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New spoof movie Vampires Suck, from "the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie" (aka the guys behind Disaster Movie and Epic Movie), looks set to either entertain or infuriate fans of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga, as it attempts to poke fun at the movie phenomenon. For the Twihaters, aka disgruntled boyfriends and husbands, it may be an even better offering than David Slade's addition for Eclipse.

We take a closer look at some of the scenes Vampires Suck parodies in its official trailer, which includes the all-important paper-cut scene from New Moon. Remember, Twilighters: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. No, really.

Let us know what you think in the comments. Will you see Vampires Suck when it opens August 18, or is laughing at Meyer's creation one step too far?

The Vampires Suck trailer starts as any Twilight Saga trailer should: with a sweeping view of what is supposed to be an aerial look at Forks, Washington. Even the score soundtrack is an exact
homage to that found in Twilight — these producers sure know what they're doing!

Oh, look! It's the Twilight font, in all its silver shimmery goodness. Twilighters would recognize this writing anywhere — after all, it's almost as iconic as the book cover. Add to that a dark,
brooding black background, and you get the vampire picture.

After we see more text stating "The most extraordinary story of our generation" (Really? Who knew?), we hear Matt Lanter of 90210 fame take the Edward voiceover, "I want you to meet my family." Who is this group of mismatched people, you ask? Why, they're the Cullens, of
course! We know it's hard to see anyone else play these characters, but
the Vampires Suck team hasn't done a bad job of exaggerating
the Cullens' individual trademark looks. Rosalie's pretty and blonde,
Jasper has questionable curly hair, and Alice is small and pixie-like.
The only difference is that they have fangs — well, people have got to
realize they're vampires somehow.

"We've heard so much about you," says fake Esme, before the shot cuts to Kristen Stew — oh, wait, it's not actually the Twilight cast. Our bad. It's Jenn Proske as Bella (or Becca, in this movie) and Lanter as Edward. We could have sworn that Robert Pattinson had stumbled into the wrong movie — Lanter has his Edward hair perfected to a T. He's even got the monster sideburns and pale-white,
ice-cold skin. And Becca ... well, she's smiling. That, in itself, is
hilarious, right?

After Bella, or Becca, opens her present, she gets a dreaded paper cut that's straight out of New Moon. This can never be good. Jasper licks his lips, envisions her head as a huge burger, and proceeds to put a napkin down his shirt in preparation
for his meal. He lunges towards Bella and Edward with a knife and fork
in his hands, in what has to be one of the funniest parody scenes ever
to grace the big screen. Way to take things literally, Mr. Writers.

After Edward throws Jasper inside a piano, we're back to the red Vampires Suck font, as "From the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie" appears on screen — a blatant call to arms for all those disgruntled
boyfriends and husbands. We're sure they'll be populating theaters for
this one as if it were a new summer action movie made especially for
them. A chance to laugh at the very thing that has taken over their
women's lives? Christmas come early.

Cut to Bella's trademark longing look from Twilight, as Becca sits in the cafeteria and stares at Edward Cullen's pale-white, ice-cold ... yeah, you get the picture. Proske almost looks more Bella
than Stewart — could it be that she's actually embracing her character
and enjoying herself?

Time for another ROFLMAO moment, as we see Edward saunter through the cafeteria, deftly applying foundation to his perfect face. While looking in a mirror and everything. Playing on the Cullens' beautiful
appearance is a genius move — how many of you have seen the flawless
skin and rolled your eyes skyward? Well, now you can get the inside
scoop on what Edward really does between takes. It's not all natural, y'know.

One of Catherine Hardwicke's most famous Twilight scenes is given the parody treatment next, as we see Edward and Becca having "the talk" in a Forks forest. "You don't get it, I'm a killer"
says Edward, before pulling a gun out of thin air and shooting Alice
from Alice in Wonderland, who disappears down a rabbit h***. Random, but effective.

Did you ever expect to see a shirtless wolf pack singing and dancing to "It's Raining Men"? No, we didn't either. But join us as we laugh at the sight of four grown men strutting their stuff while the
Nomad vampire coven watches on in awe. We always knew the wolf pack was

We also never thought we'd see Aro, Marcus, and Caius from ancient vampire clan the Volturi participating in frat party–style games. Who knew they were personable, sociable people? Or vampires, if you're being
picky? The accompanying extras dressed in red signify New Moon's
St. Marcus Day celebrations in Italy, which takes place at the end of
the original movie. Now, there's attention to detail for you.

Next up is our favorite Vampires Suck moment. As Jacob takes off his shirt, Becca asks him why. His answer? With Exhibit A in hand, "My contract says I have to every 10 minutes of screen time,"
before spraying himself with copious amounts of body spray (or
glitter?). Excuse us, but LOL! It's no secret that Summit has the real
Jacob, played by the incredibly toned Taylor Lautner,
take his shirt off as much as humanly possible. It's a way to appease
the female viewers, and ensure hundreds of repeat viewings. Clearly it's
all about the abs.

Cut to Twilight's first scene featuring the Nomad vampires Victoria, James, and Laurent. The guy playing doomed human Waylon Forge mistakes them for a different trio. "Why does everyone always think
we're the Black Eyed Peas?" asks James. Let's be honest here: They do
resemble the '90s hip hop group. Laurent even has the dreadlocks to
prove it.

"Jacob, run!" shouts Becca. Jacob does just that before leaping into the air and turning into a ... teeny, tiny Chihuahua. Oh, how we laughed when we saw this. By the looks of it, the Nomads weren't too
impressed either.

The Vampires Suck trailer ends back in Italy, just as New Moon did. "Edward," shouts Becca, with uncharacteristic emotion. "Where? Edward, we love you, you're the best!" shouts a crazed teenage Team
Edward fan, as we see him uber-sparkling in front of the whole
courtyard. "No, Jacob's the best!" shouts a crazed Team Jacob fan,
before hitting the Edward fan in the face with a spade. Now that's team
rivalry, if ever we saw it.

source ReelzChannel

via twilightfeverbrasil

Views: 697

Comment by lola taylor on August 1, 2010 at 12:14am
i'm going to see it. i love the wolfpack dancing
Comment by Allison Harris on August 1, 2010 at 12:43am
I wanna see it. If you love something a lot, I think poking fun at it is ok for me.
Comment by Vess Carlie Cullen on August 1, 2010 at 12:47am
that will be AWESOME!!!
Comment by backupStew on August 1, 2010 at 1:51am
sorry ppl I've already seen it. and trust me, it's not that great. and considering I laugh about everything, this movie is not close to be good. Not that I hate spoofs, I love them, like scary movie, but this is not great. It has some pretty hilarious moments, but there's something that doesnt work. sorry again. see it if you want anyway.
Comment by Melz Harrison on August 1, 2010 at 1:52am
Honestly, i thought that it was hilarious!!! I love the saga, but i'm totally going to see this movie :)
Comment by Emma on August 1, 2010 at 1:55am
im not going to see it, its not because its making fun of Twilight i dont really care if they do, its just most of the time these type of movies try really hard to be funny and then they just end up sucking, so im not going to see it :)
Comment by Maddison Russell on August 1, 2010 at 2:05am
i am so obsessed with the twilight saga, but this movie looks really funny. i am going to see it
Comment by Robertfanxxxx on August 1, 2010 at 7:25am
I am not interesed in enything that pokes fun at twilight i am a die-hard twifan so no thanks!!
Comment by Lindy Rosa Bella on August 1, 2010 at 7:46am
I'm sorry. I'm not interested in this at all. I am a twilight fan for all the right reasons and to me, this is just something for someone else to get attention off of twilight. Twilight is just way too different and too incredible for these morons, so, therefore, they have to make fun of it. Well..thats the world today! They hung Jesus on a cross, didn't they? Yeah..well..sorry! I'm not seeing this movie! I know crap when I see it. And I'm not of the world. I have way too much respect for what The Twilight Saga truly is.
Comment by Lindy Rosa Bella on August 1, 2010 at 7:50am
The Cullens would be rolling their eyes at this. I'm sure Stephenie Meyer is sick to her stomach. And I'm pretty positive that this movie will fail. I guess you guys can go and see it if you want...but just keep in mind that this is from the people who can't handle pure love and self-sacrifice. Aka: Twilight.


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