What if Twilight Was Written By Author Who Wasn’t Stephenie Meyer? or Famous Writers Had Written Twilight…?????

what Twilight would have looked like if famous authors wrote the immortal love saga instead of Stephenie Meyer. But what if other young adult authors were at the helm? or great literary writers of the last 200 years ?????

There have been a couple articles published lately about what the Twilight Saga’s plot and characters would have been like if Twilight hadn’t been written by Stephenie Meyer.....

Here’s the best of the best, culled from the articles and comments....

sooooo interesting :D..check them out :-

Judy Blume-Forever, Deenie, Then Again, Maybe I Won’t
Bella and her best friend Jacob love to go to the movies and just hang out in the Washington state fog, but lately Bella’s been spending all her time with her boyfriend Edward. Will Bella learn to balance her relationship with her friendship, and remember to always wear protection?

Suzanne Collins-The Hunger Games
When Bella’s father is killed in a police shoot out, Bella has to drop out of high school and take a minimum wage job so she’ll be able to feed herself. When the opportunity to compete on a reality show for the chance to win a million dollars comes up she knows she has to take it; but when she gets there she realizes when the players are eliminated they’re executed so they won’t reveal the show’s secrets. Bella knows she can win if she aligns her self with Edward, who seems to know what the other contestants will do before they do it, but will the alliance distance her from her woodsy BFF Jacob back home?

Lemony Snicket-A Series of Unfortunate Events
Bella comes to live with her father when her mother is killed in a freak accident, but as soon as she gets comfortable with her dad he dies in a similar freak accident. Luckily the kindly Cullens love to take in older teen orphans, and they have plenty of room in their mansion. Bella thinks it’s going to be great, but the Cullens are hiding a more sinister agenda…

Laurie Halse Anderson-Speak, Wintergirls, Twisted
When Bella starts at a new school she feels totally alone, until Edward comes along. Soon he’s all she can think about. But what starts as a crush quickly turns dark as he starts sneaking into her room to watch her sleep and talking about hurting her. Will landing in the hospital make her realize there’s a difference between love and obsession?

Francesca Lia Block
-Weetzie Bat, Echo, Violet and Clair

Depressed in the face of the Fork’s gloom Bella’s almost given up on the idea of love, when she meets Edward, whose diamond dazzle skin melts the fog, and Jacob, whose strong arms will always protect her. She convinces them both to move with her to LA, where everyone assumes Edward is wearing body glitter and they accepts Jacob’s wolfishness as is.Together they live in a vintage-decorated apartment, eat organic muffins, and grow to love each other more and more.

Herman Melville

“Call me Bella.” A tome about the length of the original series investigates Bella’s monomanical search for the vampire who stole her virginity. There’s an entire chapter devoted to describing the devastating whiteness of Edward’s skin, and several on the physiognomy of vampires, starting with their skeletal structure outward.

Virginia Woolf

The novel takes place over the course of twenty four hours, during which Bella is painting a portrait of Edward and reflecting on how her femininity circumscribes her role within 20th century society.

Cormac McCarthy

In the opening scene, Edward dashes Bella’s head against a rock and rapes her corpse. Then he and Jacob take off on an unexplained rampage through the West.

Jane Austen

Basically the same as the original, except that Bella is socially apt and incredibly witty. Her distrust of Edward is initially bourne out of a tragic misunderstanding of his character, but after a fling with Jacob during which he sexually assaults her (amusing to no one in this version) she and Edward live happily ever after.

George Saunders

Same as the original, but set in a theme park. Somehow involves gangs of robots, which distract the reader from the essential sappiness of Edward and Bella’s story.

Raymond Carver

Bella stars as the alcoholic barmaid with daddy issues that Edward, a classic abuser, exploits. When Bella’s old friend Jacob comes to visit and is shocked by her bruises, she thinks about leaving him, but instead hits the gin bottle. Hard.

Annie Proulx

Edward and Jacob defy society’s expectations up in the mountains.

Lewis Carroll

Bella takes acid and charts syllogisms.

James Joyce

Edward’s rapacious love for Bella reflects the way globalism has pillaged Ireland. It’s entirely written in Esperanto, with sections in untranslated Greek, except for Chapter 40, which is inexplicably rendered as a script page from the musical The Book of Mormon.

Dorothy Parker

Bella writes a brilliant takedown of the latest school play, dates a string of men, and repeatedly attempts suicide.

Kate Chopin

Stifled by her marriage to Edward, Bella has an affair with Jacob and then drowns herself.

Ernest Hemingway

Edward and Bella exchange terse dialogue alluding to Edward’s anatomical problem. Eventually, Bella leaves him for Jacob, a local bullfighter with a giant…sense of entitlement.

Flannery O’Connor

When Native American werewolf Jacob threatens her with death, Bella reconsiders her hardcore racism, and just for one milisecond, the audience finds her sympathetic.

Ayn Rand

Edward tells Bella that he intends to stop saving her life, unless she starts paying him in gold bullion. Hatefucking ensues, then Jacob spouts objectivist philosophy for the next 100 pages.

Tim O’Brien

It’s all about the memories these vampires have carried with them for the past couple hundred years. Just think how much that would have deepened their characters. “Bella looked into Edward’s smoldering eyes and knew all the pain he carried with him, the cross burned into the cleft of his muscular chest, 1 oz., the dash of his hair across his forehead, dangling ever-so, 5.oz, etc… etc… ”


Bella becomes the representation of a faulty religion system, constantly changing its ideas and practices, and bumbling over its self. She would be courted by Edward who represents the political problems of the era. Comments are made to describe how the two shouldn’t be together, yet are inseparable. Jacob would be the people, constantly drawn by the strings of Bella. Mustache Dad would be the philosophers, always eager to watch, never eager to react.This would naturally be all hidden within some sort of whimsical adventure of some sort.

J. R. R. Tolkein (1)

The basic struggle between good and evil is still there, but every place the characters walk through is described in a lot of detail with precise, yet flowery paragraphs. Vampires now speak their own language, the history of which has been carefully charted, form that spoken by the first vampires in 5th century Romania up through the modern covens. Every so often, a character will stop to sing a bit of an ancient song or quote some archaic poetry.

Tolkien (2)

While in the midst of trying to decide who she loves more, Edward or Jacob, a grey bearded man in a trench coat, hat and a cane arrives in Forks and seeks out Jacob. He convinces Jacob to travel with him to Spain, on foot, to stop a major catastrophe brewing there. The Volturi and the other vampire covens have taken over Europe and are converting as many people into vampires as possible to start an all-out vampire/human war.

Edward and the rest of the Cullens reluctantly agrees to go with them and to reveal the vampire’s ultimate weakness: the volcanic ash from Mt. Etna for some reason is highly poisonous to all vampires. They then attempt to break into a US missile base and fire a nuclear missile into Mt. Etna to kill all the vampires in Europe.

However, Victoria finds out the Cullen’s betrayal and follows them in order to get revenge. She tricks the Quileute tribe into pursuing the Cullens by making it look like Bella was turned into a vampire against her will.

Jacob discovers Victoria’s betrayal and ends up battling her one-on-one at the rim of Mt. Etna and wins when she falls into the molten lava. The missile launches and it looks like the end of Jacob, but Edward arrives in time in via stolen jet plane and using a grappling hook pulls Jacob away from the blast site. Mt. Etna erupts and ends the vampire threat in Europe. Bella stays home and writes in her diary that she might be a lesbian.

Shakespeare: “The Most Lamentable Tragedie of Edward and Isabella”

Edward is the scion of the House of Cullen, traditionally vassals to the Duke of Volterra, who employed them in their recent conflict against a rebel house, the Blacks. While the conflict has stalemated, the Cullens were mostly successful in the role they played (although Edward admits in soliloquy that he is troubled by things he has done in the service of the Volturi). Edward is commissioned by the Duke to negotiate a truce with the Blacks, and is sent with several of his captains to deliver terms to the Black stronghold. While there, he spies Bella (aged 14), and falls instantly in love with her, not knowing that she was formerly betrothed to Jacob Black (who has forsworn her, out of fear of his own uncontrollable rages). She is similarly enraptured by him, and they agree to run away together. This causes the peace to be broken, and angers the Duke, who has forbidden marriage between humans and vampires. As a punishment, the Volturi strip the Cullens of their titles, and Alice, Edward’s sister, is killed. This causes Edward to take the side of the Blacks, and re-ignite the rebellion, although he knows that this will make Bella a target of revenge from his former lords. As he predicted, Bella is attacked by the Volturi, and left for dead. Edward is only able to save her by making her a vampire, but this cannot prevent the rage of Jacob, who blames him both for her injuries, and for the loss of her humanity. They fight, and both are killed, leaving Bella, now alone and immortal.

Shakespeare: “Much Ado About Vampyres”

After being shipwrecked, Isabella Swan (aged 14) and her maid become lost in the magical forest around the Virginia colony. There she encounters Edward, a prince of the Vampires (although he has disguised himself as a simple woodsman). She continues to meet him over the course of several evenings, where they discourse on several aspects of love. In their debates, Edward takes the side of love’s impermanence and susceptibility to human circumstances, while Bella argues the part of eternal love. During each day, there are several comedic episodes involving masks, mistaken identity, and gender switching, with Edward and his brothers and sisters attempting to seduce Bella in various guises. An important element in these scenes are entrances and exits based on the presence of sun or clouds in the sky (motifs that are carried over into the poetry). In several scenes, Jacob, wearing wolf ears and a tail, engages in a more physical type of comedy, while also providing poignant commentary on the place of indigenous peoples in the colonial world. Throughout these episodes, the Cullens fail to lead Bella astray, and during her conversations with Edward, she wins him over to the cause of eternal love. In the final act, Edward’s parents reveal themselves as king and queen of the Vampires, all the various subterfuges are revealed, and Edward and Bella are married. The play ends with music and a dance.

you can read more at the source here , here & here

Views: 34

Comment by cornelia marie hale on January 7, 2012 at 9:11am

coool :D


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