Robert Pattinson has clearly looked at some of Hollywood’s greats to get inspiration for his acting prowess. Take Tom Hanks for example. R-Patz has certainly looked at his career and thought ‘Yes! I want to be just like Wilson The Volleyball from Castaway!’
Pattinson has gone to great lengths to be so toweringly dull that, when a director needs to daub a character on him, it is a clean flipchart he has to work with. If Pattinson was a food, he’d be flour.
And so, hecklerspray finds it incredible that away from the whirring cameras and people slapping runners about, Robert Pattinson has managed to irritate someone. And that someone is Kristen Stewart who is, apparently, sick of the sight of him.
Of course, it is very easy to become irritated with inanimate objects. Like a dead cobweb idly floating about on a ceiling, Kristen has probably thought about dusting it, but that means she’d have to fetch a chair to stand on and she clearly can’t be bothered, or, if you want a literal picture, she can’t be bothered dumping him, preferring to stay with him but sleep in a different room from him.
But if Robert Pattinson sits alone in a room, is he there at all?
Naturally, Pattinson and Stewart are getting sick of each other because they spend all their time together and now want some time apart.
An insider has said:
“Rob and Kristen have literally grown sick of each other”
That’s a wonderful image. The couple are LITERALLY spending days where they do nothing but vomit in each other’s presence. When they’re not vomiting, they’re both trying to meekly smile while forcing pre-sick water back down toward their gizzards.
The insider continues:
“They are in virtually scene together in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, and this has to be the most intense shoot yet. Everyone is wondering how they’ll survive.”
“They’ve started sleeping in separate bedrooms because, after a long day of playing a married couple with a child, they’re exhausted and the last person they want to see is each other.”
“They’re confused about the state of their relationship and whether they’re ready for the long haul.”
As Pattinson is so crashingly non-existent, you can only imagine that Kristen Stewart is annoyed at the depth and breadth of the actor, which is quite some feat in itself. That, or he has some foetid stench that he carries around with him and Stewart is tired of trying to find the source of the pong, wandering past The Patz under the assumption that he’s a bit of furniture like an empty bookshelf or knackered old poufe.
Either way, it looks like we could be having yet another celebrity break-up before the year is out. “It’ll be lonely this Christmas, without you to hoooold…”