What Would Vampires Write in their Diary? (Diary enteries by famous vampires)

Dear Diary,
I'm having second thoughts about this whole "going to high school" thing. Carlisle says it helps us blend in longer, but does it? Really? I mean, if we just lived in the woods, and made sure our fake IDs said we were 18, wouldn't that be better than making sure every kid in town knows us, and getting our pictures taken and published in book form once a year? Also, the homework is starting to get really annoying. I mean, I have to write a paper on Miles Davis, and I can't even mention that we hung out that one time. This bites. Oh, well, guess I'm gonna go break into that new girl's bedroom and watch her sleep.
Edward Cullen (Twilight duh...if you didn't know that you shouldn't be here)


Deah Diary,
Tonight, ah made the acquaintance of a lovely young woman by the name of Sookie St. James, and ah believe that ah am fallin' in luhve with huh. She has an unusual ability, in that when ah tell huh what to do, she does not feel obligated to accede to mah demands. This resistance to mah glamuh intrigues me, and ah am sorely tempted to invite huh back to my ancestral home and ask huh to play a game with me on mah Nintendo Wii. Ah do not know if she would prefuh Wii Golf or Wii Bowling, but ah am equally skilled at both, and that will hopefully tickle huh fancy.
Yours truly, Bill Compton (True Blood)



Dear Diary,
GRRRR! This body suit is driving me insane! It keeps riding up, I squeak when I walk... Really, why even wear it, you know? Well, besides the fact that I look really good in it. Seriously, Diary, if you could see me now? Mm-mmm. Tasty. All of the other vamps were checking me out today, and even some of the werewolves, and keep in mind I was shooting at them at the time. I mean, who checks out the ass of the person who's currently shooting a gun at them? Werewolves, apparently. But I can't blame them, because I look pretty amazing. Whoops, gotta go, Diary -- I just awakened the founder of our clan from his centuries-old slumber, and he's kind of ticked off. Hopefully, he won't be able to stay mad at someone wearing a skin-tight leather outfit.
Selene (Underworld)

Views: 8

Comment by Veronica Blake on September 10, 2009 at 5:47pm
Had me laughing out loud...great!!
Comment by twiliqht fanatic on September 10, 2009 at 6:17pm
awsome !
Comment by Melissa on September 10, 2009 at 6:17pm
The Bill one is perfect. The accent. lol.
Comment by tet_d on September 10, 2009 at 6:19pm
Alison these are great! So funny LMAO. If vampires write a diary? Who would think of that idea? So funny to think they could have thousand of diaries by now. Am thinking of Aro and those other old vampires in the coven... and Carlisle (he had a certain adventures and experiences that will be good to read of, esp his struggle to ignore blood) hmmm... stephenie must write a special series out of their diaries...
Comment by Jen S. on September 10, 2009 at 6:19pm
These are awesome!!!
Comment by Sarah Anaya aka Cookie Monster ! on September 10, 2009 at 6:20pm
LOL Bills is perfect .. down to the accent .... and Edward is just funny .. good job
Comment by Katherine Marie on September 10, 2009 at 6:22pm
Bill's had muh laughing hystericly!!! Gahhhahahahaha
Comment by Stephanie Leigh on September 10, 2009 at 6:23pm
LMOA!! That's too funny!
Comment by deessa on September 10, 2009 at 6:27pm
oh Bill and his accent lol
that was awesome
Comment by Fabienne P. on September 10, 2009 at 6:27pm
hillarious! We neeeed moooore!

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