer" flashed across the screen and an addiction was born. I honestly had no idea there was a book series. Because I had found the movie interesting, I went back to the library and laid my hands on a black, red, and white masterpiece. I read a book a day but had to wait for someone to return Breaking Dawn to the library before I could read it. It was a very long week. I got the book in the evening and stayed up all night reading it, finishing just as my husband came downstairs to get ready for work.
Of course, I went on to watch New Moon on DVD and began to question my sanity after watching Eclipse, my first Twilight movie at the theatre, six times. Two years later, sitting, as I said, in the theatre, watching Breaking Dawn Part I, I began to evaluate my experience and what has changed since I first sat down to watch Twilight.
One Bella/Edward Christmas tree ornament, five crisp, but well read hardback books sitting in a place of honor, a sign that says, "My favorite time of day is Twilight", a bulletin board filled with movie stubs, pictures, and buttons, Twifans and Stephenie Meyer's web pages favorited on my computer, several sweet and steamy attempts at fanfiction written and posted online, yeah, I'd say things have changed quite a bit.
So, my epiphany, well there were several. First, I found myself regretting the fact that I am a Twilight Ninja. I'm still in the closet. My husband and daughter know that I love Twilight but no one else. Am I ashamed? No, not ashamed, I'm protective, of Twilight and of my experience with it. I refuse to allow anyone to scoff at or diminish what Twilight has meant to me. Frankly, unless you're a Twifan, you just don't get it. However, this time around, I found myself wishing I had a friend/friends I could share the experience with. It has been a very solitary journey for me.
My second realization came while watching the wedding. I found myself actually wishing Bella and Edward the best in my mind. I was thinking, "They are such an awesome couple. They belong together. I hope everything works out well for them." I sat up straight in my reclining theatre chair and said, "What. Are you serious? First of all, they are not real. Second, you already know how it works out for them. Why are you wishing them well?"
I knew then that I had stepped over the line that many of us have or will. Twilight had become real to me and I was not watching them get married, I was at that wedding. Some may say that's crazy or over the top but I don't believe that. I've witnessed this same level of investment and loss of reality in my own living room. My husband gets so excited when watching Darth Vader choke someone with his mind and he still gets emotional and choked up at the training sequence in Rocky even though he's seen it a million times. Armchair football fans are at that game...that is their team and they are emotionally invested in the outcome of the game. My poor husband pouts for days when his college team loses.
So, I find myself not on the crazy end but on the human end. We all have something that we love, something that speaks to us on a level that even we don't understand. I think it will be a long time before I really get a grasp on why Twilight has moved me in the ways that it has. I look forward to discovering those reasons and to enjoying Twilight in the years to come.
Which brings me to my last epiphany, it's the beginning of the end. After watching this movie, I can't wait for the final one. There are so many parts that I am anxious to see. This is a bad thing though. It will be the end. What will become of my experience when the party is over?
Breaking Dawn I was a Twilight fan's paradise. I'm so glad Stephenie Meyer was involved and I believe she was the reason it turned out so great. Twilight fans have stuck with the series through thick and thin and this movie rewarded them with so many beautiful and emotional scenes. I found it very rewarding, full of "remember this" moments that only served to reignite my love for it in the first place...brought it full circle.
Contemplating this last thought, Twilight came on cable last night and of course, much to my husband's dislike, I had to watch it. I do not own the DVD's. I'm waiting for the super platinum, gazillion extras, special edition that will come when it's all over. This movie is not my favorite, in fact, I cannot even watch the scene in the forest because it is so bad, but I watched it anyway. I felt so nostalgic after watching Breaking Dawn. Watching the beginning after you've seen the end is quite nice.
So, in conclusion, I see many hours of DVD watching in my future. I'm seriously thinking about a trip to Forks, Washington and may even join some type of group to keep the experience and conversation going. I'll continue to wait patiently and hopefully for the best gift Stephenie Meyer could give her fans...Midnight Sun and will read/see anything she puts out. I feel I owe it to her.
I'm sad it's coming to an end but so grateful to have been along for the ride, even though I got on board a bit late. It has been a pleasure being on this crazy train with all of you.