The Tales of EJC Part 2 'Like My Own Personal Brand Of Heroin' (EJC's OUTRAGE AT BRITS EXCLUSION ON NEW MOON COMPETITION!)

Sooo, I have no more tears to cry-as I've used them all up! No more screaming to yell-I've used that all up too.
YES

EJC has had yet ANOTHER downfall!!

So I found the new competition details on www.newmoonmovie.com and was so happy, I was finally going to get my chance to enter the competition of a life time! Having the chance to star in the movie (and the books that it had been adapted from) that i'd been obsessing about ever since I could remember! Me, a sixteen year old blonde, british, fat, girl had found the one thing that gave me even more joy-the chance to have the experience of a lifetime that i could share with all my twifriends!-I was jumping for joy, bouncing off the walls and running around in my pyjama's in the ecstatic feeling I was experiencing.

That was until I took a closer look...

'Applicants must be from the U.S. or Canada.'

"Wait a minute, what?"


'Applicants must be from the U.S. or Canada.'

"Excuse me?"


'Applicants must be from the U.S. or Canada.'

"Come Again?"


'Applicants must be from the U.S. or Canada.'

"Yeah I got it but omgsh what the hell!?"


'Applicants must be from the U.S. or Canada.'

"STOP!"

hmph...

"Just....stop"

I began to feel sick as all the ecstatic and joyous energy drained out of my body. AND as you may well know i go into one of my favorite routines-panic and hyperventilation!

"deep breath's EJC deep breaths" I tell myself in a shaky voice.
"Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale...." I take in the deepest breath and stop as an unfamiliar urge surges through my body:

'If only I was an American, I want to be an American, If only I was an American I want to be AN AMERICAN!!!!"

I love Britain and have never even thought about whether I'd been a different nationality:my love of the english countryside, Tea and scones, the union jack, the tacky seaside's, soap television and Roast dinner just over powered everything else (even though I love all my american buddies on twifans and have NO disrespect or america or it's being-as you may know I'm a good person but I've always loved being British...until now it seems.

All the British life leaves my body and I'm now filled with this HUGE want-need if you put it that way to BE American and I'm 're-fueled' with thought's of Lady Liberty, Washington, The Whitehouse, President Obama, Cheeseburgers (don't ask?), Diners, A-list movie-stars, YOU GUYS! FORKS! and of course, this competition that I have to (by any means necessary) enter because of my super-intense obsession with this wonderful world that is 'The Twilight Saga'.

I helplessly begin crying again as reality hits me like a hunting vampire when my nearly 70 year old grandma totters into the room with a cup of tea, very slowly lowers her frail worn body into her rocking chair, looks at me with sympathetic eyes and asks me "what's up love?". My sobs intense and get louder even more as i hear her use that word "love" and recollect that Edward frequently uses this name for Bella.

As she sips her tea slowly (honestly by the time she's finished it must be as cold as a vampire!) I begin this frenzy of a rant explaining why I feel so down, my love for Twilight and it's sisters, the competition, my love for Britain but my urge to become American so I can enter more Twilight competitions and so I have a better chance of getting into the conventions, my obsession, my love, my passion for TWILIGHT!

Half an hour later, gasping for breath, I glance over to Granny for her to re-assure me and tell me it's going to be okay and come up with an amazing plan to rid me of all my woes- she's asleep. Great.
As my mind returns to its British state I am again.... left puzzled upset and unsatisfied with my Twilight addiction. I need my fix! Like Edward says 'like my own personal brand of Heroin' it soo Is!

And this is my next argument! (other than asking Paris to back off!) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Let the British be included PLEASE! I beg of youu...

Otherwise I'm off to Volterra!!

Peace Out!


EJC
xxx

Views: 7

Tags: saga, twilight

Comment by O~*~ClaireBear~*~O on February 27, 2009 at 10:03am
omg. ok i am officially in love with you EJC! you write the most amazing blogs, and at the same time i agree with everything you are saying. im from your homeland too....england lol. and i really want to enter stuff aswell! its SOOOOOO not fair! we should bombard these sites not allowing us to enter their competions with a petition or something! they need to change their beastly ways! i mean COME ON. its total discrimination!!!

and also. i doubt you are actually fat. everyone says that but its almost never true. and i love the part about your grandma! very descriptive lol!

love claire x x x

p.s PLEASE don't go to volterra lol!
Comment by ElizabethJaneCullen on February 27, 2009 at 1:05pm
I really am fat (: but thanks Claire :P

EJC
xxx
Comment by Kawee on February 27, 2009 at 1:39pm
I'm exactly the same, i saw it was only for the US and Canada and was a bit peeved! *humph* Please include the rest of us!!!
Comment by O~*~ClaireBear~*~O on February 28, 2009 at 9:02am
lol. oooh. like your rob poster. i have the same one on my wall. sugar lad mag right?
Comment by ElizabethJaneCullen on March 1, 2009 at 6:00am
yup sugar (:

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