Vampires exude two types of power. The first is the raw, physical power. The vampire is always in
phenomenal shape; it must be the low carbs/high blood diet and tons of
sleep. The second type of power is mental. He's usually a manipulative
bastard who can match brains as much as brawn. This amazing one-two
combo is a major reason women love vampires. Moreover, it’s almost
impossible to kill a vampire. You think he’s dead? Nope. Still not dead.
What the single guy could learn: Every man knows he has to stay in top physical shape. More important, though, is being
mentally powerful. Never stop learning; tackle a new language, do
puzzles and games to keep your mind sharp and for ghoul’s sake read
challenging and thought-provoking books instead of the sports page every
morning. That’s another reason women love vampires; they can carry on a
conversation about something other than baseball stats.
Give those dead, bloodsucking bastards credit: they know how to romance the pants off a woman. The setting is always dark and mysterious
and the atmosphere is just right for doing something dirty. The full
moon seems to follow them wherever they go. One of the reasons women
love vampires is that they know how to pull all the tricks to make the
setting perfect. Also working to their advantage is that they don’t do
much talking to ruin the moment. They’ve also had years of practice.
What the single guy could learn: Set the mood and pick romantic spots for even the simplest activities. Remember places and little
nuances for special occasions. Do the small things: special occasions,
flowers for no reason, and tiny little "I love you" reminders to make
her feel special. If you show her how much you care, you might end up
involved in a different kind of sucking that doesn’t involve blood.
Woman love to think they were destined to be with one man for the rest of their lives. They love the romantic angle of a soul mate --
two people destined to meet, fall in love and be together forever. Now
imagine that man is just as eager to find her and has been searching for
untold centuries. It knocks a woman off her feet like a silver bullet
through the heart. When a vampire sinks his teeth (figuratively) into a
woman, he makes her feel like the only woman in the world. It’s no
wonder women fall hard -- then again, it could also be the blood loss.
What the single guy could learn: Prove to her that she is the only woman in your life. Don’t check out other girls at a bar or ogle at the Top 99 Women on AskMen (at least not for as long as you usually do), and make her
feel like the greatest thing that has ever happened to you.
Vampires have a calming demeanor. They are suave, smooth and soft-spoken, and the women eat it up. They convince the smart and savvy
women that their odd behavior is on the up-and-up. They even convince
them it’s cool to suck blood. How hard is that? You can’t even convince
her to try new sexual positions.
What the single guy could learn: Tell a woman what you want by being candid and straightforward, but not
necessarily demanding. It will save a ton of time in arguing and
fighting. Speak your mind. Don’t play games. Don’t let her have to
figure you out.
Women beg to differ, but they honestly do like the occasional hint of drama in a relationship. It keeps things fresh and exciting.
This is perfect for the vampire, whose mood is constantly changing.
You’d be pissed too if people wanted you dead and all you’ve had to eat
for a couple centuries is some blood and the occasional taste of plasma.
It’s not the greatest life to lead. Good thing they’ve got all the
female attention to keep things bearable.
What the single guy could learn: Don’t be a moody little baby, but occasionally keep her on her toes. As
soon as a relationship becomes complacent and boring, the problems
is one of the reasons women love vampires, so be unpredictable
yourself. Do things out of the ordinary like pop into her office for
lunch, make her a surprise dinner or demand she skip work to spend the
Woman love sex. Honestly. But what they love even more is all the fooling around that should be involved before sex. As we all know,
men just like to get down to business -- but not vampires. They don’t
even really care about sex. They want to mess around. Particularly
around the neck area -- the “sweet spot” as it’s known around the
coffins. They know how to start off tender and soft and then get a
little rough. Rough enough to draw blood. Kinky.
What the single guy could learn: Start off slow with foreplay. Find out all her most erotic spots. Don’t know her erotic spots? Here’s
a crazy notion: Ask her! Spend extra time on those areas; especially
the neck. The vamps have that part down to a sweet science. If you draw
blood you are definitely doing something wrong. The sex will happen. She
won’t forget it’s the big payoff, and neither will you.
Ever seen a poorly dressed vampire? Never. Vampires are always impeccably dressed with perfect hair and a nice complexion (though a tad pale). Their fashionable (and
usually dark) duds show off just the right amount of chest. A nice pair
of skin-tight pants and an occasional ascot or medallion completes the
look. Like a modern-day Tom Jones without the giant crucifix in his
pants -- Goth but classy. They usually look better dressed than the
living, not even taking into consideration the fact they can’t exactly
run to Kenneth Cole at lunch to pick up a nice pair of dark chinos for
tonight’s big date. They wear their clothes well and always with the
perfect fit. Thankfully, most have dropped the cape.
What the single guy could learn: Dress well for every occasion. Always be slightly overdressed. Find a style
that works. Go to a store and ask the clerk for assistance. Pick
clothing that fits your body type. Pick colors that go with your skin
tone. When in doubt, dress like the mannequin. But never wear the cape, no matter how good it looks.
Even though women love to spend as much time as possible with the man they adore, they still want some alone time to do things with
the girls or on their own. They feel bad if they don’t at least call
and check in a few times during the day. Women love vampires because
vampires can’t take up the entirety of a woman’s day. Hell, they can’t
even stay that late into the night. Sleepovers only last until the sun
is coming up and vampires are nowhere to be found until the sun goes
What the single guy could learn: Sometimes a woman does just want to be alone. Give her time to do her own thing and be
her own person. Give her space to be independent. It will make the time
she spends with you even more special.
The average guy runs with a pack; a group of close drinking buddies who come over to watch the game, hit the links on the weekends
and get into trouble together. This clan takes up quality time and
attention that is usually reserved for a girlfriend. Vampires work
alone. They don’t have many friends, and if they do, they are usually
out doing their own thing. Women love vampires because they have all the
time in the world. Literally.
What the single guy could learn: Don’t hang out with your friends so much. Make time for her and
occasionally bag plans with the boys. The guys, the game, the golf, and
the beers will always be there. Show her you are your own man.